Brewstew – Health Class

Brewstew – Health Class


Alright, now when
I was a kid in middle school, it was required to take
a semester of health class. And health class
was pretty straightforward. It was mostly just a class to
steer you away from cigarettes and alcohol. “Smoking cigarettes causes cancer!
Do you see this picture right here?” “This is what a cancerous lung
looks like from smoking!” “Uh.. that looks like
a picture of Lindsay Lohan.” “What? What are you talking about?” “Oh yeah, that is Lindsay Lohan!
She was in the Parent Trap!” “I don’t know what the hell
you guys are talking about.” “All I can see is an infected,
diseased, disgusting lump of shit!” “Cause by years of self-abuse.” “That’s all I see.” The teacher would always make us go up
in front of the class and do presentations. “My presentation is called
‘Alcohol ruins your life’.” My sources are this book, “A Fifth of Scotch a Day
Keeps Your Family Away.” And an interview I did with my stepdad. But the drug and alcohol talk
was nothing, compared to sex ed. Because in sex ed your teacher
would say some shit, that you would never want
to hear them say again. “Okay everybody,
today we’re talking about the panis.” “I know some of your are
gonna be giggling every time I say it,” “but panis is just a word.” “P-A-N-I-S. PANIS” One day we were sitting in class, and the teacher taped
the bunch of STDs to the chalkboard. “Okay, now I know you guys are at
the age, where you’re going through puberty.” “And your body is starting
to go through changes.” “My body is changing?
What am I, a fucking anamorph?” “For example, you got Todd over there.” “He thinks he’s pretty cool, because
he’s got a few whiskers on his upper lip.” “Well Todd, you think your
shitty excuse of a mustache is gonna save you
from the horrors of gonorrhea?” “I don’t think so.” “All right, I want everybody to pick your
favourite sexually-transmitted disease and present it to class next Friday.” Well, I didn’t really know
what my favorite STD was, so I just picked chlamydia. Because chlamydia kinda
sounds like it could be like a Pokemon. – Chlamydia, I choose you, go!
– Blerp. So for this presentation, I decided to make
this big-ass poster board to show to the class. I got the word chlamydia written up top
in big-ass bubble-letters like an idiot. I’m standing at the bus stop
in the morning, people are driving by,
honking their horns and shit. “What the hell,
is that kid advertising chlamydia?” “Hey asshole, I got plenty of chlamydia
from my ex-wife, no thank you!” So I’m standing up there,
in front of the whole class. It’s worth noting,
that I absolutely hate speaking in public. Let alone, when I have to list off
all the goddamn symptoms for chlamydia. “Okay, if everybody can refer to
my big-ass obnoxious poster board, you can see, that the common
symptoms include a burning sensation, and a yellowish discharge.” “Oh God! A yellowish
discharge from the panis!” “Who the hell wants that in their life?” But I thought that was
the worst part of the health class, it was nothing,
compared to the Miracle of Life. Because The Miracle of Life
was the movie made in the 80s, that talks about
where babies come from. And at first, when the teacher
wheeled out that bad-boy TV on the cart, we were all kind of excited. “Oh hell yeah!
What are we watching? Ghost Busters?” “I hope we’re watching Ghost Busters!” “Today, kids, we’re gonna watch
the film ‘The Miracle of Life’.” “And it’s gonna take you step by step from when you were a weird little
shrimp person in your mom’s belly to the fully-functional
human being that you are today. So we start watching this movie,
and 95% of the movie is indeed what he said. It does show us how we go
from weird little shrimp monsters to a fully-functional human baby! But then, outta fucking nowhere,
it cuts to a woman giving birth to a baby. And it shows everything. This chick is spread-eagled,
the camera’s right in their business. Everybody in the class room is horrified. “Oh, what the fuck!” “Oh sick, I just ate chicken Parmesan
for lunch for Christ’s sake!” Meanwhile the teacher keeps pausing
the video to add commentary. “And here we can see
the baby’s head beginning to crown.” “It kinda looks like if you cut
an avocado in half, doesn’t it?” (Blerp!) “Oh boy, that is messy!
I hope that cameraman is wearing a poncho!” (Blerp!) “And that was
The Miracle of Life, everybody.” “All right, anybody have any questions?” “Ah, yeah, can I file
a restraining order against your ass?” “So you can never
show me that shit again?” After school we’re all outside, traumatized. There are kids
smoking cigarettes and shit. “That was not the fucking Ghost Busters!” “Hey, you’re not smoking
cigarettes out there, are you?” “Is this really what you wanna become in life?
Take a good look!” https://brewstew.com Special Thanks To: Josh Denny. Special Thanks To: (These wonderful people) &
All the other Patrons! https://www.patreon.com/brewstew https://shop.makeship.com/collections/brewstewfilms
https://www.Facebook.com/brewstewcom https://twitter.com/brewstewfilms

Comments

(100 Comments)

  • Evan Cops

    "Dude what am i a fucking animorph"
    That had me in fucking tears

  • Pixl - Rocket Leauge

    Brewstew: Uploads

    Everyone: He clearly likes it!

