Reagan Myers – “Depression Is Funny Like That”

Reagan Myers – “Depression Is Funny Like That”


This week I sat in an autozone parking lot and cried for 10 minutes straight because I couldn’t change a headlight Which sounds like a lead up to a terrible stand-up routine right one where the joke is always on me like, haha I ate half a bag of pretzel and Em’s at 11:30 in the morning in bed Or I’ve watched the pilot of Gossip Girl ten times in the past two weeks because I keep falling asleep Halfway through because being sad is a goddamn joke sometimes My headlight went out my first thought was seems right I couldn’t change it by myself because I’d have to take off a whole bumper or something I thought of course or I wish I was dead Being this kind of sad is funny that way no inconvenience is a minor inconvenience It’s all the end of the world or might as well be my brain is dramatic like that. Depression is a silent film A monologue shot underwater Depression is sulking because I won’t talk to it anymore by which I mean about it There are some days when I am so sad I don’t remember what it’s like not to be like when you have a bad cold and you forget how to breathe through your nose and you’re so sure you’ll never breathe through your Nose again, and I’m so sure I will never feel joy again Except when you have a cold you can call and sick to work and people tell you to get well soon and there’s a whole soup genre dedicated to your well-being I can’t call in sad to work can’t go to the grocery store and go to the sad aisle Which would only have like already stale popcorn and tea your best friend swears is good for you. So Sometimes all I can do is laugh. If I don’t there might be nothing left There’s a crack in my bathtub in the shape of the Platte River And I know this because I sit on the floor of my shower so often it’s become a permanent imprint in my thigh I’m here because I’ve been sad since graduation not this one the one before that or maybe I have a bad cold Or maybe it’s both but the cold makes the most sense for sympathy purposes If I get out I have to be a person again Have to put on clothes put lotion on my legs a bowl of cereal at least Take care of this terrible body that refuses to take care of me back I’m so tired of talking about my depression as someone else a ghost that haunts me and I am afraid of the seance Afraid of what it might want from me. My depression doesn’t ask for much But when it does it’s something I cannot give and that’s the joke. It’s just me asking for something I cannot give I asked to come back to my body and it’s only me saying no When people ask me how I am they might as well be asking where I’ve gone. I’m driving down a dirt road No headlights when it curves I will not know just drive on into the field my own voice playing on the radio Telling me there is no place for me here

Comments

(100 Comments)

  • Hannah K

    I got goosebumps… I felt every word

  • Lisa T

    FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

  • Rau Fa

    "There are some days I am so sad I don’t remember what it’s like not to be"

    "My depression doesn’t ask for much but when it does it is something I cannot give and that’s the joke, it’s just me asking for something I cannot give. I ask to come back to my body and it’s only me saying no."……like damnnnnn

  • mike lowe

    Wow i know all of these things so damn well. I wish she didnt have to feel it to. This war inside rages everyday. Yet i have no choice but to hide it the best that i can. Simply because this world doesnt understand. Somedays i dont understand either.

  • People spend a 3rd of their life sleeping

    I have never struggled with depression, or been close to somebody who has. But it seems like a very difficult fight… I cannot imagine how to deal with depression and stuff every single day. I mean, I get depressed, we all do, but I and most other people have the benefit of bouncing back to our feet once we have some time to recuperate, relax, take time for ourselves…

    To anyone out there fighting the right against depression: I wish you all the kindness and light and happiness and hope and strength and power and motivation in the universe. I want you to feel okay. And every part of my heart is hoping that you will someday, near or far, feel okay.

  • alizé

    Sometimes, all I can do is laugh. If I don't, there might be nothing left.

  • Lee Chung

    When someone understands and says it better than u ever could…

  • emilee waldo

    I actually cried at this. It perfectly describes how I feel.

  • haya zehra

    When she said "Sometimes all I do is laugh" I felt it🤐🤞

  • Potato Couch

    That makeup tho.

  • Langlen Chanu

    Being sad is godamn joke sometime 👍✌❤

  • CentralTexasPuppies

    I am now turning to drugs, prescription but drugs nonetheless. Those and benadryl to sleep because sleep is a rest from all my thoughts and feelings.

