Mental Health: A Conversation (ft. Gabbie Hanna) | Doctor Mike
– You’re getting 9 P.M. Gabbie tonight. – Okay, is that special?
– Usually they get like, noon Gabbie.
– Oh my god, okay. – No just like, less obnoxious. – Oh, now you guys know the backstory. Welcome to another Ask
Doctor Mike Episode, I have the lovely Gabbie Hanna with me today.
– Hi guys. – She does amazing work on her channel, talking about all sorts of experiences, trying some dieting stuff,
doing lifestyle videos, – Yes. – You even have a music
video that was like, crushing the charts this year? – Yeah, that was cool. – That was awesome, wow. – And a new one coming up! – Ooh!
(clicks tongue) What’s that one called? Or are you not really–
– Monster. ♪ Maybe I’m the monster ♪ Yeah it’s actually a
super mental healthy song. – I love that you’re
talking about mental health. What inspired you to do that by the way? Like I’m curious. – I just suffer with a lot
of mental health issues and I’ve always been really
open about it with my followers, and I found that it was like–
– I’m sure people are grateful for that. – I hope so, but I actually
found that once I started talking about it, because I
tried to hide it for long, that’s when I started healing,
and now I’m in such a like, healthy, happy, genuinely good place. And it wasn’t until I
started talking about it, and just kind of ripped myself
open and gave it to the world that I healed.
– What was the response like from the community? – It was great, I mean first of all, the YouTube community, who
started talking to me about it, was like, thank you so much
for talking about this, I’ve never been able to
but you put it into words. And then obviously there’s
so many people out there that relate to like
anxiety and depression, and eating disorders, and
then they were seeing somebody who they kind of looked up to,
suffer with the same stuff, and I don’t know, I just, I’m hoping that it’s starting a dialogue a little bit with it.
– I think it is. – Because people don’t
talk about it enough. – I mean, I just watched
your recent video, on sort of the psychology
behind social media stars. – Yeah, yeah, yeah. – And I really related to that a lot, because when I first
started doing Instagram like five years ago, I
was a huge narcissist, and I didn’t grow up being a narcissist. It made me that for that time period because I would go around showing people how many followers I had, how
many likes I got, just like, everything you talked about.
– It gets to your ego. – It starts becoming an addictive process, and just,
– Well narcissists aren’t born they’re made. – Okay, I mean that’s a, yes. – For the most part. – There’s definitely a genetic component, there’s definitely a nature component, so your environment.
– There’s always like a, a predisposition, but for the most part, I was actually watching a
psychologist talk about this. Where narcissism is one
of like the very few mental disorders where
it’s almost entirely how you were raised, as
opposed to being born. And that’s the difference
between psychopathy and sociopathy too, is one
is born and one is raised. There’s–
– Sure. Yeah I mean look,
– Everyone is weird. – I’ve seen it debated both ways. – Yeah. – And I think there’s definitely room for nature verus nurture discussion. – Yeah, you’re the doctor, I’m not gonna debate you
on it at all. (laughs) – No, no! But it’s not about debating it, I don’t claim to be an expert at it. I’m looking at things
from the clinical side. – Yeah. – I do some research on my own, but I have a lot of
experience in treating people who have some mental health issues, obviously physical health issues, because that’s part of what I do, and a big thing that I’ve noticed is, there’s been a huge uptick
in anxiety symptoms, depressive symptoms.
– Yeah. – And, in making some
of the YouTube videos that people are making on the
subject, I get a little upset. – Really? – Yeah, I’ll tell you why. Like the difference between let’s say a narcissistic personality trait, versus a narcissistic
personality disorder. – Oh please, go off Doctor Mike. This is so important, I already
know what you’re gonna say. Please go off. (laughs) – Yeah, well no, no. Like, they sound incredibly similar, and when you’re talking in common tongue, you’re just saying narcissist, right? You’re not defining them.
– Yes. – But in reality, there’s a small, but very important
difference between the two. So you can have a narcissistic
personality trait, and be totally fine.
– Which almost everybody does. – And have success, and this and that, to a degree, everyone has
it to some sort of degree, I guess you could say. But then if you have a disorder, that means it’s gotten so
bad that it’s affecting major aspects of your life functions. – Right. – We’re talking about work,
your ability to sustain a job, sustain a relationship,
achieve happiness in your life, and wellbeing, creating a
lot of anxiety, depression, that sort of thing.
