Could I have made up my eating disorder? #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton

Could I have made up my eating disorder? #KatiFAQ | Kati Morton


Hey everybody. Happy Thursday. And today I’m doing an FAQ video. I gathered most of my questions this
time from katimorton.com And I also was on youtube answering
questions yesterday and the day before. So if you’re looking for your
question to be answered, I’ve gone through and answered. And I know a lot of you, And the great thing about our community, Is many people will know which videos
I have already created, And they can direct you towards those. So that you can get the
information that you want. So today I have a couple of
really good questions I think. Oh, and. I will keep mentioning this. I may put out a video that
is specifically to this. I’m going to be at vidcon. Hello. So if you haven’t got your tickets, Get your tickets. If you live in the Southern
California area. I will be there. And I am also going to Elgin, Elgin. I think it’s Elgin, Scotland. At the end of March for, I’m going to speak at the
Elgin Youth Cafe. I’m very excited. I’m going to be there for nine days. So I go, I come in, I think, on the,
leave on the 21st. And with the time difference I’m
not really sure when I get there. I think I get there the following day. And then I leave the next Monday. I think that’s the 30th. So I will be there for a long time. So I will be planning a meet-up. Stay tuned for that. To make sure, I know many
of you live in that vicinity. And it can be a train ride
or quite a drive. But I will be there for a whole weekend. So I’m sure I can set one up that will
work for many of you. Okay, without further adieu. Let’s get into the questions. Now the first question, It’s a very long question. I will put the full question
in the description. But I’m going to make it a little shorter, So you get the gist of it. For the video timing purposes. So the main question she says, ‘I wanted to ask you if it’s possible that
I made up my eating disorder.’ ‘I’ve had some struggles
for some years ago.’ ‘Because I started restricting my food.’ ‘But for me it was totally okay.
Sort of like a ‘diet’.’ ‘And I don’t have a clue why I started this
diet. Because I was already underweight.’ ‘But it felt very right at the time.’ ‘The behaviour was similar to anorexia
with restriction and exercising.’ ‘But not so much as other people’s,
not so obsessively days.’ ‘Some days I could even
not care about it.’ So she goes on to tell her
story about how this has, You know, come and gone in her life. And she was just curious, She says, ‘I’m not looking for an online diagnosis,
but my question is,’ ‘Can a person just imitate
eating disorder behaviour,’ ‘And confuse it with an eating disorder?’ Now someone in the community
had told her about my, ‘Disordered Eating vs. Eating Disorder’
video. And I would check that out. Because that’s kind of in root
to an eating disorder, When you have disordered eating. But, no. We cannot fake mental illnesses. We cannot fake an eating disorder. Yes, we can imitate some of the symptoms. However, the important thing to remember
is that it’s what goes on in our head. Did you start it because you
wanted something from that? Like, were you looking for more
attention from your mom, So you started doing these things because
she wasn’t taking you seriously. Or were you doing it, you know, For a period of time to get the
attention of your therapist. Or your teacher. Or whatever. Usually there is a purpose. Maybe an ex boyfriend, Who knows. But it’s not something that happened, And we’re using it as
things get more stressful, And we can’t quit. Even when we want to. And that’s just the
difference right there. Even if we’re restricting. And we feel like we’re kind of
‘imitating’ a eating disorder. The fact that she, this
person in particular, Says that, ‘I wasn’t even sure why
I started this ‘diet’.’ To me that’s like, Bom
[Light bulb noise] Eating disorder. Because, if you had a conscious
thought about it, And that’s why you started
doing that behaviour. And it was for a purpose. Then maybe I would tell you, like, I think maybe, you know, you’re
seeking attention through this. And that’s why you’re imitating the
behaviour of an eating disorder, Even though it doesn’t sound
like you really have one. But it sounds like you really have one. And if any of you out
there are feeling like, ‘Well maybe I am imitating, I dunno,
maybe I’m faking a mental illness.’ Chances are, you are not. Do you know how hard it is to fake
a mental illness consistently? You can’t do it. You may do it periodically for a
certain person’s attention. That would be when you
actually are ‘faking it’. But I honestly, I forget, I think they call it Malingering,
I think that’s the right word. When you pretend to
be sick when you’re not. And I don’t believe it’s even that
common in the States. I remember it being like
less than one percent. But anyway. It’s not very common. Chances are, if you think you are
struggling with something, you are. Everyone’s experience feels different. Don’t feel like yours has to be
exactly like somebody else’s. But reach out and get help. The more support we get, Even if we feel like
we’re maybe faking it. The more support we get around that, The better. Because usually we’re doing
things for a reason. And it’s good to find out
what that reason is. Okay. So I will stop rambling. Next question. Sometimes I find I ramble. I’m sorry. ‘Hey Kati, you and your videos are amazing
and have helped me so much, so thank you.’ Oh you’re very welcome. ‘I have recently been talking
