Let’s Talk About Depression in Black Women & Girls

Let’s Talk About Depression in Black Women & Girls


– Hi, it’s Shelah Marie. I wanna talk about brown girl depression. It’s something that I
struggled with my entire life, but I think that I’m not the
only one in this situation. And I think it’s important
to open up dialogue because healing happens when
we connect with each other, and we share, and we let go. First I wanna say that I’m obviously not a medical professional. I do not have any clinical degrees or anything like that, so this is all my personal thoughts from my personal
experience and perspective. So, brown and black girls to me experience depression in a different way, in a unique way to me because culturally we’re defined as being
strong and resilient. And so when we’re faced with a situation where we just can’t drag
our self out of this mood, or we just can’t make our
self snap and be better, we feel guilty about it. We feel like something’s wrong with us, like we should have been able
to do that, and we didn’t. And there’s also not a
lot of structure in place for us to talk about it. Our friends don’t necessarily
wanna hear about it. Your family, “Oh, you’ll be fine. “You’ll be fine. “Just do this, girl. “Let’s go out and drink
and then you’ll be better.” Or whatever, you know,
and all of these things that don’t really, that are kind of like, you know, when you take an Aspirin, you don’t solve the problem. It’s just addressing the symptoms, so the problem is still there. And when we don’t feel like
we’re able to talk about it, and express it, there starts to be shame. And whenever there’s shame on something, I think that means that
we’re gonna keep it inside, we’re gonna hide it, and there is no healing
allowed from that place. A lot of times brown and black women suffer in silence
because we feel shameful, too shameful to come out about it. We feel too shameful to
talk about it publicly. And we also feel like
we won’t be understood, and people won’t understand
where we’re coming from because depression is a
serious medical condition. It’s a chemical condition in the brain. It’s really complex. You know, if you broke your leg, people wouldn’t tell you
to just fix your leg. They wouldn’t say, “Oh, just fix it. “It’ll be fine, girl. “Go get a drink, come back, “your leg be good.” Like no, people would tell
you to go seek medical help, like you need someone to
help you fix your leg. And I think depression
is in a similar way. Sometimes you need outside help. And so, in seeking outside help, another reason to me that it’s tough for brown and black girls is that traditionally there’s not a structure of mental health systems in place in the black and brown communities. Sometimes there will be a religious place you can go, for example, a church. But if you really need
something a step further, it’s sometimes a little bit taboo. It would be very embarrassing to say, “Hey, I think I need
to see a psychologist. “I think I wanna go get some
counseling for this and that.” Although that is not
my personal experience, I’m gonna be transparent because I was in counseling
since I was very young, and that’s something
that I am comfortable. I personally don’t see anything wrong with going to counseling. I’m lucky that I’ve been able to go, and I didn’t feel too much shame about it, but I have seen my peers experience it, and there have been times in my life when I have had that too. And so getting any kind of clinical or medical help is really difficult because we don’t sometimes
know where to start, and we don’t know who to ask, and who to go to. And again, we feel
embarrassed about doing that. I only speak from my personal perspective. And how I deal with depression is first and foremost, meditation over medication. I grew up with a mother
that was on medication and some kinds of psychiatric drugs, and I don’t personally like what they do to an individual. I do not like how they
effect a person’s mood. I do not like how they
change a person’s character. If you guys are interested
in what types of meditation that I am doing that have helped me, you can comment, and then I can put them in the comments, and we can
talk further about that. But to me meditation has connected me with the root of the problem, as opposed to solving the symptoms. And that’s something that has promoted a lot of healing in my life, and allowed me to experience
longer moments of happiness and fuller moments of happiness. And also check in with myself and be aware of the emotional
patterns that I have. So, when I see that old
pattern incoming up, I can stop it and be like, “Thank you, “but no, I’m gonna go in this direction.” Anything that you don’t talk about, that you hide, implies shame about it. So, release the shame, talk about it, share your story. Let’s take the shame off of it and let’s get some healing happening. OK? I love you. (laughs) No, seriously.