– Right. – So there’s people that
are raging narcissists, and exhibit narcissistic
personality traits who are very successful and
don’t have the disorder. – Right. – But when you, I watch
some of these videos, everyone’s very quick to
throw out these terms, because they’re using
them in plain English, but from a medical side,
it’s a little inaccurate, and a little bit disingenuous, because people are
getting labeled too soon. The idea of mental health,
and the whole concept of mental health is so
complicated and confounded, even when you’re talking
about sociopaths, right? That was a big subject on your video. – Yeah. – So sociopaths, in medicine, we don’t even have the term sociopath, we have anti-social personality disorder. – Right.
– Right, you studied that. – Yeah. – And when we’re talking about
labeling people sociopaths, we need to be very
careful, because if someone is under the influence
of drugs, let’s say, whatever they’re taking,
they could be abusing Adderall, or they could be
using cocaine, or marijuana, or alcohol, and they’re
acting a certain way because they’re under
the influence of drugs, you can’t really call them sociopaths, or having antisocial personality disorder, because are they just doing that because they’re under the influence? So they could be showing
sociopathic tendencies, and not be a sociopath. – For sure.
– And again, very small difference, but very important. – Right.
– Because it’s very easy to get labeled something,
and have that label stuck with you incorrectly, your entire life, and unfairly.
– I think it’s also important to not try to diagnose people,
A, if you’re not a doctor, – Yup. – And B, if you’ve never met that person. Like you can’t look at
somebody’s YouTube videos and say what they are
– No! – and what they’re not.
– Please, yes. We need to highlight that.
– It’s so dangerous. – So it’s not even about, you can’t, even by meeting somebody, you can’t. Like I need multiple visits
to get down to the bottom of what’s bothering somebody,
or why they’re having some difficulties in their life.
– ‘Cause people act differently in also like,
different social situations – Yes!
– where if you’re like, a young kid who wants to
get attention and feel big you might go to school
and act a certain way, but at home you’re actually
a really compassionate– – Yeah.
– Loving person. – Yeah, so think about a person who suffers from bipolar disorder, for example.
– Right. – And then to sort of
self-medicate, they use all sorts of substances.
– Right. – This is a hypothetical example. Now that person, because they’re having extreme mania times,
which they’re very hyper, and they’re also using
drugs at that point, they can exhibit all sorts of tendencies; narcissistic tendencies,
sociopath tendencies, but they’re not any of those things. – Yeah. – They’re actually suffering
from bipolar disorder, and substance abuse disorder. Which, are two different things,
but in order to get there, imagine a person doesn’t come in, they say I have bipolar disorder. – And I drink every day! – Right?
– Right. – That’s not it, you have
to get that person’s trust. – Yeah. – You have to hear them
out and hear how they, what their thought process is like, where they’re having difficulties in life, how they view certain situations. – And their family history,
and how they grew up. – Exactly.
– Yeah. – So, I incredibly dislike when people start diagnosing people, just either from their YouTube channel, or from meeting them once or twice, ’cause it’s just inaccurate.
– Yeah. – There’s gonna be faults and you’re gonna unfairly judge people– – But even if it is accurate, it’s– – Yeah, like what use are you doing, unless you’re doing some proper education. – Yeah.
– So that’s my thoughts on it. I just think people
need to tread carefully in this territory,
because labeling people, I know people that get very wound up when I say labeling, right? They’re like, oh I don’t wanna get labeled that I have bipolar disorder. Look, you have a diagnosis,
– A diagnosis, yeah. – It doesn’t mean that anything is quote, unquote bad about you. It just means that you have something going on that we can help fix. – But that’s also why
we need to talk about mental illness more because obviously, everybody knows about the
stigma around mental illness, where it’s like embarrassing to be told you’re borderline personality, or have bipolar,
– Of course, very difficult. – Or something that’s
just a treatable illness that you need help with,
and people are so ashamed, and I just think that’s so sad. – It’s sad, it’s a very
difficult situation because emotions–
– And it’s dangerous, because it deters people
too from getting help. – It deters people from getting health, it causes substance abuse disorders ’cause they’re trying to self-medicate without exposing themselves to others, so the more open we can be about it, and honest in these conversations, that’s why I don’t like labeling people too early.
