REPRESSED MEMORIES? – Mental Health with Kati Morton | Kati Morton

REPRESSED MEMORIES? – Mental Health with Kati Morton | Kati Morton


Today, we’re talking about repressed memories, what are they, and are they even reliable. So repressed memories, as I’m sure you know, have a lot of legal and ethical debate around them because many people feel that they were led by their therapist to “remember” things that we don’t even know have happened. And so all of the reading and all of the research I did, I’ll talk about both sides of that, one being yes, they exist. This is correct. Those are true. But also two being you can be led to remember things that didn’t happen. So let’s start with talking about what repressed memories really are. And I have kind of like a rough definition based on a few articles that I read about what they constitute “a repressed memory.” Now, repressed memory is an event that occurred in the subject’s past, the memory of which was actively repressed due to the psychologically devastating impact of that memory. They believe that even if someone could not recall the memory, it may still be actively affecting them. So even if we don’t technically “remember” something that happened, they believe that it’s still affecting us in our daily life. And people are going to have a lot of different thoughts about it. I encourage you to talk about it in the comments because I personally have had many clients in therapy recall certain scenarios that they couldn’t remember before. I have many clients currently who are working in trauma work with me, and they will actually have no memories from certain chunks of their life, like maybe when the abuse was actively happening. Let’s say like from the age of 7 to 14, I don’t remember anything. All of those kinds of things, to me, are signs of repressed memories and trauma. With that being said, you can see why I, as a clinician, having clients who express those types of things to me, I believe that repressed memories are a real thing. However, I can see the other side, the other side being that clinicians can be bad, right? I talk about it all the time out there. Therapists can be bad at their job. That is a true thing that happens. People are bad at their jobs in general. Therefore, they can sometimes lead clients to “remember” things that maybe never actually happened to them. And so I am always checking myself, making sure that the questions I’m asking my clients are not leading in any way. It’s just guiding them to give me more information about what they can actually recall. If they can’t recall anything, I may refer them to EMDR therapy or maybe going into treatment to work on the trauma. Sometimes, we black out certain periods of our life because it was so psychologically devasting, it’s scary to even start talking about. And as clinicians, we just need to keep ourselves in check about how we’re asking our clients about the trauma, how we’re working to process through it, and I think that’s why training and specializing and all of that stuff is so very, very important. One of the ways that I keep myself in check when working with clients who have what I call blackout periods in their memory is working on corroborating evidence. That means that if they think they remembered something, I’ll encourage them to call a parent or a friend or a loved one, whoever might have been there to witness it, and often times, we get back that “yeah, that did happen. You don’t remember? Oh, my gosh. Yeah. And then your aunt came over, and this happened.” And my client can fill this whole chunk, and often, when we get that corroborating evidence, “yes, this did happen,” other things come up. There’s like a flood of information and memories that bubble up around this one conversation. And so, that’s one thing that I always encourage because that tells me that I’m not leading them, I’m not forcing memories into their brain. I’m just having them be a detective around that time in their life so they can slowly fill in the blanks. It’s normal to not remember everything about our childhood, but it’s also not normal to remember nothing. Another sign that these memories that are coming up are actually true and valid is when they’re triggered spontaneously. It’s very common for taste, smell. It could be a song. Thinking of your senses, right? Your five senses, often those are what trigger these memories bubbling back up. I’ve had many clients eat something that they used to not eat. Let’s say they’re from another country or their family cooks their own ethnic food. Having that type of food might trigger an old memory out of the blue that they didn’t even think happened. And those are all good signs that these are really repressed memories and they are coming out spontaneously. So in conclusion, repressed memories are a real thing. I believe in them wholeheartedly because I’ve seen them come about. I’ve seen clients remember things. I’ve seen clients have whole blackouts and slowly fill in the blanks. I think the important thing to remember is that it’s just not coerced. I’m never telling my clients what they remember. I’m never saying “do you think that was because you were abused?” That’s not how therapy should work. A therapist acts as a support of guide along, but the client is actually leading it. They’re actually the ones stating things, and based on what they’ve said, I’m following along, making sure that I’m digging into that deep enough for them to tell me what they really want to tell me. I’m not coercing them. And I know that sometimes can be a very gray line, but just think of this: Am I leading the discussion in therapy, or is my therapist forcing me a direction all the time to go down abuse-hole that I don’t think actually was there, that I didn’t think happened. Those are all red flags, but hopefully, you aren’t experiencing and this isn’t something that is going on in therapy. But that’s just something to keep in mind when we question whether a memory was true or not. Did it come out spontaneously? Did all of a sudden I think about it? Did I talk to my mom about it, and now, I remember all of this stuff? Those are all good signs of the memory that has bubbled up is true and did happen. We were just repressing to protect ourselves. I hope you found this video helpful. I know I received a lot of questions about repressed memories, and I hope that helps clear that up. And please, click the share button and share this. You never know who may also be wondering about this and who you may help. And if you’re new to my channel, click here to subscribe. And if you want to see what I’m up to in my daily life, doing my daily things, follow me on all these other social medias. And I will see you next time.