Comments

(39 Comments)

  • Bseroj Trbsr

    Isn't that just depression? I was depressed for a while and everything you described related to my experiences (with subtle differences). But I am a white male. I don't really think this affects black women differently to other demographics. Or at least any differences are negligible

  • guillermo de Rivas

    U r deppress, thats why u say brown girl, u cant even say black or. Woman depression…

  • Charles Lee Ray

    Should be titled, "Black Women and Dat Clown Hair." Bobo and Krusty give you props on that hairdo.

  • Diamond & Zander's TV

    I am in tears watching this because my depression has hit so hard this past week and I don't turn to anyone to talk because I feel like it's not something they want to talk about.. Besides that no one pays attention.. They don't want to hear about it which pushes me deeper.. It's just so tough going through this alone

  • derrik tie

    I think for u it would be half black girl depression….

  • Diamond & Zander's TV

    Yes please share the medicine that has helped you. I've gone through 6years of trial and error and still nothing helps..

  • Lawrence L.

    Depression is everywhere…we all Want More…money…success, looks, sex appeal, fashion, friends, family, society, relationships, home, security, health, education, social issues, religion, politics, values and ideals, etc etc, …nothing will ever be enough or perfect.

  • JS Warpaint

    A good thing to do in order to heal yourself and get out of bondage is whenever one is concerned about how others view them or think about them is to give to and be nice to others and think about what they are going through and what they may be concerned about stop focusing on yourself – smile, BE NICE to others, LISTEN to what they are concerned about, and enjoy them in doing this you will run across people who will stab you in the back others you will find are just assholes all the time what you need to do with those people is avoid them be nice to everyone and avoid the loosers. Of course the best thing to do is to have a relationship with Almighty God through his son Jesus Christ but for many people they think this is stupid and this is not even a consideration for them but that is actually the best thing to do in order to be free of the concerns you have about something. It is interesting that the sweetest people in general and most of the time but not always but usually are found in churches those people who go to church and love the Lord yet as fools we avoid them and hang around with people who do not know God and then wonder why we are made to feel like an outcast. Find a church though that lines up with the Holy Bible the Word of God.

  • Sir Jigaboo GnatBread

    If I had a head o' hair that looked like an electrocuted fern – I'd be depressed too…..

  • TurtleDude29

    wOw thIs vIDeO is RaCiST it SAiD thE woRd "BlAck" i CanT beLivE tHe SoCiEty we LiVe In

  • Cheffee Love

    Sounds like me an I’m a white female. I did visit with a brown psychologist who thought I was fine. One visit. That’s it. But yeah meditation over medication is great. Any kind of exercise helps too. Just keep busy doing happy 😊 good things. And prayer 🙏

  • Hold Guard

    The amount of depression in the comment section is just depressing

  • panathasg13

    Is anxiety and depression different in Black Women comparing to Asian or White?

  • asdf asdf

    My family has always been stressed out. Why would I throw my problems onto people that are always at the tipping point of a mental breakdowns themselves? Nobody has time for these problems. I feel like the terrible norm is to just keep going until it becomes the least of your problems.

  • TheGordy1950

    If I was as ugly as most black women, I would be depressed too!

  • ksj 0212

    I am a 68 year old white man, and I think this woman is beautiful inside and out.

  • randomsheep11

    I don't get how mental health issues can be linked as a "black/brown girl" thing.

    Most of these feelings mentioned relate to everyone.

  • John Smith

    Did you Just say, Brown girl depression?

  • Baby Nargacuga

    How about we walk about depression in all people because you know, these aren't problems special to black women

  • Oucendreux

    You're right, you're not a professional. And you should leave this kind of stuff to the professionals instead of acting like you know anything on this subject. Want to be listened to as an authority on what one ought to do? Then go get your degree. Until then, quit giving advice on a subject you know nothing about.

  • Jezelle Nelson

    I am so happy to see your video.  Black and Brown women need to understand they are still strong even if they have depression.

  • spamshit

    Why does it matter if she’s black and she’s talking about depression. Also when she said that black girls swifter from depression differently, I thought well yeah so do white people/ girls. Your point is? Everybody is different regardless of your color. This whole video in my opinion is bs.