to my school counsellor,’ ‘About my eating disorder and depression,’ ‘And many of the other
issues that I have been facing.’ ‘She assured me that all of the information
I share with her is confidential.’ Which is true. ‘But I have recently discovered that she
has been sharing the information I told her,’ ‘With my coaches, other
teachers at my school,’ ‘As well as calling my friends into her
office to get information about me.’ ‘How do I bring this up with her? And
how will I be assured that I can have a,’ ‘Helpful meaningful conversation
without worrying about confidentiality?’ Great question. Holy shamolies. I had to do this one because
I was like ‘What? Wait, what?’ And I read this twice, three times, To be like, is she serious? First of all. That is a complete breach
of confidentiality, And you could technically report your
counsellor to whatever board. If she’s a school counsellor, you’d have to
find out if she’s an MFT, LCSW, what she is. But it’s all under the Board of
Behavioural Sciences of your State. You can report them. Be like,’You are a jerk face.’ And that’s not, that’s not okay. Secondly. Everything is confidential up to a point. If she’s worried that you’re going to
harm yourself or someone else, We have to report that. That’s more like, we have
to call the police. Or we need to call your parents or a
close friend to take you to the hospital, Because we worry about you. Those are the steps that we take. It’s usually just take the
least evasive steps. Like the least sharing possible. To get your client’s needs met. So that’s ethically what I’m bound to. And also legally. Because I have to report it. And do something about it. But this is just, I’m sorry, this is fucked up. That’s just the truth. And I apologise to people
who don’t like that I curse. You probably don’t like any of my videos. But, this is just so wrong. I understand that she may have to
share, if she worries about you. I would bring this up with her. And I would just mention. I would say, ‘You know, when we first started talking,’ ‘You let me know that everything said
in here was confidential.’ ‘You know, I know that there
are some limitations to that.’ ‘However, I have heard from my coaches and
my friends. And some of my other teachers.’ ‘That you have been speaking to them about
that. And it’s just really concerning to me.’ And this is up to you, the ending
of this is completely up to you. You can say, ‘And I would like another referral
to see someone else.’ Or, ‘Can you explain to
me why you did that.’ And it’s kind of up to you whether
you continue seeing this person or not. Because, I honestly, If I knew my therapist was going
around telling everybody. It would be really hard for me to be
honest and open and feel safe. And that’s the most important
thing with therapy. So I myself, personally, would
probably try to find someone else. But if you feel comfortable, If she’s like ‘Oh no,’ And then she has a really
good reason as to why. Which I’d like to know why. Can you let us know why
if there was a reason. And you feel okay about it. Then you can continue seeing her. It’s your treatment. It’s your choice. But that is messed up. That should not happen. Especially your friends. Are you kidding me? What? Anyway. So, I’m sorry that happened to you. I promise not all therapists are
weird jerkos like that. We are good. There are good ones out there. We just have to search them out. But definitely have a conversation. Because that is against
your rights as a client. Okay. Now I had a journal topic. Thanks Lauren. She shot this to me, I think
probably a week ago. And I flagged it in my email. So I did not forget. So thanks Lauren. It was around Valentine’s day and I
know that that was a little while ago. But it’s still pertinent. And it’s still something
that can really help. If any of you out there are
struggling with body image. Depression. Self esteem issues in general. I hear this from you all of the time. So know that you are not alone in this. But this is a really really
helpful journal topic. And it’s writing yourself a love letter. And I will put the link in
the description to it. It actually came up on buzz feed. And that’s where she sent me the link to. And it’s a woman in LA acutally. Hello. I don’t know where she is. But she, every year, had trouble because
she was sexually abused on Valentine’s day. And so every time Valentine’s
day would roll around, She would have a really hard time
managing, kind of her PTSD, And all of the responses. And the memory of the fact that this was
the day that she was abused. And so instead of focusing on that. She decided every year to
start writing herself a love letter. And there are examples in this link. And there are all sorts of goodies. It’s such a cool idea. And it’s kind of cool to think about it
from, like an admirer’s perspective. Or something like that. And it can help us boost
our own self esteem. Because I know that there are
things you like about yourself. I know there are. If you are really struggling, think ‘What would my best friend say’ Or, ‘What would my mom say’ Or, ‘What would someone who loves me say’ And then you write yourself a love letter. And share them. Take pictures. Tweet them to me. Share them. Tag me on instagram All that jazz. I like to see all of your lovely work. Okay, I love you all. I will see you on Monday. And I’m going to be in Houston
this week in H town. What. Visiting my friend Lauren. I’m so excited. So if you want to know what I’m up to, Follow me on instagram
katimorton1 Love you all. Bye! Subtitles by the Amara.org community