  • Creeper1924

    This is 𝙳𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚋𝚒𝚗𝚐

  • Six Dix Tony

    I had the same teacher as Tyler in middle school.

    He Straight up said it exactly like that.

    “Payniss”

  • KakoZaaa

    Hey what are u gonna do when Adobe flash dissapears

  • Spartan Felix

    Puberty. Pokemon fans think they're evolving.

  • jack l

    That videotape is reverse porn

  • Derpinator

    2:44 you said "a disgrace piece of shit " wrong

  • Bruh Moments

    “My body’s changing what am I an animorph??!!”😂

  • Landan Cashwell

    P A N I S

  • Juan Garcia

    Why is Aaron Carter an STD.lol

  • Dylan Fitzgerald

    Dude, I caught Aaron Carter from my ex, it sucks

  • WimpyKid

    the parent trap good movie

  • nitash Tamang

    COOI MIHSIN

  • KatKartoons

    In 7th grade health we had to watch a anti-drug presentation and the presenter vividly described watching a high man gouge his eyes out.

    I didn’t like that class.

  • Tim Galvin

    Ah, the Miracle of Life. At my high school, there was at least one person per class per semester that fainted during that video.

  • Joseph Alexander Molesky Heredia

    Hey, What's the song in the background?

  • Alkiviadis Zournatzis

    Alright

  • Jennie Burke

    OMG
    There’s a big P-A-N-I-S
    In the bottom left corners
    On the chalk board

  • Angel G Corona

    Holy shit we watched this movie last year!

  • Isaiah Torres

    😂😂😂

  • akrem khosho

    Can you do more videos please I love them

  • Charlie Moore

    In year 5 we learnt about the body parts and when the teacher said pains and book if u know what I mean

  • Cypher

    I had to watch “The miracle of life” twice

  • Bliink

    My 6th grade health class teacher is now a registered sex offender not joking either

  • Mike Dowty

    0:59 P-A-N-i-S panis

  • BOYZ 2

    I start that unit tammarow I’m a 6th graver

  • Dj Bape

    Where’s blue waffles it’s an std

  • Laser Shawty

    The first comment be like:

    hE Always starts with “aLrIgHt”

  • superBowserkeyon jr

    Hi

  • superBowserkeyon jr

    I see a dick on the board

  • SquattingSlav

    1:37

    "blegh" -clamydia 2019

  • Ben Dover

    Yellowish discharge right in the panis who wants that in there life

  • Useless commentarie

    Panis

  • TokyoEthan

    We watched that same thing in 7th grade last year, im surprised it's that old

  • Twitcher Plus

    TinkerBleh || : Back with vengance

  • Elliot Birkley

    YO WHY TF DID WE DO THE EXACT SAME PRESENTATION?

  • JungleJoeOnMobile

    Health is boring.

  • gfff fgfgsfsfs

    Sometimes you have South Park worthy voice acting

  • Gunther Vladimer

    “Chlamydia I choose you! Go!”

  • Gunther Vladimer

    In High school and in Juvie I had Mrs. Candy (yes that’s her real last name) come over to give us the STD talk. She did the regular sex talk then pulled out the Slideshow. The green and purple vaginia with all these sickly discharge was the WTF moment. That wrecked me for awhile after seeing that. But I moved across the state to a SUPER SMALL vocational school with 200 students max in literally middle of nowhere. Closest Walmart was 3 hour drive away to explain. Mrs. Candy showed up and I had to see that slideshow of horror again for the third time with 20 other students. This lady worked in 2 county’s 1 was where I did 9 and 10th grade high school and the other at the juvie I went to in the next county over and randomly just one school outside those 2 counties literally over an Mountain range 300 plus miles away and then a damn 3 hour drive away from civilization to my vocational school. Like WTF and this lady was literally the only Sex Ed teacher in anyway shape or form had that particular slide show I later found out since I bumped into her years later when I was 2000 plus miles away from my state on vacation and bumped into her at a art gallery and remembered her and asked about that sickly green and purplish vagina and learned she works in a medical facility and ask her patients if she can take pics for her custom slide show she shows at Sex Ed classes she does once a year in two county’s and my vocational school. Life is weird.

  • Bri Aronson

    BEING A WOMAN WHO HAS A CHILD THIS WAS FUCKING HYSTERICAL 😂😂😂😂

  • GodZ

    Well full funktional is a bit far fetched

  • Sergio Benitez

    We saw this one in health as well. It caught us by surprise

  • Toki Susu

    I too watched that movie, not fully thank god. I suffered as well.