– Right. – Have the conversation
with your doctor first, and then figure out where it goes. But then something I’ll also say against the medical community, against my folks, is that we often jump
to a diagnosis too soon, both mentally and physically. The mind can really be divided into two sort of areas.
– Right. – You have the conscious
and unconscious mind. Conscious is everything
you’re thinking about now, you know, whether or not
you wanna pick this cup up, that’s in your conscious.
– Right. – And in your subconscious
is everything that, your baggage from childhood, you know? What are you upset about
from an inferiority complex, worries about being perfect in your life, wanting to achieve the
best result possible so that you can prove someone wrong, like, you’re not actively
thinking about those things, – Right.
– but they exist in your mind. – When you have very powerful emotions, that starts stacking
up in your unconscious, that you refuse to acknowledge, if you consistently repress them, which your mind wants to do, why? Because if they come out,
you’re gonna break down, you’re gonna start crying,
you won’t be able to work, you may even hurt yourself. So to protect you, your mind
does a few interesting things, and one of those things
is it gives you symptoms. Symptoms like anxiety. If you think about what anxiety is, let’s take social anxiety, it’s a fear of something that’s not actually
life threatening, right? Like if you go hang out with friends, no one’s gonna kill you, I mean, unless there’s a crazy circumstance, but generally no one’s gonna kill you. – Where’d you grow up? ‘Cause my town–
– Brooklyn. (Gabbie laughs)
Yeah, I don’t know, so maybe. But in general, no one’s there to harm you with your friends.
– Yeah. – But people that have social anxiety create an anxiety, their
mind creates this anxiety. And it doesn’t mean that there’s
something wrong with them, their mind is protecting them, by causing them to worry
about that social anxiety, instead of their repressed emotions. – Yeah.
– Because those seem to be so dangerous, that
let’s have them worry about something not so dangerous instead. But it also does the same
thing from a physical aspect. Let’s have this person
have a muscle spasm, and have some back pain right now, – Oh wow. – And they’ll be thinking
about their back pain, how to treat it, what doctor to see, they’ll complain about it, and they won’t be thinking about their
repressed emotions. So when I starting doing my practice– – You think your repressed
emotions cause muscle spasms? – Yeah, absolutely.
– Whoa! – Not just muscle spasms,
there’s been research done on this that some of
these repressed emotions can go into the form of acid reflux, chronic cough, so many unique things. – These are all my issues.
– Allergies, rashes– – I feel like I’m reading
WebMD right now. (laughs) – No, no, again, I’m not
saying that repressed emotions are the source of all your problems. – No, I get it, yeah. – What I’m saying is,
’cause this started off by me saying how the medical community’s at fault a little bit,
– Right. – And what I was saying is
that the medical community’s at fault because we’re
often quick to just say, there has to be some
kind of cellular process that’s going on, that’s wrong, or there has to be some
sort of muscle spasm, or broken bone, or an impinged nerve, some kind of issue–
– But it’s really coming from like, your mind. – Yeah, so what I do with
my patients is first of all, I rule out a physical cause, that’s the first thing that I do. And a medical cause obviously like, if you have something
wrong with your thyroid, that can cause some
issues with your muscles and all these things.
– Right. – So, everything medically and physically, I try and rule out first, the
most dangerous things first, and then move down the line. Once I realize everything’s fine, and we try some conservative therapies, like physical therapy, some
home exercise programs, stretching, icing, that sort of thing, for physical pain, and
then it doesn’t work, or the pain fluctuates,
and I see that it has a very unique history
to it, where the person keeps getting these aches and pains, I bring them in, and I just
have conversation with them. And it’s a simple conversation about like, what’s going on in your life, what was childhood like,
it’s not very in detail, initially.
– Right. – And what people do, and
what they’ve learned to do is they repress their emotions incredibly, in ways that will surprise you. For example, I’ll ask a person, I think this would be
actually fun right now. – Okay. – I’m gonna do this with you on camera, but, hope you’re ready for this. – Are we about to go
into a therapy session? – No, no, no, we’re not going
to do a therapy session, but if I were to ask you
about your childhood, right. – Okay. – And you’d bring up a
painful memory of childhood. The appropriate response,
is if it hurt you, and you were upset by it,
would be to cry, right? But your brain doesn’t want you to cry, ’cause you’re on camera,
there’s a person here that you don’t really
have a familiarity with, so what your brain does is
it encourages you to smile. How often have you heard people talk about a very painful thing
that happened to them, but they smile while they do it? – That’s like my M.O. for sure, yeah. – So that is a form of repression. And me, as a doctor,
when I see this happen, all I have to do is ask the person, can I interrupt you for one second? Tell me right now, you’re telling me a very painful story, why are you smiling? And people break down. They start crying, they
understand that these emotions are very powerful, and
they’ve never appreciated– – I’d start sobbing right now. (laughs) – You look at people like,
folks like comedians, who are very funny,
they have a high amount of mental issues.