Comments

(79 Comments)

  • Flint1545

    #KatiFAQ  Great video, Kati! All your videos are so helpful. I am a recovered anorexic (3 years and counting, wohoo) and I am now dealing with a lot of anger. I am angry that I went through years of hell and it started way before I even could consciously make informed decision because I was so young. I feel like I was "given" my eating disorder and this makes me so angry. I am partly mad at my mom for contributing to my ED (she put me on restrictive diets when I was 5 and 6 years old, called me fat a lot) but I am also angry at society in general….? I don't know how to put some closure over this anger or how to get rid of it. I am mad it took me so many years to finally live my life and find my "true" personality separately from my ED and feel like someone, or something, robbed me of additional happy years I could have had. What do you think?  

  • loving Adele loving Adele

    💟 your viedos x

  • deschroma

    Hi Katie! I have a channel on mental health issues (I have bipolar 1) You helped inspire me and I want to thank you for being a voice for us. I love your videos!

  • Shayda Swann

    Kati Morton is the bomb.com! Thanks to you I'm in therapy and making so much progress! You change lives <3

  • Maria Allen

    Thank you so much for this video Kati this really helped

  • nikki Gardner

    KATI !,I have recently been referred to CAMH's as "urgent" as this place is like therapy I asked if I would be going alone to which the doctor said not and that its also family therapy as well as for my depression and self harm , this has upset me beacuse I really dont like talking about that kind of thing in front of my mum and dad however beacuse I am 12 im not sure if I can go alone in England ,were I live . Is it possible to have therapy alone and for free if the is what they have referred me for ?(for free) or do u have to go only with my family also will I be made to keep goimg with my family as I will be the first time I go , even when I said no to the doctor they said I had to and I felt very forced into something I didn't want to do and it made me upset and angery , please help me with my situation anyone ,or kati please

  • CrazyRachel1984

    Great video, we love you Katie!!!

  • Tala Arida

    Thank you for making SOO MAANNYY things clear! I love youu♥
    I wish you were in my country!! 

  • RawSoul X

    #Q2 your counsellor is bang out of order. I wouldn't even bring it up with her I would go above her now and complain. X

  • kw326580kw

    Scotland in England 😃😃😃😃😃😃

  • Dancinginthedarkness xx

    #KatiFAQ
    Kati although there are a lot of people around me a lot of the time why am I most afraid of myself, I can't help it. I just get really anxious with the thoughts in my head all the time and my actions towards my body (self harm) you can't escape yourself right so what do you do? Thank you for all your videos they encouraged me to seek help from my doctor☺️

  • perpetuallyhumanable

    @Kati Morton AHHHH you are coming to Scotland!?? That is so exciting! 🙂 Are you going to have time to travel at all? Not that I am biased but it really is a beautiful country, I hope you get to see a bit of it! It's Elgin like the way you said it before you corrected yourself haha.It would be so great if you did a meet up  XX

  • macantakai

    Elgin! I've been there before 🙂 You were right the first time 🙂 x

  • Carla Brennan

    Whenever I feeling really 'distressed' I now make myself vomit sometimes I will just eat to purge after…. I don't know why I started but I am just wondering if it's just another form of self-harm or something more.

