Live a Happy Life Without Depression

Live a Happy Life Without Depression


Today we are talking about how to be happy. I don’t think, I’ve never experienced being
taught this anyways, maybe my parents did a sucky job, but I’ve never been taught how
to be happy. I had to learn in the past couple of years
how to be happy. I want to go ahead and share what I’ve learned
and hopefully I can help someone out there that is in need of help like I was. First thing on my list is to get professional
help. There’s a stigma out there that it’s like
a bad thing to talk to a therapist or counselor or something of the like. I do think it’s gotten better over the years
especially recently I feel like more people are talking about mental health issues but
the stigma still there. Personally, it’s the best thing I’ve ever
done, it’s the best thing I ever decided, I feel like it was the most responsible thing
for me to do at the time. And I was able to talk to someone that wasn’t
in my personal life, she provided me amazing tools and knowledge to then help me help myself
in the later future. I know a lot of the things I was unhappy about
were things that I couldn’t change whether they were things or people they were not changing
as much as I may have wanted to, as much as I stomped my feet for them to do so, they
weren’t changing. That’s where I had to look within and figure
out what I needed to change to make myself happy and that’s where therapy came in handy
because I was able to not only learn skills and tools for me to use in my day-to-day life,
but I was also able to really change my perspective on a lot of things. Number two is self-awareness. I feel like I talk about this so often whether
it’s my on my blog or videos here or any future videos, I’m sure this won’t be the last time
you hear me talk about this because I think it’s so important. Self-awareness is really just understanding
your emotions and feelings and understanding how those emotions and feelings and impact
your behavior. Understanding that connection is huge because
you will save yourself a lot of heartache or a lot of trouble in interacting with other
people or handling information, you will be better able to handle difficult situations
once you are self-aware. And really you also begin to start reading
other people better you’ll begin to start making connections of other people’s emotions
and how it impacts their behavior and then you’ll be able to act accordingly to make
the most peaceful outcome for example. So, I’ll link some self-awareness books down
below that I really like. Tip number three is to stop cherishing opinions
and start surrounding yourself with positive people. A lot of the times we’re unhappy is because
we are thinking of how other people are perceiving us, we need to stop cherishing so much other
people’s opinions like it’s … I know it’s difficult to do but at least be conscious
of it. I really do think about your vibe attracts
your tribe, you are more likely to have positive spirits and being a happier state of mind
if the people you surround yourself with are just like that or similar to you in that way
so there’s some people in your life that you need to cut out for your own good then please
do so and if you don’t have positive people around consume positive content like this
or read books in general just search for positivity, look for the positive in things or pick up
some habits that you haven’t done before. Number four, one of the first lessons that
I learned through therapy that kind of slap me in the face because I didn’t realize how
much I was doing this and that’s taking things personally. I would take things personally so much and
it would make me so unhappy. Through my therapist, Sally High you’re amazing
if anyone’s living in the Orlando area I will link her stuff down below she’s just amazing
like she opened up my world to so many things, so grateful for her if you’re watching this
hey Sally. There’s no such thing as one reality. You know people want to say “the real world”
or “in reality blah blah blah blah blah,” there’s no one reality everyone’s perspective
is different. Everyone has their own reality. Once you really take that in as a fact you
start to think of situations where you did take things personally and you begin to question
yourself like why the heck did I take that personally. Say for example, classic you’re ugly, someone
says that I’m ugly what does that really matter that’s their perspective, that’s their view
on the world they may very well think I am ugly they have their likings whatever it is
whether they were just trash talking just to make me feel horrible about myself or they
really genuinely think I am ugly that is okay I am not for everyone, it seems so silly to
get offended by someone else’s reality. It’s not my reality so why does it matter
to me what your viewpoint about myself is, does that make sense? And it’s kind of bizarre where we care so
much else’s viewpoint when it’s just their viewpoint, it’s not fact. And really it just speaks to them and their
character and their viewpoint you know if someone just really blurts out I’m ugly what
does that say about them as a person doesn’t really say much about me, if anything. Or say your parents are really giving you
a tough time whether it’s with school or your life choices your decisions whatever it maybe
you just feel some sort of pressure from family, parents whoever, try not to take it personal. Instead, try to think of why they may perhaps
have that perspective or fear because that’s what it really comes down to if you’re feeling
pressure from family members, people close to you they say something where you get offended
more than likely for them is stems from fear. More often than not, I don’t know if I can
say 100% guarantee, but pretty darn close to 100% what someone else says about you it’s
