Positive Mental Attitudes During Pregnancy – BK Sister Shivani (English Subtitles)
Namaste and welcome to Virtue Baby. In the last episode we had discussed about creating list A list of what kind of baby we want. We have received several emails. We have the privilege of having the well known gynecologist Dr Nitika Sobti. A warm welcome. Namaste. And we have Brahma Kumari Sister Shivani. Om Shanti. Om Shanti We have a long list You can do it based on your patients. Our viewers have mentioned that they want their child to have all virtues that make for a beautiful personality. Some of them want their child to be spiritually oriented. Someone has mentioned that their child should be like the mythological character Arjun. They want the child to be focused and successful. Have all virtues and live by values. The child should know how to be happy and contented. What I don’t have, my child should have it. The child should know how to thrive in this world. He should be a leader. There are many more desires that audiences have written about. Dr Nitika might add to this. What else would be the Expectations? Primary expectation is that my child should be fine. Healthwise they are really concerned. They are ready to do everything for it. As far as values are concerned Whenever there is an off-hand conversation I have heard They want the child to be good natured. They may not be able to express discrete values but they want the child to be good natured. Because someone who is good natured will be nice With everyone and have all values. Good at sports, healthy, successful, neat, Superman… And the good news is that the Superman does not come ready-made,
We need to create a superman. So now we only have to shift one thought. That everything we want in a child When we say good natured, we need to think in depth about it. They have another question. When we talk about our Desires, will it put pressure on the baby? Because if we have a certain expectation Since the soul is getting all the messages from us Will it put pressure on the child that my parents want me to be so and so? So we should not put pressure on the child. So we should not send a message that you are like this, you are like that… I want you to be like Arjun or like a film actor Like Shri Krishna. I have seen mothers wearing pendants of Shri Krishna. It’s very pure and divine thought But it’s not enough to just create a desire isn’t it? To manifest that Desire We have seen in the series that we have a lot of power. The mother and the whole family has it. If they want the child to be like Shri Krishna Then identify the qualities of Shri Krishna. Divinity, serenity on the face, purity, royalty And the biggest attraction of Shri Krishna is that he is very loving. Why does everyone love him? Because he loves everyone. We say he is detached and loving. He belongs to everyone, and to no one. So first we need to identify this list. And now we have understood That thoughts of the mother and the family are reaching the child. If you want the child to be loving, we want him to love everyone Other people love him but he should also love everyone. Then the mother should be like that, where she loves everyone. We have seen that as we think, so will be the reality. The thoughts we create will influence the child And the child will start becoming that way. So we created a very pure thought that my child will be like Shri Krishna. Divine, loving, and happy. How many such thoughts will we create in a day? Maybe once, 5 times, 10 times, 100 times. Or even if you say it a 1000 times. You create 1000 thoughts in the day That my baby will be like Shri Krishna, with all the values. Your child will be influenced by those 1000 thoughts. Remaining time, we say anger is natural. We do get tensed. We feel bad if someone says something. Crying is natural at such times. How many of such thoughts do we create? On an average, we create 60,000 to 70,000 thoughts in a day. Getting stressed is also a part of our thoughts and feelings. If we create 60000 thoughts in a day. 1000 thoughts were that my child will be like Shri Krishna. The thought will have an influence on your baby. But what about the remaining 59000 thoughts? Which are filled with anger, tension, anxiety… What can 1,000 thoughts do, in front of 59,000 negative thoughts? It was a part of our thinking isn’t it? We have seen the line that as the mother thinks, so the baby will become. So these thoughts will also manifest that My child should be pure, beautiful and happy. But my every thought is influencing my child. This is very important, and even for law of attraction For any situation in life we create right thoughts. Along with that, we create several thoughts of opposite quality. Every thought has power, and not just these 1,000 pure thoughts. But we feel that regarding my child I have created only these 1000 thoughts. But as the mother thinks, so will be the direct effect on the child. It means especially during those nine months whatever I think Everything that you are thinking in that duration. Okay, so I need to change my thought process. There is no division that only whatever thoughts you create about the child Only those will affect the child. We have understood in this series that Everything we think is affecting the child It is scientifically proved that as will be the mother emotionally, so will be the child. So 1,000 pure thoughts and 59,000 thoughts of other quality in a day. Which means those 1,000 thoughts will not have much effect. While talking of child induced anxiety, we discussed that it will affect the child. Let’s simplify it. Whatever goes on here on the mind Whatever I think and whatever is the state of mind Because I need to make it very simple for myself. Whatever is my state of mind, it will affect my child. My attitude towards other people will influence my child’s attitude. My dominant emotion becomes my child’s emotion. So now I have to do only one thing. It’s actually very simple. Does it mean if I am crying most of