    Thank you for your videos they helped me through a really hard patch 😊

  • Esther Richelle

    Thanks Kati 🙂 xx

  • lauren7620

    Come to Northern Ireland?! Pleeeeaaaaase? 😛 Xox

  • lauren7620

    P.s…..i've had this with teachers and school counsellors too! When they swear they're confidential and can't tell anyone anything, and make you aware of boundaries but then go and talk to teachers and friends things that aren't even 'risky' or 'dangerous' etc. xox

  • lauren7620

    Also….sorry for commenting so much but what's the best way for me to get a journal topic to you? On Facebook, on here, or your website?? Xox

  • Bridget J

     
    Hey Kati, I've recently learnt how to do Mental Health First aid and I feel confident to help people who might be going through a crisis. Maybe in the future you could do a video on Mental Health First Aid. So people know what to do if they come across a situation. Thanks 🙂 Love your videos!

  • Laura Nuttall

    Kati, your videos have helped me for so many years now. I wish wish wish you were my therapist. You are wonderful x

  • catlover111able

    What your thoughts Katie on eating disorders and aspergers?

  • NakedQuark

    Good video, but people with eating disorder don't usually want attention.  It often is an escape or way to cope with situations or emotions.  Many hide their eating disorder.  I am a little frustrated that there is an assumption that ED are about attention. 

  • Kate P

    #katifaq I have EDNOS and I'm in a binge and purge phase. My question is why is there only one food I don't feel guilty about eating? It's pasta which is high carbs. I don't understand why I feel okay after eating them.

  • Alexus Gongora

    #KatiFAQ is there something wrong when you need to check if what's happening is reality often?

  • Eliza Frank

    hi Katie, 

    I go to therapy once a week and have been thinking about wanting to see the notes that she takes after the session. While I am a minor( 17 years old), I was wondering if i can even ask for her notes. Is it okay? or am i not allowed to see her notes. I think it would be beneficial for me to see her notes and compare them with mine(because i do occasionally write thoughts towards the therapy session when done).While i know that therapists are not suppose to give opinions to their clients, I am quite mature for my age. Basically i want to know if it is a normal thing for therapists to give their notes to their clients. 

    Thanks so much,
    E.Frank 

  • Alex Bailey

    From my experience, when I told my teacher she had limitations as you said to what she can keep confidential (self harm, suicidal thoughts have to be reported) but other then that nothing should be shared with anyone. My teacher may have told the Guidence office just so I have that extra bit of support but teachers and coaches heck no! I can see the the Guidence counsellor my want to give some clarity to those people but if she didn't ask your permission, then she's got no right to. My teacher told me and asked me when/if she told someone and that was okay with me. If I was in your position, I'd report her right away. That's is sick. Horrible. I'm so sorry you've gotta go through this. Stay strong!

  • femgirl07

    I love your honesty and openness…it is very helpful.  🙂

  • Neysta21

    Yayy I miss your regular Faqs!

  • AshGrant

    Yay you are coming to Scotland!!! That's awesome. So chuffed a YouTuber is coming to Scotland Yeah Elgin is quite far north so be prepared and wrap up warm haha ^_^ Having a meet up would be wonderful. Hope the event goes well and please keep us updated on when a meet up will be possible! 🙂 Would definitely be up for it xx

  • Becca .Boot

    It's Elgin with a Guh, not a Juh.

  • raccoon cutie

    hey, Kati what to do I do? I have recently relapsed in my self harm and Im really feel more comfortable with it. I know it is bad but there is a huge part of me that needs this so badly right now, I was just wondering would it be that bad for me to fall into my self harm for awhile just till I have the strength to stop?

  • Hailey Richards

    #katiFAQ I have no privacy with my parents especially once they found out about my depression and self harm. It makes me really frustrated and not want to talk to them about anything. I also recently found out my mom has been discretely emailing my school counselor about my issues and I just feel like I can't control anything on my own (which worsens my self harm urges) what do I do? I don't want to talk to my parents or mom about this because she's already nosy enough in my life. I just want your opinion or advice on what I should do? Thanks I love your videos you really are an inspiration!!