  • Mr Dragon Slayer

    For me it was called DARE

  • MCRPG

    It’s not a brewstew video until Tyler makes fun of Lindsay Lohan

  • Aiden Maloney

    Panis is that a mixture of you're aness an your pp

  • Cheezit Toasty

    He made a books with brewstew reference

  • Purple Justice

    There would be a start-of-the-year health class, and a end-of-the-year health class. End-of-the-year one was the most fucking weird ass one. That was in 5th fucking grade.

  • Dead Gabe the dog

    Health is fricking boring

  • Reelsteel Airsoft

    We just talked about sex and puberty today in health

  • The Gacha team

    I watched that movie

  • MCoolGuy 19

    Watched the exact same movie in health a few years ago. Nobody threw up. This is actually extremely accurate video too.

  • Bizarro Number 1 Bizarro Number 1

    Who drew the little penis on the chalk board.

  • CaillouFan

    Why have I only found you just now? You are amazing!

  • Kaidin Smith

    I have not been to a health class teaching about child birth, but We recently learnt about drugs, let year we did alcohol. And yes in 5th grade we saw a puberty video.

  • Samantha DeGroot

    oh my gosh, i think i watched this movie in my science class, y'know, my 10th grade gifted science class . its funny bc when the teacher asked "so, do you guys want to watch the movie?" literally everyone was like "oh HELL yas!" and my best friend refered to the fetus being birthed as "forbidden crunch" and it was fantastic.

  • Ava Wade

    Today we watched the miracle of life in health and the first thing I thought of when I was told we were watching it was brewstew

  • SergeIsToxic

    Did this guy work for the first couple seasons of South Park? I find it hard to believe if the answer is no

  • Gustavo Souza

    Panis weakness leaving the body
    -Soldier

  • Seven O.G. Karejwa

    What happened to micheal? Did he move away or something

  • JROC G

    "i hope that cameraman is wearing a poncho"

  • I Love You Beautiful Human

    I have Health Class right now

  • Gabriel Wunder

    Alright is the start of all of Tyler’s videos

  • Florida Man

    I bet brewstews first word was:

    “Alright”

  • Salvador Garcia

    I hate sex Ed

  • Ducky

    i remember sex ed

    i saw some bad shit

  • Dr. Butterscotch PhD

    0:37 is that David hasselhoff on the poster board 🤣

  • niko robinson

    Literally found this channel a couple weeks ago and it’s had me in stitches ever since 😂

  • Carl The Bear

    That teacher probably watches that movie every day

  • Commando Sev

    “My body’s changing? What am I a fucking animorph”

    -That one dumbass in the back of the class

  • Felix Kim

    3 best sounds in the fucking universe

    1. “ALRIGHT”

    2. “GOD DAMNIT

    3. “PANIS”

  • Hunter KC36

    My god they showed us that video last week in school I hated that God damn

  • sCOOOpy

    Our 'health ed' showed a woman giving birth. Not censored. I am now scarred

  • Superkai64

    "He's stapled a bunch of stds to the chalk board"
    Well hot dog

  • Tyler Hayes

    Anyone get the Animorph reference

  • Grace Young

    Best contraception advertisement ever.

  • Kimberlee Armellino

    P A N I S

  • Jonah Mobarak

    I giggled every time he says that word

  • Johnny Joestar

    This asian kid in my health class asked if a brother and a sister were in the same room in different beds and the brother has a wet dream and his pants are off and he ejaculates all the way over to the girl

  • Adan 2988

    I did do health. Before

  • Dave Macdonald

    My disease to do project on was syphilis and then made an ad or video on Why not to do cocaine

  • The yeet guy

    4:59 HA HA😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • Matt Matt

    I watched the miracle of life in health class as well😂

  • Gilbert Madrigal

    i think oh my **

  • Denise shugg

    Random six yr watching this vid mommy what’s aids and panis

  • - David

    Oh

  • Polly the Bird

    Dear people that write quotes of the video and put emojis SHUT HO

  • mathew jake

    Being drunk is gay because you can’t think straight

  • Steven Fleming

    I used to be a shrimp person?

  • Liz Wilkie

    PANIS!

  • Kid Conservative

    Yummy gonorrhea

  • Bryan BD

    3:19 Chlamydia I choose you!

  • Nighteye

    My class had to watch the miracle of life last year

  • Sleep team in burgundy Gacha life

    God I was laughing the whole video

  • Lunala Animations And Pokemon

    The Panis

    The Panis is just a word

    P-A-N-I-S Panis

  • Chicken EEK

    0:05 Donald trump

  • Tommy

    I'm so glad I was not here with tyler

  • Jake Everyone’s father

    5th grade we did the puberty video for our gender. 6th we did sex Ed and then the opposite gender. Because you know gotta know what going on with you friends when they fuckin like get a boner or there period.

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