Comments

(100 Comments)

  • Sarah Wolff

    When I turned 20, I started "remembering for the first time".
    But It wasn't always negative, some of the memories that were triggered were fantastic childhood memories!
    Is this the same as repressed memories or are they usually negative?

  • Lita P

    I saw the title and answered in my head “my childhood”. Yes I’m in therapy.

  • Jessie Alice

    This explains why I can’t remember anything before the age 9 except for very few select thing

  • Alyssa House

    I have this memory that suddenly came to me about a year ago but it's not a whole memory its just part of a memory. in the memory a rather questionable situation begins to occur and then the memory just stops and I cannot remember any further. any thoughts?

  • Danielle summer Pitmon’s Life

    Most of my own childhood I don’t remember from age 14 years on back I was a foster child until age 14 when I was adopted and I did have a flashback in July of this year when my wife was in the hospital when she had surgery and was not very pleasant and it was so bad that I actually was sitting in a corner outside the hospital room in total fear and it all happened on the Fourth of July night and I felt like I had been raped and I had stayed with her at the hospital the entire time she was there after her surgery but just that one event scared the daylights out of me so bad I completely had a breakdown

  • This is Me

    I had a repressed memory come back recently of being drugged and raped at 16. I only drank half the drink given to me, so I didn't take the full dose of the rape drug. I couldn't move or speak or open my eyes, but I was still conscious of what was happening to me. When I woke up in the morning I had completely blocked out the event. For years I knew the memory of that night was missing, and then 14 years later I slowly remembered all the details of that night over the course of a few days. I was not in therapy or taking any hallucinogenic drugs that could have caused this to happen. It was a completely organic experience of my body processing a trauma.

  • Erika Rohac

    I have head many traumas but I did not repress any of them. Strong people live in reality, and do not prefer magical thinking.

  • Ab Castro

    My ñame is abrahan l am having a hard time trying to remember things in think smart please call or text me 281 919 8677

  • cynsen

    Thank you

  • Bow Legged

    Katie, I like your shirt.

  • Kennedy B

    This answers all my questions ): the past year or so I've had a lot of repressed memories and flashbacks to my dad molesting, and it typically happens when my boyfriend and I try to be intimate. It doesn't happen all the time but at times my head is flooded with my dads face and I have to look right in my boyfriends eyes to make sure its him and not my dad. The worst part though is I don't remember my dad molesting me, but this past year all the pieces are finally coming to together.

  • Please Hold As I Ignore My Channel

    I used to think repressed memories we're either non-existent, or rare…..that is until it happened to me.out of the blue….just months ago, I innocently just happened to be physically in the same position/actions as when I was a kid and that same scenario was repeated on me…. that same exact physical position/act brought back flashes of memories I'd forgotten or pushed deep away…..it took me being in that unique, but same physical motion/act 40 yrs later to bring out the memory flashes of what happened to me….weird that it took for me to be in that same physical scenario to be affected bodily and react once I had the recall….I had many flashes of the repeated traumas that happened to me as a child…..not only the physical, but emotional and everything else came flooding back….I immediately started shaking uncontrollably and it all was instinctive and subconscious as I didn't even realize that I had a visible reaction to the memory flashes …I wondered what was wrong with me at first and had to come to grips with the reality…and boy oh boy so many other things make sense to me more now.

  • Darice White

    Ok..I don't remember much but I think I was sexually abused as a child I don't any memories but my sexual behaviours make me question myself..how do I settle this?

  • Lilith Haynes

    I was bullied at a young age by a close friend. I cannot recall anything from those 3 years at all, but when my mother & the people who were around me talk about it, I can definitely see how it has affected my self worth & how I handle confrontation. I am incredibly close to my friend who bullied me and we have a very healthy, open relationship. We have long since moved on and I do think the fact that I have repressed the memories has been beneficial to our relationship.