  • PridelessChickz

    And then you ask for help and only deal with doctors that blame you, and they're your only option doctor wise because that's all you can afford. "Get help" everyone says. Ok, then what? No one thinks about that. No one.

  • Ethereal

    Depression is the worst thing i have ever been through in my life. And kids at my school joke about it and say they have it.. and it makes me distressed. And i just want to punch them in the face.. but of course i cant.

  • evirenka

    It was me.. last few years. Not few. A lot of them. But at the moment? I'm out of it. Depression is far away for now. It will probably come back, but I will cherich every day till it does knowing I can and will make it go away when it hits again.

    So everyone reading IT WILL GET BETTER, HOLD ON. KEEP GOING. NEVER STOP FIGHTING. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

    btw.. I love the poem, but am afraid it romanticizes depression.. or it might do it for some people and that's bad..
    what i found helped me the most was when I got angry. real angry, because I didn't deserve this horrible illness that was trying to kill me. I'm a good person and I did every thing I could to cure me. I started from the beginnig. I made every single thing enjoyable or at least I tried. I used the best toothbrush I could buy, made my own toothpaste. Made breakfest I deserved every day.. had luxury baths… Sometimes it would take a whole day to just get out of the bed and clean my teeth. Nothing else was done but at least what I did I did with love for myself. I have no idea if this helpes anyone… everyone is different. Spo.. JUST KEEP ON FIGHTING.

  • mike lowe

    My depression is now asking simply for me. For me to cease to be. Its a call i cannot answer yet cannot ignore. What its asking of me simply is becoming harder to resist. There will come a day i fear i will give in for here i dont belong

  • Said Inusah

    I liked it before it started

  • lestrange dan

    "I can't call in sad to work "

    This is me, my depression and anxiety worsen when I moved to my current job, I want to resign but I don't even know what to tell my manager, "My job is making me depress that's why I'm leaving", ha

  • Kaelyn Farr

    Last line got me feeling some type of way, it hurts my chest, damn

  • rumblesofrevolution

    OMG the pretzels line is too real!!!

  • Ash Fire

    My depression is constantly making jokes about how I want to die or about my sadness and laughing like I didn’t mean it so my friends don’t ask what’s wrong because I honestly don’t know myself, my depression is constantly covered with fake happiness so when I tell someone I’m sad they think I’m lying because I’m normally so happy, my depression is telling someone I’m fine then hoping they would realize it’s a lie, my depression is telling people I’m cutting but when they ask why I tell them it’s nothing, my depression doesn’t know what it is, I have a therapist but I lie to her so much that she thinks it’s just a bit of sadness that owns my body, i tell so many lies I don’t even know what the truth is anymore

  • Frankie-Lee Rodriguez-Gonzalez

    After this I was sobbing. I’ve slowed it down so I could type. Oh my god this girl explained my life.

  • Newell Daugherty

    People Don’t Want to Kill Themselves They Just Don’t Know How to Kill the Pain!!!!!!!!!

    Every Thunderstorm Runs Out of Rain!!!!!!

  • namjoons rejected handshake

    ive never been numb but looking forward to it 🙃

  • namjoons rejected handshake

    "no inconvenience is a minor inconvenience, its all the end of the world, or might as well be"

    It's really like that. You can't get what you want one time, maybe you wanted cola, but there's only sprite, and now you're on the floor sobbing about how unfair life is and it's not you being overdramatic, its you feeling so much pain that even the smallest touch hurts all over. You wanted to call your best friend at 3pm on a saturday, but she was asleep, now you're going to die because shes all you have but now shes ignoring you. You wanted popcorn but your cousin got the last bag and maybe they did that because you don't deserve to eat anymore. Life isnt fair all the time but all the time starts to feel like every moment of every day. That what it feels like to me

  • Got Opinions

    when people ask me where I’ve been, they might as well be asking where I’ve gone

  • Emily Jacks

    “a ghost that haunts me and i am afraid of the séance”

    related to every word and wept.