actually not about you at all, don’t even you know stress yourself out about it, laugh
it off do whatever it is you need to do, brush it off. And you’ll get the hang of it with time, at
first you have to be really conscious of it and try your best not to get offended when
people say certain things about you, with time its going to come natural like nothing
is going to affect you at all. My fifth tip on how to be happy is gratitude. I mentioned this in my how to get over a breakup
video which I will link down below or have an i-card somewhere here and it’s sucky to
think about but, in order to be happy one of the things that I’ve done is really put
in my head that people have it worse. Whatever funk I’m in, whatever it is I’m going
through I just think to myself Mary there’s worse things out there gain some perspective. It’s tough to think about and there are times
where I get overwhelmed by all the horrible situations that are going on in the world
but if you really want peace you have to come to peace with that fact. Number six is to be selfish. Selfish has such a negative connotation to
it and I feel like that needs to change. It’s okay to be selfish, you should worry
about you first. I am guilty of being a people-pleaser, always
have been. I’m working on it but we just got to stop,
we have to start really taking care of ourselves and figuring out what that is and hey if helping
other people out and doing things for other people make you genuinely happy, make you
truly happy then do that do that forever now if you feel like you are helping or doing
certain things in your life just to please people and it’s not actually making you
happy instead its actually affecting you negatively then you need to stop you need to take a step
back and focus on repairing yourself and finding out more about yourself. Tip number seven is meditation. Meditation has literally saved my life so
many times. It puts me at this ease, it puts me literally
in peace. It allowed me to calm myself down which I
was never able to do before. I thought it was normal for thoughts to keep
running in your brain, I felt like my brain was always talking talking talking and I thought
it was normal I thought your brain can never stop, it just keeps going. And I was able to really stop that mind chatter. If I’m ever feeling stressed or anxious about
something I can get to a place of peace on my own and I was never able to do that before,
I didn’t know how to do that before. I will link my meditation for beginners post
that I wrote a while ago down below if you go interested. There’s a lot of misconceptions about meditation
if it’s difficult, you do this, you don’t do this, I think it’s worth a try at the very
least it may not be what you think it is. Number eight is be accountable, don’t be a
victim. In order to really be happy, I realized I
just need to think everything is my fault and it’s not to put yourself down or two give
yourself a pity party but it’s really to take accountability. It seems strange but I promise, once you start
to take responsibility for things in your life and it may not make you happy at first
initially but truly taking accountability makes you realize that you are in fact and
in control of your life, no one else is, you are not a victim and you can change things
about your life if you really want to. I understand everyone come somewhere different
background and has different stories or may have certain limitations in their lives, I
understand that but put it in your brain that you are not a victim and you are in control
of your life and see what happens see the changes that you can do once you truly believe
that you are in fact in control of your life. My ninth tip on how to be happy is to let
of attachments. A lot of unhappiness also stems from ideas
of things that we want or desire that we don’t end up getting whether that’s materialistic
things or people let’s say, just ideas of things that we are so attached to and want
so badly for ourselves and when we don’t get it, we are so disappointed and that causes
our unhappiness. We have to really uncondition ourselves from
all of these attachments that we have been conditioned to want or desire. The first step is really a recognizing that
you have been conditioned to think this way, once you recognize that you will be able to
uncondition yourself so to say. A really good book for this I love is the
Tao, I will link that down below as well it’s a really quick read but it gives you an idea
of what I’m talking about. Letting go of attachments can be a pretty
deep topic so if you want me to do another video on something like this please let me
know in the comments below. Tip number 10. Now this last one is something I’ve definitely
mentioned before and I will not stop mentioning so if you’re tired of it I’m sorry but I’m
not really sorry and that is practicing unconditional love. Not only will you be happy from doing so but
it will affect other people as well. And that’s all I have those are my ten tips
on how to be happy. If you like this video please give it a thumbs
up it really supports my channel and click the subscribe button if you haven’t already. If you have any questions or comments please
don’t hesitate to contact me as always thank you so much for your attention I know there’s
plenty of things you can do and watch, the fact that you decided to hear me really means
the world to me thank you so much again for watching and I will see you in the next video.

Comments

(2 Comments)

  • Great Vibes

    Practising gratitude is a great way to be happy. Especially when you do it in the morning. You're starting off your day strong. Thumbs up for the video

  • tiff_bara

    Great tips! Especially meditating and not taking things personal.

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