– Oh yeah, they’re so dark.
– When we’re talking about anxiety, and depression,
and all these things, because comedy’s a great outlet for that, same thing with smiling.
– Yeah. – Another thing I hear people say is, yeah I had, a probably
a messed up childhood. They’ll say words like that, where they’re sort of mitigating, they won’t–
– They don’t wanna like, admit it fully, yeah.
– Yeah, so they’ll keep using these blocking words, and they’ll say probably was a bad childhood, or drinking was probably
hurting my marriage, and I’ll have to stop
them and I’ll say, okay, honestly right now, was
drinking hurting your marriage? And they’ll say yeah it was, I’m like, so stop saying probably when
you’re telling the story. And just having that, having
them connect to their emotions, becoming mindful, helps a lot.
– Yeah, yeah. – I’ve had patients completely
cure their back pains, their elbow pains, their
acid reflux symptoms, just by connecting them to their internal thoughts and dialogue. Because life forces us to repress, and sometimes that repression is needed, ’cause like, if you’re in a
job interview or something, you can’t just start
sobbing about something that happened in childhood.
– Right. – So sometimes you need to repress, but at other times we need that outlet, we need that ability, so
what you’re doing on camera, I’ve seen even videos
of you crying, right? That exists.
– So many! (laughs) There’s so many!
– No, but that’s powerful, right? And you said this–
– I get a lot of hate for that people get really mad at
me for crying. (laughs) – People shouldn’t get mad, what I, I think it’s good for you,
and you even mentioned it, that now that you’re happier
and healthier as a result. – Yeah.
– Even though you cried, is that you found an outlet for it. – Yeah. – And people find different outlets. – And honestly I will say,
I’ve had my entire life, chronic neck, back pain, so
many character, chiropractors, so many massage therapists,
trying to figure out why my neck is always slipping and all that,
– Sure. – And ever since I started
getting myself in check, and of course some of it came out with like training and stuff,
– Yep. – But I have so little
back and neck pain now, that I’m emotionally happy, and so open with my feelings, and I don’t,
– yeah, and nothing changed, right?
– I’m not embarrassed about crying, no!
– Nothing changed physically, right?
– No, nothing at all. – It’s not like you had a
surgery that fixed your problem. – No, I mean like, obviously working out with strengthen your
muscles and hopefully keep some things in place–
– Look that helps, but it’s not–
– It’s so mental. – Yeah, it’s mental
and what I notice a lot is a lot of these treatments that we do, like physical therapy,
acupuncture, injections, surgeries even, some of them work, they work on fixing the
symptoms temporarily, and then something new pops up. So first your neck hurt,
you got an injection, now your elbow hurts, then
your elbow gets an injection– – What injections are you talking about? – Well like steroid injections. – They do that? – Like anti-inflammatory injections. – Yeah, I never had
one, I never knew that. – Well people get them into
their knees for osteoarthritis. – Am I on your foot right now? Oh no. (laughs)
– No, no. – I thought I was just like, on your foot this whole time.
– All good. – Okay, anyways, go ahead. – So like, knee injections, whatever. So, people get a lot of treatments, and our medical community facilitates this because it’s easy. ‘Cause if I have fifteen
minutes with a patient, I can’t go and start talking
about their childhood, but I can say, oh well you have arthritis, that’s why your knee hurts.
– Yeah. – But why did it hurt more today, when you had a stressful
incident with your family, then it did yesterday?