  • fadingintoastoria

    I actually really needed this. I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa last February, but have since gained weight and no longer meet the criteria for any specific eating disorder so I constantly feel like I'm faking having a problem with food. Somehow it's really comforting to realize that I'm not.

  • MinkeSchminke

    #KatiFaq  
    Dear Kati, I hope you are doing fine!
    I've been pounding over a question several months (almost years) now and I'd really appreciate to hear your opinion on this:
    In my  teenage years I've been struggling with anorexia for about 3 years. Although I've regained all the weight and even an uncomfortable lot more by now, i feel like I've never fully developed womanly features. I'm almost 19 years old and didn't have any breast growth at all. Nowadays I also suffer from severe depression and BDD which is partly linked to my distorted Body Image.
    Now to the actual question: What's your opinion on cosmetic surgery (in my case a breast augmentation) if the physical flaw seems to be related to a mental health problem? Do you think it would help the depression to get the main physical flaw corrected, or would it just be a quick fix?

  • Louisyed

    Damn I was hoping it would be the southern end of Scotland near the cities or something but it's all the way up north 🙁 I'm in England about an hour from the border but that's like a 6 hour drive away. Maybe one day you'll venture further south! Xx

  • Carly but really BATMAN

    I love it when you cuss lol. #justsaying

  • Rach Delve

    #katifaq, hey kati, what will happen if I keep refusing to be weighed? I'm from the uk so I'm not sure if the answer might be different as I've heard horror stories about people being sectioned if they refused to be weighted.

  • Eliza B

    Thanks for another great video 🙂
    That second question reminded me of when my old school counselor told several of my friends about some of the things I had been talking to her about. Luckily my friends already knew everything so it didn't really matter (but she had no idea they did), but it's just so wrong… 

  • darkstar2emo

    my school councillor told all my teachers i'm faking everything and called my mum and said i was making everything up (i later found out she did it to someone else as well) i now have a LOT of trouble trusting people like therapist's and gives me a lot anxiety about having to talk to people about it how can i get over this? it happened over 5 years ago and is affects me. 

  • Julie Anne Hurst

    Hi Katie, I have a question : can someone with and eating disorder like anorexic be a disordered eater?

  • Olivia C

    Can you come to Glasgow. I love your videos and the quality is great.

  • Katie Lamoreaux

    I have the same problems. I feel that my schizoaffective disorder must be fake, because I don't hear a ton of voices, but I get thoughts that arn't my own. My parinoia is crazy, but I just st don't know.

  • Abbie Miller

    Can u make your self believe that you have depression and you twist your mind into thinking you have it

  • Joanne P

    I heard you in Mental Health Happy Hour! You were great 😀

  • Princess Squishy

    Can you do some videos on anxiety disorders ie panic disorder and how to explain it to loved ones and how to explain mental illness to loved ones thanks love your videos

  • Princess Squishy

    can you also do a video on treatment for people with more than one disorder

  • Dancergirl1409

    Kati, what do I do if I'm not sure if I'm faking my mental illnesses? I feel like one day things are really bad and I can't walk away from the door because I keep having to check if it's locked, I get really hard on myself, and I get really depressed but then the next day it's a lot easier and I only have to check the door once. I'm starting to think I either am faking it or have bipolar because things go from really really great and having a ton of energy to not wanting to get out of bed and having no energy. Although I'm not sure if things like ocd would get worse during the periods of depression that's what it seems like to me. I can't see a therapist because of money but I just wanted to know if there was a sure fire way to know if I'm faking it or not.

  • Eli Jay

    Omg I want more info on you coming over to Scotland please I would love to meet up with you you know how freaking awesome I think you are!!! I am beyond excited if I do make it up it would be a 6 and a half hour drive but so worth it please get back to me ASAP please this needs to happen hope u are ok you are always in my thoughts love you!!!

  • Kayla Zirkler

    my school counselor keeps telling my teachers about my problems, too!!!

