How to Deal With Depression


so often people have periods of their
life when they feel alone. This can actually occur on a daily basis or
weekly basis monthly basis or even annually but sometimes this low gets so
low that it’s literally called clinical depression and when that occurs people
look for solutions but the greatest solution from what I’ve observed is
actually from within looking for solutions on the outside is I always say
the last resort. Looking within and what you can do from within is what I’d like
to start with. Many times when people have quote clinical depression and they
are told that they have out chemical imbalances and things of this nature
what I actually observe when I work with people in this case is they really have
unrealistic expectations on their life sometimes on themselves and sometimes
the people around them. I even define depression, not as a disease, but actually
as part of the healing process because I define depression as a comparison of
your current reality to a fantasy about how you wish life would be and if you
have this expectation on yourself or others or on the world of general to be
something other than what it is you have an unrealistic expectation because the
way it is is the way it is and anytime you have an unrealistic expectation on
people to live outside their values or for you to live outside your values, you set
yourself automatically for the symptoms we call depression now anytime you have
an unrealistic expectation on yourself or other people you’ll have what I call
the ABCDs of negativity. You’ll have anger towards yourself or
them. Aggression towards yourself or them. You’ll feel blame or you blame them or
you blame yourself. You feel like you’re betraying yourself or them. You feel
critical they’ll challenge them yourself and you’ll feel despondency despair and
now depression but those ABCDs negativity are actually feedback
mechanisms for within you and your body mind to your consciousness to let you
know you have unrealistic expectations. So I don’t define depression as a
disease. I define it as actually your body mind’s feedback to try to give you
realistic expectations. The reason I say that is because when i work with people
in the Breakthrough Experience and other programs i do and i apply a series of
questions inside the Demartini method and I
actually ask some questions that calm down their unrealistic expectations,
their depressions lifts. If i actually go in and identify the downsides to the
fantasies or unrealistic expectations that they hold on themselves or the
people or on the world in general and stack up the drawbacks to the fantasies
and dissolve the fantasy and then write down and define the benefits of the
things that they’re experiencing once they’re back in equilibrium all of a
sudden they don’t have depression and they can’t even identify they can’t even
look for it or find it but it’s just not there because depression is a comparison
of your current reality to unrealistic expectations that you’re addicted to and
as long as you’re addicted to anything it’s a fantasy or that’s going to be a
benefit without a drawback or a peace without a war or a nice without a mean
or a kind without a cruel or any one-sided world when life has two sides,
the other pole, the depressive side, is there to rebalance you and to actually
give you a feedback mechanism to help you set realistic expectations in real
time, real goals and real values, according to what’s true. When the second we do that, our depression lives and we’re back into a state of gratitude and
appreciation for our own magnificence of the magnificence we’re surrounded by so
if you are having depression can i encourage you to look within before you
search without and to ask the right questions because the quality of your
life is basically quite of the questions you ask. So if you’re feeling a little
low or sad, or clinically depressed, I’d like to offer some practical things you
can do. The first thing to do is to stop for a moment and get really present and
think about what it is that you pressed out the most content-specific
you can get about what exactly is your are depressed about. The most powerful way to transform it can now emerge because first you identify what exactly you
depressed because in order to be depressed you have to be comparing
whatever is going on in your life to the way you wish it would be, or will hope it
would be, or fantasize it being. By identifying what it is you’re depressed
about, you can then ask yourself this question: So what are you comparing this
(your life) to? What do you wish would be there? What are you hoping it would be? What’s the expectation, the unrealistic expectation, or fantasy that you’re
holding on to? What is it you wish it would be instead of the way it is. And it
may be something in your finances, maybe something in your relationship. It may be
something in your health or any area of your life. But whatever that is, you need
to identify what exactly it is that you’re comparing your life to. Once you do, let’s
say you’re not having the money that you want. Or, let’s say that your relationship
is not as fulfilling or let’s say you’re expecting somebody to be there for you
when they haven’t been, or you’re somehow expecting yourself to be successful in
your business by now that you’re not. Whatever that expectation is, Once you
isolate the one or many components of that unrealistic expectation, of that
fantasy, then you can go in there and ask what would be the drawback if that was
real? Because a fantasy or an unrealistic expectation is an assumption there’s
gonna be a benefit without a drawback a positive that a negative a pleasure
without a pain a game without a loss and advantage without a disadvantage. But if
you go in there and ask in that fantasy, that unrealistic expectation, what will
be the drawbacks? What will be the pains? And bring that down by stacking up the
drawbacks. 10 20 30 even more in some cases. Until it’s flat. Until you can see
that it’s just as many benefits as drawbacks in the alternative to what
you’re experiencing. Once you actually balance that out, the fantasy that you’re
comparing your life to is neutralized and you’re spontaneously going to be
able to start seeing the benefit of where you are. Because no matter where you are in life, no matter what you do, there’s always a pair, benefits and drawbacks. So if you are expecting your life to be a benefit without a drawback,
you’re going to feel a drawback without a benefit in comparison. So by going into
the fantasies, the unrealistic expectations, the wishes that you had, and identify them, content-specific and ask what are all the drawbacks to each one
of those things that you’re expecting. And stack up those drawbacks until
you’re no longer addicted to it, no longer going, “oh I wish it was this way”. You
realize it would be just as many challenges as benefits at that time if
that was to occur, you will start to immediately start to feel the lifting of
where you are. You can’t appreciate where you are if you keep comparing it to a
fantasy. You can’t appreciate the benefits of life if you’re sitting there
holding on to a fantasy that has no drawbacks. So by coming up with the
drawbacks, you’ll start to see the benefits. Once you finish that, you can
now take the thing that you were so called depressed about and ask “so what are the
benefits of that happening in your life?” And when you bring down the fantasy with the drawbacks and you bring up the benefits to the thing that you’re experiencing,
and you flatline them and bring them into balance, it’s impossible to feel
depressed at that moment. In fact you’re going to be grateful. Your Heart is going to open up and you’re going to realize “wow, the way it is, is ‘on the way’ not ‘in the
way’ in my life and you can appreciate your life again. It’s a very powerful
process and as I said earlier the quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you ask. If you ask questions that bring balance to the mind,
you open your heart and you feel grateful for your life again. Now, if for some
reason as you’re doing this, you’re a little stumbling on the process and need
a little assist in on it, I can encourage you to come to our website DrDemartini.com and do one of 2 things. either contact us directly and we’ll find you a facilitator that
knows the Demartini Method on how to do that to assist you or come directly to
the Breakthrough Experience where I teach people literally how to do this process
for themselves so they have this for their life, so they’re not having to just
go through their life always depressed and living in this kind of bipolar world.
They’re actually in a state of gratitude and appreciation for their own
magnificence and they have a realistic expectation on life. I always say the
magnificence of the way life truly is, is far greater than any fantasy or unrealistic
expectation we’ll ever put on it. So if you are experiencing a low or depression,
please consider those possibilities and those action steps and call us and come
to the Breakthrough Experience so you can learn firsthand. You can email [email protected] or visit www.DrDemartini.com to talk to us Live online. Subscribe to Dr John Demartini’s channel by clicking top left. View Dr Demartini’s best webinar presentations by clicking top right.

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