– Right. – You know, so we have to be
aware of this mental component, and because of our time
limitations, we often don’t, because of our research funding not being put towards
mental health, we don’t. So I’ve become more and
more a proponent of this. I’m an osteopathic physician,
I’m D.O. not an M.D. I had a sports medicine focus initially, when I started treating my patients, I saw so many patients for back pain, and I felt like, I wasn’t
helping a lot of them, and now that I’ve started
using this approach, and I’m not doing anything revolutionary, I really just started having
honest conversations with them to connect them to
their, to their thoughts, to have them understand that
they may be repressing a lot, and just by opening that up,
opening those flood gates, they feel a lot better, and so far, it’s such a low risk option, the only risk is I spend some time,
that’s it, that’s really it, that I spend extra time with that patient, and that could probably
have benefits on it’s own. – I actually saw a quote one time, I think it was on Bates
Motel, of all things, but she was talking to a
therapist, and he said, “well why do you hold
that in?” and she said, or “why don’t people talk
about their feelings?” and she said, “because then
people would walk around “crying all the time” and he was like, “well what’s wrong with that?” (laughs) – Well, exactly. – Yeah. – Repressing–
– And obviously there’s a time and a place, but its interesting that people are so
embarrassed to talk about, like, a painful childhood.
– Yeah. – Because people don’t wanna
admit that they didn’t have some type of picture perfect life. – Well yeah, look, I’ve
seen it from all angles, being a doctor, I’ve seen
people who are so eager to share that story with anybody,
where it’s inappropriate, like, they’ll come up
to my front desk person and start sharing their childhood. It’s like, well we gotta know some boundaries–
– That’s also, there’s probably something there too, going on, yeah.
– Well that’s what I’m saying, so it comes from all different sides. There’s extremes on either end, and I try and figure out what
the most balanced approach is. And there’s a doctor, who
just passed away recently, is named, is Doctor Sarno. I read his book, it’s
called The Divided Mind. A lot of my initial thoughts
came from reading his book, and he gave a very funny example, and I think you’ll appreciate. He was on a cruise ship
with his wife, traveling. – Okay. – And he was having some
symptoms of acid reflux, like he was having an upset
stomach, and he never got that, he knew he didn’t have an
ulcer or any of these things, so he started looking internally, what’s causing me to have these symptoms? He couldn’t figure out,
but when he got home, all the symptoms resolved, like no more acid reflux completely. And he thought about it, and he realized, there’s an inner child in
all of us, called the id, you probably, Freud.
– Yeah. – When you studied psychology. And this child wants all
the narcissist stuff, it wants pleasure all the time, it wants all the attention on
them, it wants all the likes, it wants all the comments, that sin, doesn’t wanna do anything for anybody. But then we have this
other part of our minds called the ego, which keeps
that in check and says, well no, you can’t just
have everything for you, you have to help out others,
you have to do these things, then there’s the superego,
and it gets past that, but let’s just focus on the id. He realized that his id
didn’t wanna be on that trip, he doesn’t like traveling,
but he knew his wife did. So he was there for his wife, and he was doing that
because he wants to be in a healthy and loving relationship, and he was having acid reflux as a result. Then he thought, if I
came to this conclusion, and then started having this emotion that I would get mad at my wife, maybe it’s worth trading
some upset stomach to not be mad at my wife.
– Right. – So sometimes, repression actually works. – Yeah. – But my job, is to allow
you to have control over it, so that sometimes you wanna
repress, in a given situation like you’re on a trip with
your significant other, great, but on other times, where
you need to have an outlet, you know how to connect
to that side of things. That’s what–
– And then you cry on YouTube, and then get views for it,
– Look– – and then be encouraged. (laughs) – That’s a way that you
chose to make it yourself, and we’re all not perfect,
we’re all learning, my knowledge of medicine is limited, everyone’s knowledge
of medicine is limited. Like, we don’t have a
total cure for foot fungus, like toenail fungus. Isn’t that crazy? Like, you would think, like
oh we’ve cured so much, we can’t even cure toenail fungus. – Whoa. – So like, when I look at some experts– – Do a lot of people have toenail fungus? – Yeah, especially as they get older, and our immune systems
weaken a little bit. – Oh, I can’t wait. – That’s gonna be there
for you in the future, so be careful of nail salons,
only go to ones you trust. – I never get pedicures, just false manicures.
– You can get it on your hands too. – (laughs) Oh great! – But, that’s my biggest thing, why I have my YouTube channel, is because I try and
encourage people to understand that anyone who’s overly confident, overly promising that
they have all the answers, oh my god, this is like so good, we’re gonna be like spilling T right now. I can’t believe we’re gonna be spilling T. Did you hear about those YouTubers, I don’t even know their names, that claimed they were dying, recently? – No! – They’re some gaming
guys, and I saw briefly, they said that they were dying, and then someone called
them out on it, ’cause– – Well you don’t know who they were? – They have a pretty successful channel, – Were they big?