  • Janie Stevenson

    the first question was what i have been wondering for the last 2/3 years since i had around 8months of the habits non-stop of an eating disorder. But having 2of my friends suffer from it and get seriously ill i started to pull myself out. Since then i have been wondering if I'm exaggerating, that because i didn't go through such a rough experience i couldn't of been suffering. Now im the opposite from what used to eat like now ill either eat tons and feel shit after words or just not hungry for the whole day. I still have thoughts now and again that were similar to those i had in those months, im just so confused and ive just never told anyone really because im scared that if i told them they would be like thats not really an ED

  • Just Jordyn

    I have been struggling with binging, restricting, and purging for the past few months and it has got me starting to self harm…im glad that hurts cause that helps a little with keeping me away from that one… but sometimes i feel like no one will take me seriously if i tell someone so i am terrified to say anything. 😒 I was on a great streak, i had purged in almost a month, but then i purged last night and i am afraid that i wont be able to stop on my own nor do i think i should have to. Also i cant just avoid the routine cause i do it in the shower to hide any possible coughing or noise. Help.

  • Herb Herbert

    Your channel is lovely! Great work ^-^

  • miya logan

    This is a very informative video, thank you.
    Also it's pronounced the first way, gin sounds like bin, not the drink

  • Madelen Vådal

    My friend believes she may be making up her disorder. She has a purpose but the purpose isn't attention but she really want to be skinny. So she knows why she started it. Is it real? Or can it be that she is just imitating some of the symptoms?

  • Jessieboo xo

    hi katie, I've had a problem with eating for about 9 months and I don't know how to get help. I don't want people to think I'm attention seeking.im also very embarrassed to tell my perants what do I do?

  • Marlene Ribera

    I feel like there's tons of stigma and stereotype about how people with mental illnesses should act. If you're not immobile because of it than no one cares. I feel like a lot of people in my generation had parents who stigmatize mental illness as just a way to get attention. Whenever I felt depressed or potentially suicidal as a middle schooler it would be looked at as dramatic. This creates a vicious cycle for why people don't want to get help, you are convinced your whole life you are making it up.

  • Hannah Saxman

    I talked to my schools consoler and she told two students my private business involving something extremely private and embarrassing and I told my schools principle and all she made her do was say sorry to me and that was that. That was supppppeeerrrrrr cool.

  • Spooky Jim

    If I tell my therapist that I binge eat will they have to tell my parents? Like does that count as harming myself or will that be covered by the patient confidentiality thing?

  • Ryan Harrison

    Thank you so much for this video!

  • Jasmine Evans

    my old school councillor did that with every student she dealt with. she "retired" but everyone knows why

  • SillyWillow

    I started restricting to lose weight. I can't stop now, but that's mostly because I'm not thin yet. I don't know if I'm sick or just being overly dramatic at ths point. I'm so confused.

  • Britney Pratt

    Ok…so I have been having truble eating lately and I told one person my best friend and she told my consiler and she had me right what I eat all weekrdrd and she said I think you have a eating disorder I am going to call your mom and I talked to her and she said she won't tell my mom yet but for some resone I feel like this home eating disorder is fake but I can't stop it what do I do and do you think I have a eating disorder or do you think its just in my head ps love you and your vidios

  • Britney Pratt

    please read my comennt I need your help

  • Laura Yemmzy

    Please help. I can't deal with life any more I really want to give up on life. I keep pushing people away and I hideous

  • Daisy Woods

    usually its ednos if we can stop and start

  • Frigon

    is it common to have eating disorder behaviours because I wanna have control over my life and emotions? can that lead to an ED?

  • Ella Gigg

    this actually makes me feel better, I downplayed this massively to my doctor, and didn't tell him how much I've been restricting and he now thinks I'm not showing signs of any eating disorder but i have abnormal views around food I need to address. I restrict and before I eat anything I take diet pills, if I binge I sometimes overexercise. But I don't think I have an eating disorder because I don't feel like I feel bad enough when I do eat but its only if I eat something I hadn't planned for or I didn't want to I'd feel horrible. I sometimes try to purge until my stomach hurts and I give myself a headache. However my doctor did refer me to the adolescent mental health services so I could see a psychiatrist. Do you think I need to tell the psychiatrist about this? It doesn't feel like a problem