the times, my child’s emotion will also be of sadness? That is what we understood in this series. Our stress will influence the child, our anger will influence the child. The baby is in the womb but what about your child today? Your state of mind will affect your child even now. But we don’t think much of it because now the child is creating his own emotions. But the child who is in the Mother’s Womb is not creating any of his own emotions. One is the hormonal effect that will influence the child. But the other is the soul to soul, vibrational effect. One is that when you create stress, the hormones that are secreted They will reach the child and will affect the physiology. This means it is an opportunity for the mother also to change her attitude. And most important is the list of desires you have for your child This is the fundamental time when you can exercise all those powers. Whatever we become, the child will be come the same way. Just pick up any virtue that you want in your child. I want my baby to be very loving. Simple is that you start becoming very loving from today, yourself. But I feel I am loving. Loving towards everybody. It should not be conditional. Suppose I love 10 people who are close to me, quite a lot. But I just can’t stand one other person. My every thought is affecting my child’s thought. If I don’t like a person, and a lot of women go through it. Then my baby will also not like a few people Which means my child will not be like Shri Krishna. But we don’t mind it. But you said you want the child to be like Shri Krishna. Many parents say that even my child should take revenge. If you do that programming then such Sanskars will come to the child. He will not just take that one revenge which you want him to take. Taking revenge will become a part of his personality. It’s not a conditional programming. Suppose my emotion right now is of hatred. Suppose the hatred is very strong as I don’t get along with my mother in law. Emotion of hatred is affecting my state of mind. Vibration of hatred is getting transferred to the child. The child doesn’t receive a message that hatred is with just this one person. The message getting transferred is not that When you come out you just need to hate this one person. The emotion of hatred is getting transferred to the child. Most women go through it and they are unable to control. Suppose I get angry only with her since we are living in the same house. I get angry with one person. It doesn’t mean that when the child comes out he will also get angry with only one person. My emotion of anger is influencing my child. Then he will become an angry child. Exactly. It’s simple. So the list of desires is very easy to implement. That what you want in your child, you start becoming that way. As we start becoming that way, the child also start becoming the same way. But I think it’s not easy. If you want your child to be like that If you want someone to be like that, then you should be like that. But I can have a different Karma with that person so it’s difficult for me to give up anger. That soul has also brought so many karmas with it. But this is the time when we can give it good vibrations And change many of its Sanskars. So unknowingly, I am making the child so negative then? Actually whoever I am, I am making the child the same way. Whether negative or positive, whoever I am. Generally why do you say about a child that this nature in him or her, Is exactly like the mother’s nature? Where did the child get this nature from? So many times we don’t know certain traits externally. But even if we have it internally it is getting transferred to the child. It is getting transferred internally itself. That is why the more we purify our thoughts Purity and divinity in the child will become natural. Even if it is not easy, we are saying this is the formula. How we want to implement it is up to each one. How to love everyone when I cannot tolerate that one person? Maybe that person has made my life so difficult. And then we say that tolerance power in today’s children has gone so low. They react so quickly and they don’t obey us. The most common complaint of today’s parents is That they don’t listen to parents. They have inherited all this from us. They inherit these qualities also, and not just our property. I don’t want my child to become like that. Formula is so simple. Just become what you want your child to be. You want your child to be peaceful? You be peaceful in those 9 months. We try to be and everyone makes efforts. They will see the results then. But if you really examine, we try externally, but there is bitterness inside. When I am going through pregnancy I am putting up with so much. I am not saying anything but I am taking it all silently. Suppose I have differences with someone at home. The inner conversation that goes on in the mind What is important for the mother now to take care of? What is her inner conversation? Everyone has an inner conversation going Why did he say that, why did you do that, why this… why that… Even at this time they are saying unpleasant things to me. I might be thinking what will be the effect on my child because of what they said to me. They always ask me to take care of myself. But look at what they are doing to me… This long conversation Even in this phase, nobody is taking care of me. There is a feeling of victim or self pity. Many of us today feel like victims Self pity. We tell other people – Do you know what they are doing to me? That mother must have also felt it, that I have been ill treated. There will be issues. It’s not that all of a sudden everything will be fine. That is why Dr Nitika had mentioned in the first episode that when you are planning pregnancy We discussed that our relationships should be smoothened, as part of the planning. But we never knew about it. Maybe we cannot turn around a relationship overnight. But we can take care of small things like The inner conversation going on in the mind If you even tell your mind