– Like four million subs. And they, they had
these four million subs, they said they were dying, it was unclear what they were dying from, but they said that they saw a doctor who said– – There were two of them? – Two of them, yeah.
– Both of them are dying? – At the same time. And, they saw a chiropractor, who they said cured them from dying. And someone called them out, and made a response video to them, and there was drama about it, and then– – Wait, they saw a chiropractor, – I know, I know.
– who cured their death? – But let’s try, let’s go in
judgment-free zone for now. – Okay, judgment-free.
– Yeah. So,
– Wait, I’m sorry they dying from like a tight back?
– It was unknown at the time. – Like what is going on?
– It was unknown at the time. And then someone called them out on it, and then they made a video
saying that they were proving that people, proving that they were dying. – Okay. – And they showed proof
that one of them was taking a lot of medications for what
looked like a kidney issue, or some autoimmune issue,
where the immune system attacks itself, back in
the day, they showed like, evidence of him taking those pills. It was very dramatic,
I watched parts of it, but the thing that bothered
me most about the videos, not that they’re talking
about that they’re dying, and they’re trying to get views, or whatever it is that they’re doing, because one of them
said that when he meant that he was dying, he
was saying that he was having such bad anxiety and depression, that he could’ve committed suicide, that’s what he meant when he was dying. – Which is a stretch for me,
– Okay. – Look, whatever anyone wants to put out about their own emotions
I support that their call, but what bothered me, is
they said that this doctor can cure anything. He has the answer to anything. That was a quote from their video. So them talking about them dying, – Wow.
– I have no, whatever they wanna do, go do it. – Do you boo.
– I’m not gonna even judge that ’cause I don’t know
their medical history. – I will. – All you.
– Okay. – But I don’t know their medical history, I need more to decide what that even is. – Am I getting myself in trouble? Like, are these people
gonna come and be like, we love this person!
– No, ’cause actually, a lot of people, no no no, a lot of people don’t like what they’re doing. ‘Cause they also they also like, give away iPhones on those videos. – Oh.
– Literally, they’re like, we’re dying but
we’re giving away iPhones, so follow us, and follow this doctor. – We’re checking their
social blade after this. – That’s crazy, they lost a
lot of followers after that, but whatever so, my biggest problem is that they said this
doctor can cure anything. Be wary of doctors that
say they can cure anything, or overpromise things.
– Yeah. – The smartest people in the world, will be the first people to
tell you that they don’t know. – Yeah.
– In fact, the more you study, the PhDs of the world–
– Well I don’t know shit, so I must be a genius. – Well, the fact that you appreciate that you don’t know a
lot, is a powerful start. Because as people study, and
you look at like high school, right, like you know a little
bit, then you go into college, you know more, and then PhD, comparison to how much you know, to what you think you know,
PhD drops drastically. Because as a PhD, you realize,
I’ve so many more questions than I have answers.
– Right. – And even the answers that we have, as PhDs, and Doctorates,
we know that in the future, those answers are gonna be proven wrong. – Right. – Like, initially we thought one thing, and then we totally
changed our minds about it. – Medicine changes so much. – Because we learn more about ourselves. – What would you say to people, because we’re talking about like, having an outlet and stuff.
– Yep. – So, I actually said
something in a video once, where I was like, I say
like, don’t let your pain go to waste, do something
creative with it. And somebody commented,
where they were just like, “I’m just like, not
creative, like I can’t paint, “I can’t draw, I can’t write,
like I’m not a creative, “artistic person, so what should I do?” And I was like, I guess I don’t know, if you’re not somebody
who likes sports or art, like, what do you do? – Well, I have a good
answer for those people, first of all I applaud you saying that, to get people an outlet, because
what you’re talking about is something I mention
a lot, it’s called PTG. – Okay. – You’ve heard of post
traumatic stress disorder, PTSD, right?