  • Lonely Poet

    When my sister and I talk about suicide, we laugh. Like, what else should we do? We have cried so much, the only thing we can do about it in the moments when we feel happy is laugh.

  • vremetal

    We're all gonna die. Be depressed about that if anything, not the little stuff.

  • James T. West

    if depression were lovely, it would be this.

    "depression is a silent film"… absolutley

  • Nicky Baillargeon

    i love her and the way she speaks

  • Strawberry Bagel2006

    This hit close to home.

  • anita tichacek

    Amen

  • Eli Fallon

    “My headlight went out, my first thought was.. seems right. I couldn’t change it by myself because I thought i’d have to take off the whole bumper or something, and I thought, of course, or… I wish I was dead”

  • happy little raincloud

    This hit hard

  • My chemical romance Babe

    “‘My voice playing on the radio telling me their is no place for me here”.

    Felt that…

  • Rainy. Days

    "sometimes all I can do is laugh, because if I don't, there might be nothing left…"

  • shafiyyah s_

    This week I sat in an auto zone parking lot and cried for ten minutes because I couldn’t change a head light, which sounds like a lead up to a terrible stand-up routine, right? One where the joke is always on me? Like, haha, I ate half a bag of pretzel m&ms at 11:30 in the morning IN BED or, I watched the pilot of Gossip Girl ten times in the past two weeks because I keep falling asleep half way through because being sad is a goddamn joke sometimes.

    My headlight went out and my first thought was “seems right.” I couldn’t change it myself because I’d have to take off the whole bumper or something and I thought “of course” or “I wish I was dead.”  Being this kind of sad is funny that way, no inconvenience is a minor inconvenience, it’s all the end of the world or might as well be, my brain is dramatic like that.

    Depression is a silent film, a monologue shot underwater, depression is sulking because I won’t talk to it anymore, by which I mean ABOUT it. There are some days I am so sad I don’t remember what it’s like not to be, like when you have a bad cold and you forget how to breathe through your nose and you’re so sure you’ll never breathe through your nose again and I’m so sure I’ll never feel joy again.

    Except when you have a cold you can call in sick to work, and people tell you to get well soon, and there is a whole soup genre dedicated your well-being.  I can’t call in “sad” to work. I can’t go to the grocery store and go to the “sad aisle” which would have like already stale popcorn and tea which your best friend swears is good for you.

    So sometimes all I can do is laugh, if I don’t, there might be nothing left. There’s a crack in my bathtub in the shape of the Platt river, and I know this because I sit on the floor of my shower so often it’s become a permanent imprint in my thigh.

    I’m here because I’ve been sad since graduation, not this one the one before that, or maybe I have a bad cold, or maybe it’s both, but the cold makes the most sense for sympathy purposes.

    If I get out, I have to be a person again. Have to put on clothes, put lotion on my legs, eat a bowl of cereal at least, take care of this terrible body that refuses to take care of me back.  I’m so tired of talking about my depression as someone else, a ghost that haunts me and I am afraid of the seance, afraid of what it might want from me.

    My depression doesn’t ask for much but when it does it is something I cannot give and that’s the joke, it’s just me asking for something I cannot give.  I ask to come back to my body and it’s only me saying no.

    When people ask me how I am they might as well be asking me where I’ve gone. I”m driving down a dirt road, no headlights, when it curves I will not know, just drive on into the field my own voice playing on the radio telling me “there is no place for me here.”

  • Amber Park

    "if I get out, I have to be a person again" damn that hit a spot

  • Lindi Nkosi

    Thank u so much for this video……. I have been dealing with depression myself for so many years now

  • Mecha Thanos

    I was not ready for this

  • Sammy Joe

    “I’m driving down a dirt road, no headlights when it curves I will not know just drive on into the field my own voice playing on the radio telling me ‘there is no place for me here’”

  • Sammy Joe

    “I wish I was dead, being this kind of sad is funny that way, no inconvenience is a minor inconvenience”

  • BTS Obsessed

    Atleast i aint the only one to sit when i take a shower cause of how bad the sadness has been

  • Atrbulldog

    Is depression real tho lol

  • Miss Seaweed

    Once I got so sad over nothing that,
    it seemed overnight, I was mad.
    Plain as day, but the source of my anger, a well deep inside,
    Taking so much control and killing my sight.