  • Chia Fairy

    I struggled so much with thinking if I am "faking" my eating disorder, for months I was absolutely sure I just did it for attention, until one day I realized that I hadn't told anyone. I had never talked to anyone about my weight, about my self confidence problems, about body confidence… Whenever someone around me said negative things about themselves I would always excessively defend them, if someone told me about better than mine but still bad eating behavior I would always encourage them greatly that it wasn't healthy and they should get help or start more healthy thoughts, I would hold huge announcements about how important it was to be healthy and not undereat or over exercise and how much more worth everyone had than something stupid as visuals…..so who am I faking my own illness for, when I made so sure absolutely no one would suspect anything at all? I build this huge persona around myself that stood for healthy balance and self love, to hide how much i hated myself and how much i did not want to feel any of those painful feelings that back then I didn't even really realize I had because I was sooo obsessed with rules and counting. But I just barely made it to an underweight BMI you know, and I feel like I lost weight quite slowly too, since I was still eating. I was eating, and although the last few months before recovering I really decreased my calories to an unhealthy amount, already when I counted up to a healthy amount I was completely ovsessive and unhealthy about it. I don't know what I want to say, just that it's really easy to believe it when you want to blame yourself for your ED… But that what keeps you from getting help… And that's what the ED wants…and it will tell you absolutely anything it needs to successfully manipulate you.

  • Maya Sullivan

    I started off by the urge to lose weight, is that an ED or a habit diet thing

  • Julliana Paulino

    I think I've made up my mental illnesses all of the time (and some people in my life even tell me that) even though my psychiatrist said I was "pre-disposed" to have some of them (I don't really understand that, and I don't know how to say it in English, so sorry)

  • K1tycat

    This is hard for me to say and I'm not sure I'm not sure that I can express it in a way that will be understood. I hope you see and respond to this.
    I have a strange relationship with food. When people talk about how much food there eating in a given time period or talk about eating more than 700 cal. In one meal. Or just have an argument or fight that involves food( not food prep). I freak out and have bad panick attacks.
    I tend to feel guilty about how much I've eaten but at the same time I worry I'm not eating properly.
    When I'm relaxing at home I feel I need to have both food and drink ready at hand at all times if I don't I'm not comfortable that does not mean I eat all the time just needs to be easily excesable(sp?) I sometimes like once every couple of months or when I have something important for example like psych or doctors apt. The next day I tend to binge to the point I throw up from eating to much.

    Do I have an ED or what?

  • Femke Elders

    3:40 so I went to my doctor to speak to her about my eating problems and how I didn't feel like I needed to eat and I didn't want to etc. And she asked me why did you start eating less. And I just didn't know why. My mom who was there with me said at the time i told her i wanted to just eat healthier but i dont remeber that.
    I always thought an eating disorder was because you wanted to lose weight or whatever but I didn't know you could also develop an eating disorder without an reason. If you get what I mean.
    I guess this was an eye opener for me. Thank you

  • Chelsea Mueller

    "this is fucked up" really caught me off guard. I want a therapist that cuss'.

  • xrysthol

    What if the purpose was to lose weight?

  • Yuri Takahashi

    Hello Ms. Morton, I know this is a video from a long time and so you might not see my comment but I recently came out to my mom about my issues with overeating and because it's been almost 4 years of struggle, I thought I should maybe see a professional but she told me that there are no meds to fix someone's eating habits so it's all about my self control. Do you still recommend seeing a doctor when you have eating issues or do you think seeing a counselor is a better idea? Thank you so much for your videos

  • foxiefair123

    You're so cute and sweet, so when you curse, it's really funny.

  • flora östberg

    just wanted to say that you obviously have a problem if you’re doing something like that just for attention, so if you’re considering seeking help but think you might be doing it for attention, you probably still need help

  • Natalia Flores

    Even you explaining that some people just want attention I'm thinking oh yeah that's me

  • skinnyjiminie

    I started restricting to lose weight and I just told myself that I would stop at the end. I want to be under weight and I don’t want to stop because I will feel like a failure and I’m scared of gaining weight. I feel like I’m just faking it for attention because I told two of my close friends but they might be close to forgetting. I want to be underweight so I will feel pretty and I’ve had a low self esteem all my life and tried to diet but failed all of them. I don’t know if I’m faking it or not, but it’s addicting to see the scale go down fast and restrict.

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