– Yes. – Coming home from war, if
you’re a domestic abuse survivor, you know, you have PTSD, it’s possible. But we hear a lot about
that in the news, PTSD, but you never hear PTG. PTG is post traumatic growth. It’s a person who’ve gone
through something horrible, some kind of trauma like war, like cancer, family member who had cancer, and they come out after
this traumatic episode, and they grow as a person,
they become better, they find an outlet, for their struggle. – Right. – Very similar to what you’re
talking about with yourself, like you said you were going
through some mental issues, and from that, you learned
and you became better, and you start educating
people, educating yourself, that’s PTG, you’re an example
of post traumatic growth. – I’ve never heard that term. – There’s no, it’s not in literature, it’s not something that you would find, I came up with it in my own
mind, but I’ve also now, saw other people mention it,
they didn’t steal it from me, I didn’t steal it from them,
we just, it’s a sort of, a normal line of thinking.
– Parallel thinking. – Parallel thinking.
– Yeah, yeah. – So, PTG is something important, so giving them an outlet is smart because they can grow from it. With that being said, a
lot of people will say, well what can I do? I don’t have a strength, right? That’s something so common.
– Right. – And my thing is, ask five
people who know you best, and ask them to write
the number one quality that they think you have, whatever it is. And you can use that quality to achieve pretty much anything. – That’s true, yeah. – And people say, well no Doctor, ’cause people say I’m funny, and I wanna be a doctor,
how is that gonna help? And I pose them a very simple question, who do you think, in terms
of patient population, like ages of patients, who
do you think needs to laugh? And enjoys laughing the most,
if you’re gonna be a doctor? – Kids? – Wrong. Any other guesses? – Adults? (laughs) – Everybody. – Oh, word? (laughs) Cool, I feel like, you
know when like a teacher will stump you in class?
– Yeah. – And it’s like that obvious answer and everybody gets really annoyed? – No, but it’s true.
– That’s what just happened to me. – Everyone wants to laugh.
– (laughs) No, it’s true. – And think about it, when you’re sick, and you’re going through a rough time, don’t you want to laugh even more? ‘Cause everyone rightfully
so, is being very serious and somber around you to not upset you, but then if someone comes in
with a little bit of humor, it helps, it’s a good
pressure release valve. And, I can always say, that if you have some sort of strength
that people find in you, I can find a way to
make it fit your goals. – No, that’s so true. – So, it’s really, we
grew up in a society, when were you born? – 91. – I was born in 89, so
we’re almost the same age, and we grew up in this
timeframe in the 90’s where, a lot of self esteem
was just pushed on us. Like, parents were saying to
us that we’re all special, – We’re the trophy generation, yeah. – We’re amazing,
– Participation trophies. – Participation trophies, this is great, and what the problem with that is, it breeds a lot of
narcissistic tendencies. Why? Because you’ll grow, you’ll
go into a social setting with a group of people,
and you may do something really wrong socially, like
you may start screaming, when you shouldn’t be screaming, or you’ll make really obnoxious jokes, that don’t make sense for the moment. – Right. – And when people try and
tell you, like socially, like man, that was not right, or you should’ve done
something different there, you’ll say, who are you to critique me, I’m special, I have self-esteem, I just won’t hang out with you any more, I’m gonna find someone else. So you don’t take critique well, you don’t take criticism well,
you don’t like discipline. People who forego all those things, lead to, lead lives that are very unhappy. – Right. – Because discipline, will power, all these things, you need
to go through struggles, you need to set challenges for yourself, because there’s no such
thing as a perfect utopia. Just how you’ll never
know when something’s hot, unless you’ve felt something cold, so the same way that you
need to go through a struggle and feel like what it’s like to struggle, that you’ll when you actually
surpass it on your own, and you do something, then
you get that self-esteem from reaching that struggle. And that sort of
self-esteem is really good. So as parents, what I tell people is, instead of just blessing
all your kids all the time, well this is amazing, even
though you drew this horrible, you know, like, dinosaur,
that looks like a couch. – Right.
– But you know, so, give your kids challenges that are on their level, but that they can surpass, and that will give them their
own level of self-esteem, that you don’t need to
give them false praise for. – Wow, we just covered a lot of bases. – I know!
(laughing) we went total mental haul. – Were we supposed to be
answering questions? (laughs) – Yeah, I wanna answer questions, come on. – Oh wait, am I supposed to? Am I supposed to get them? – No, you’re supposed to just
like ask me things out of– – Oh, okay, cool. – You’ve wondered about health, like you could ask me anything. – Well I’m all about like.