    Then I stopped and looked myself in all clarity,
    With winter winds screaming its threats behind me.
    I looked above to the dull gray skies
    That laughed mockingly at my plight
    In its sickening delight
    And I did something peculiar…
    To those darned dark skies and the dullness polished anew in these tear-stained eyes,
    I smiled in defiance at these thoughts so reviled,
    and told myself I'd be happy, so long as I desired.

    Then, it was as if I'd woken up, my lies I told myself and this depression I called me
    dissipated in the blink of an eye.

    It wasn't gone, still there,
    but suddenly I was going uphill,
    climbing towards a far-gone height.
    Sometimes, I stop and take a look back upon this trek I've made,
    Up and down these perilous flights.
    And I smile again.

    I'm tired sometimes,
    But it's okay.
    One day I'll have scaled this mountain,
    Even if it's not today.

  • Alynaj

    She did that

  • Jason Tate

    You nailed depression on the head. Well said pretty lady. Well said.Thank you very much. That is how a depressed person really feels.

  • Awesome Person

    Once I knocked over my mom's plant and I cried for 10 minutes

  • SılentJewel

    During this whole thing i thought, Wow..i didn't think ANYONE could explain how i felt..how i feel. But this is EXACTLY how i feel, it's almost like my mind has been put into words

  • Jillian H.

    "Depression is a silent film;a monologue shot under water"..

  • The Barr’s

    What is the most annoying thing is when someone goes “im here for you” and when you need them they aren’t and they never will be

  • Joe

    I mean just don't be sad lol

  • Andi Simmons

    This poem hits different tonight 🥺

  • Baskasindan Baska

    No worries for depression
    Here is a solid way for your way out;
    Olive oil and tomatoes
    Grene chili and 5 minutes
    3 eggs and 3 minutes
    A girl, sunny day and fresh bread.

    Day light, summer and some water.

    “ ı dont know the others but breakfeast must be related with hapiness”

  • Aminah Wasim

    this is so relatable wow

  • Booster Seat

    Wow she's gorgeous!

  • MissImmortal

    You are beautiful

  • Chado

    There is a place for you, dear. It's called poetry..

  • Anna Cole

    I've watched this so many times I have it memorized. Never could seem to explain depression. This is it.

  • Marcella

    2:09 this part till the end its so real, I can relate and it's very exhausting

  • mira nehlawi

    It got me in tears, you’re SO BRAVE

  • Ronee Dennison

    I felt this way too fucking much as I listen to this from my bed, on a day I am “supposed” to be at work but had to tell my boss I got food poisoning instead because my heart can’t handle it today

  • Alexis Retzepis

    WOW.

  • Lyric TheBlood

    I’m dealing with anxiety and depression and it’s probably the worst thing I’ve ever experienced my mind mentally hurts from putting up with it so much I can feel my brai throbbing from all the problems and loneliness I push aside

  • adelle brown

    When people ask how I am they might as well
    Be asking where I’ve gone “
    ….. wow

  • Cassandra Childs

    This is so true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • becca Krahn

    okay but her make-up is so beautiful

  • Joseph Ter Meer

    I found this channel the other day…. After 50 years, I finally know what the problem is.

  • *[FeelsRestricted]*

    When the screen goes black for a few seconds and then the chills hit.

  • Midnight Magic Poetry

    Hi Keep doing what you do!! its good to share how we feel, think! its good to let it all out!! your a good poet! I live in the uk! Ive just started out again! I hope one day to go to an open mic some day! your doing a good job!! 😊

  • Leilani Myers

    Man my last names myers itza spelled the sametoo

  • Vivie Neil

    Dear Mental Health, I blame a lot of things on you… I'm not really sure why. I don't see the point. No one believes you exist.