that much at that moment as This is not for me right now. We will deal with it later. It goes off your mind, because when you set a priority One is my emotional hurt. One is my baby’s emotional and physical health. So at that time I need to tell myself Let go of what they did now. They did so many good things today as well. Basically I have to change my inner conversation. Just like how we go to a third person They will also change our inner conversation. If that mother shares with a third person that my mother in law did this … Then the friend will advise to leave it. It is not the right time to think of it all. Think of something nice. They will give the right advice but each time we cannot go to someone else. Going to them will also mean we would have spent 1 hour already thinking about it Moreover want the third person to endorse what we say. We don’t want the person to ask us to let go of what happened. I want them to accept that I am not being treated well. Even talking it out to people. We think when the husband comes home in the evening we will let him know. I will call up my mother, I update my sister. Each time we discuss it with people If you really want to discuss, then you discuss the solution. Solution means, what should I do now, since my mother in law said this to me? That is healing for you. Otherwise we go on complaining they said this, they said that… Each time we repeat this conversation It goes on and on So the first step when something like this happens, should be that
I will not talk about it to anybody. Otherwise it will escalate. If I am quiet, then in half an hour it is going to subside within me. Gossiping will surely affect the child. It is very hard to understand that this is how it works. Couples who meet us don’t discuss what exactly happened at home. But there are so many differences of opinion with regard to the child itself. It’s not about the gender of the baby or anything related to it. It’s about medicines, tests, food, exercises, walking… It is only related to pregnancy. Only about 30% of them seem to be in synergy. The husband says she doesn’t walk. The wife justifies that she tries but she is not able to do it. It is sometimes complaints about diet. I can understand in just 15 minutes of interaction. These 15 minutes of interaction are about differences of opinion which is okay. But you can feel the vibration. Whether it is only a difference of opinion or criticism. The energy of whether they are trying to criticize each other Or sharing a genuine difference of opinion. The mother in law says she doesn’t walk, but she says she is unable to. This can be done in a very harmonious way also. But you can make out the energy. Concern for the baby is equal from both sides. Even if there is a difference of opinion, the target is the same. Even if the girl remembers just this much That no matter what my mother in law says Her intention at this time Although some girls will say that my mother in law will never think nice for me Then we say that even if they don’t think nice for you Even if you are not ready to believe that But their grandchild is coming Sometimes grandparents are more than the parents, for the child. My thoughts are influencing my child. So I cannot afford to think bad about that person. And the last resort will be Even if your mother in law is just not thinking nice You still cannot afford to sit and cry about it. Cry after 1 year if you want to. You cannot cry now. You cannot afford to keep thinking of it. You cannot think the way you would think earlier. Because whatever was our Sanskar or personality And today if you get the news of your pregnancy We cannot change our personality overnight. But just like we take care of other things like I should not drink coffee, I should not drink coke at this time. This is also one of those things. I should not think of this, at this time. We understand that Sanskar will not change or relationship will not change suddenly. Just tell yourself – I should not think of it now. Even if it means to distract your mind. Talk to somebody or switch on the TV. Don’t let those thoughts stay on your mind for very long. Because you won’t even realise and one hour would have passed. Even if you can’t change the thought, switch or distract. What are the things which help us distract? Is there anything which will help me stay away from these thoughts? We have so many avenues like walking, listening to music, or meditation during pregnancy. You can even read good books. There are so many books that are informative. There are so many self help books available. It’s not that we should read only child related information. They can read information related to coming out of such situations. I think once we are aware, we will definitely not like to put ourselves into depression. And I feel today mothers are aware. And she understands that everyone is working towards a healthy and happy baby. But I feel sometimes they lack the power to handle. When they come to us we are surrounded by other physical aspects. So we just brush through emotional aspects. We have the power to switch. We do it consciously in so many other aspects anyway. It is a matter of prioritisation, as Sister Shivani said. Thank you so much, and there is so much to learn and implement. Not just for my baby but it will be a big change for myself. Sister Shivani and Dr Nitika, thank you so much. We have been saying that it can be a project – virtue baby. Childbirth is said to be a second birth for the mother. Even from a personality aspect, it can be a rebirth for the mother. We don’t want our children to have negativity in their personality. When we see certain children who have issues in their personality We don’t realise it could have come from the parents. Today if we check ourselves, there are some aspects that we need to change. And this is an opportunity for me to work on my personality. If you have any questions or message for us, please send an email. That’s all we have for today. Namaste.