  • Mink305

    Girl I love Positive Magazine meditations. I love her channel. Meditation has really helped me through some rough times. At first it was hard to do. But i've found that the stillness requires me to reconcile my trauma.

  • AngelD Creation

    Much needed video! Me and many family members suffer from depression but still people have no empathy for each other. It's become a who has suffered the most competition. I guess depression can make people feel every thing is worst for them! I now have a toddler daughter and I put my trust in God hour by hour to give me the energy and positive aura to get through each day. Please let me know what type of meditation and counselling you do. I am a single parent in England with only a drop of family support and I am so desperate to turn my life around. I wanted to get help with better help.com but couldn't afford it.

  • Eri G TV

    I’m going through it right now. I bottle the heck out of my emotions until they burst. I was just driving and didnt really wanna listen to music so I went to Youtube. The first thing I typed in the search bar was “dealing with depression as a black woman” And I know that watching a video, no offense, of someone who is not of color talk about depression I wouldn’t have been fulfilled with the information completely. I love you for this video, and it definitely opened up my eyes to meditation. New subscriber as well, I’d love to learn more about these healing mediation methods, because I do not want to be on depression meds. THANK YOU!

  • Krystal Vanhorne

    This video is so refreshing. I've been dealing with it for some time now, but have found meditation and watching what I eat to be the best tools for me. Thank you for speaking out about this.

  • Chocolate Thunder Cherry

    _Glad this is being talked about I wish I could find more information.
    I feel so alone , no purpose , & my life is passing me by. I wish I could heal instead of suffering in silence. I read a lot trying to ignore my problems but when the story is done ✅ I’m still silently suffering. 😟😟😟😟_

  • jamila workout lasker

    very good breakdown of what goes on in a blackwoman's life🙂

  • Zsa Zsa

    Where's the meditation links?

  • Aaron Johnson

    Saint johns wort,cinnamon, and pineapples assist with anxiety naturally. Lavenderand jasmine help promote calmness,put sone on your pillowcase to assist in sleeping and good luck on your journey and gd bless your endeavors

  • Midnight Velvet

    Solution one: get rid of ppl. The less ppl you have in your circle the better
    Solution two: get a pet for companionship. We can’t communicate with them but they can help us relieve stress

  • happy lindsay

    Thank you for sharing your story- you are speaking for a lot of us. And I respect your position on medication and although I am on meds right now- I think everyone out there needs to do whatever it is that keeps them alive and able to reach wellness.

    The biggest misconception is thinking the " Strong Black Woman " trope that needs to be deconstructed. Being strong does not mean being invulnerable to pain and thinking that having to suffer somehow makes the pain more noble. It doesn't. Every time we share our stories and create spaces that others can be seen and heard is doing healing work.
    You are not alone- and I guess that means I am not alone too. Peace and love

  • ingrid walker

    Clinical medication effects different people in different ways. Just because your mom had a negative reaction to medication does not mean that all will be affected in that manner. Its is very dangerous to advise anyone with a mental health imbalance to just meditate it away. Meditation may work well for you and thats fine; however, many people who suffer from mental health imbalance do not fair well without the benefit of prescribed medication. Depending on the individual, going off meds or not taking meds at all can lead to very dangerous and harmful events including suicide. It is important that we do not add to the already existing stigma that surrounds mental health diagnosis by implying that prescribed medication is not a helpful or necessary treatment for it. That's just as irresponsible or insensitive as some saying… Lets just go to church and pray it away or…all you need is to go out and have some fun and a few drinks. That will snap you right out of it.
    These are examples of some of worst adivice one can give to a person dealing with a diagnosed mental health disorder.

  • Steven blade

    This has been going on with me for years and i have a dark complexion i dont even show my face on the internet im the oldest and my sister has been the strong one of the family.

  • Nikos V

    people are a little shocked that a good looking person such as yourself can have depression but there are different underlying causes and it can happen to anyone…

  • NY1Lovee

    ❤️ Thank you

  • Hood Astro Queen

    ❤️❤️💜💜💜

  • Nyoka Le Nubian

    What about just being neutral about how you feel? I think chasing the high of happiness is a low key problem too.

  • Lamar Avery

    Thank you goddess for sharing your experience

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