  • Jean Thomas

    Depression is invisible.

  • cactus boi

    When she said "like when you have a bad cold and cant breath through your nose and your so sure you never will again". I felt that. Cus a have a really stuffed up nose right now 😂😂😂😂

  • Spencer Hastings

    My dad thinks I chose to be depressed

  • 悪魔;ᴅᴇᴠɪʟ'ꜱ ʟɪᴛᴛʟᴇ ᴀɴɢᴇʟ

    ppl in the coments saying ''omg so me!!!'' makes me loose braincells

  • EG Loveall

    So I’m a teenage girl. I can’t have depression cause if I say how I feel people laugh and say same. I can’t be sad. I have to love it when people talk about each other. I have to love it when people hate on the friends they’ve had their entire lives. I have to love all the hate in the world. A week ago I laughed my real laugh. A laugh that I haven’t heard since I started middle school. For one day I was happy. On day in three years. But if I say anything people will just laugh and say same.

  • Shawli

    # Wow !!! love from India.

  • Insane Monk

    🥺👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🥺

  • Ghostface 75

    I feel very related to this poem

  • Princess G

    "sometimes, all i can do us laugh. if i don't there might be nothing left". Wow. I felt that too much.

  • Watermelon Warrior

    “All i can do is laugh, because if i don’t then there’s nothing left” that hit to close to home

  • andrea camacho

    Depresión is a demon I have rebuked in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. You can too.

  • Weirdo Alice

    Honestly people now a days don't know what depression is to other people…
    My friend has depression and in the 5th grade she started cutting herself everyone in that grade found out and you wanna know what other people called her they called her a attention seeker and the thing is that's not ok they don't know what she is going through… 2 years later it has been getting better for her…
    But little did she know I was going through the same thing and I hid it from her I didn't want to tell her in the 5th grade cuz I didn't want her to worry about me when she was going through things to but I started doing the same thing as she did…. I started cutting myself and I started starving myself cuz I thought my body size was bad because of all the girls in my school they are all skinny and perfect… When she found out I was cutting myself she stopped talking to me for a while…. So I let her have her space she came back but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person that felt lonely with a crowd of people.
    When my parents found out I stopped we eating my dad yelled at me and told me to stop doing stupid shit and stop being so damn stupid yeah i know he is looking after me but that still hurt. I feel like a disappointment when I get bad grades even though I tried so hard but yet my siblings get perfect grade without trying.

  • Makenzie Hatcher

    The fact that I relate to this so much hurts me

  • Jack Jack

    This is so relatable and it’s so sad that so many relate.

  • abadazbuchwatuluku nat

    "depression is a film" 💔

  • Angiliss Taylor

    I love her and this sooooo much

  • Chelsey West

    Being sad is a goddamn joke sometimes …

    Damn I felt that

  • Swapni Hapuarachchi

    can I have a hug? can I give her a hug?

  • Niecey xo

    This made me cry

  • Lily Lionheart

    I dont know whats worse. Feeling lost in the chaos of your sadness, so desperate to feel happy again you feel like you wanna tear your heart out. Or, so numb that you wish logic would stop telling you to keep caring, losing your mind, bit by bit, and not knowing when you became so.. alien. so disconnected from the world, you start not being able to even remember what you had for breakfast, not feeling happy or sad when everyone else is.

  • Ant Katya

    Why am I laughing and crying at the same time so impactful

  • Melissa Wolf

    She just translated everything I couldn't.

  • Pasta Bins

    when you forget what it feels like to wake up and just be happy and use your legs
    gang gang

  • Arne Rademacker

    There are so many hurt people in the comments. And then I realized that this video is two years old already and it makes me want to ask all the people if they're okay.

  • Brandon Espinoza

    "I have to take care of this terrible body, that refuses to take care of me back" damn!

  • Hannah Mcclung

    “afraid of what it might want from me, my depression doesn’t ask for much but when it does it’s something i cannot give”

    oh mood

  • Kenna Holdeman

    I'm sitting here in class watching these videos in order to find someone who can actually feel how I'm feeling

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