  • Jack Neiswanger

    I think the dreams we get sometimes come from what we were thinking or doing my opinion. I was talking about psych wards and the history of them with friends of mine. Then I had a dream of psych wards overnight. Weird

  • AllMightyLancer :D

    I searched up this video, cause a supposed old friend of mine ask me do you remember our times back in the day, so I tried thinking about it then it hit me, I don't remember my childhood at all

  • Livi G

    I have memories from my childhood, some were repressed and some were not. Also, I had and still have blackout periods for most of my childhood. However, it is hard for me to be sure the memories I had repressed really happened because my parents were my biggest perpetrators and deny having done anything wrong or abusive. Any advice on how to make these memories more validated?

  • AmyGamerGal

    My parents are both emotionally abusive and emotionally neglectful and my dad was physically abusive but he’s stopped. My therapist is great but instead of addressing my issues she just blames me and sides with my parents. She refuses to even address the fact that they are abusive. She’s a good person and I like her but I don’t feel like I’m getting the support I need. What do I do? I don’t want to drop her because she’s nice and I hate making people upset. I don’t want her to feel like she failed or anything. I just really need issues with my parents to be addressed. She always takes my mom’s side and defends both my parents. My mom always lies to her and puts on an act to make me seem horrible and she believes it even when I tell her it’s an act and she’s not really like that. Truthfully I believe I have a bunch of repressed memories. I’m 15 and I barely have any memories of when I was like 11 and under and few memories of most of my life. Most of the abuse took place when I was 11 and under, and based on things my dad and sister have said I think there was sexual abuse involved, although maybe not physically sexual abuse. Why can you recommend? I can’t leave the situation and if it were reported it would destroy my family.

  • A Bookish Obsession

    I don't remember a lot of my childhood 'cause I remember that a lot of the emotions associated with it are bad. Its like if my memories were a negatives of photos and there are large chunks that aren't just blacked out but are also just missing completely cut out. I hate not knowing how I became how I am today but I am TERRIFIED that I will end up back in the dark place I used to be in. I hope I can regain my memory but I don't know where to begin…

  • error53ish

    Christ. It must be nice to be in a position where you can "believe in repressed memories" instead of personally actually knowing about them (not a judgment toward Kati).

  • Gaby M

    I've been recently remembering past trauma on my own and writing it down to later discuss at therapy. I've suppressed many memories. For me, it was like "oh well maybe I'm just remembering it wrong" or "there are people worse off than me so I should stop being a drama queen" but as I've come to learn that my trauma is valid, I'm starting the process of healing from it.

  • bananian

    I can't even remember what i did last weekend.

  • Jouline Croes

    Could you make a video about DID?

  • Nagida Sylph

    Something happened when I was a child and at the time it happened, I wasn't scared but when I was a little older and understood what it was, I suddenly got very scared. It took a long time, I had totally forgotten about it. 7 years later, I suddenly remembered and I got scared again but I kept thinking about the incident over and over and thought "Maybe my mind was trying to protect me until I was strong enough to accept it."

  • tgntcrnr

    I was mentally abuse as a child but when someone ask me what they have said or what I had gone through, I cannot give a vivid or specific answer. I know I have repressed some memories in order to protect myself and unconsciously or consciously avoid that may trigger my anxiety. It may be the right thing to do at that time but in the long run it cause me greater harm. Now, I'm trying and seeking help to "fix" myself.

  • Lois Garman

    It took me years of therapy to recognize that I was sexually abused by my father and it began when I was an infant and therefore preverbal. Preverbal memories seem to me to be in a class by themselves due to the fact that an infant has no language, or experience of life, to form memories. Infants can, however, experience fear which results in trauma. In researching this, I became interested in the subject of circumcision of infants, particularly since circumcision has been done mostly without anesthesia, until somewhat recently. Thankfully it is now recognized, at least by some, that circumcision is barbaric and cruel.

  • Conne Wkl-d

    I tried to do this with my mom turns out (and I've tested her on things I know for a fact happened) she's a pathological liar. It's not just me who she lies to. My brother and her never have the same story with the same outcomes. Considering my own expierence with her, I think my brother's version is probably closer to the truth than my moms version. I dont know if she really has lost her mind or if she's practiced lying so much to cover up her many abuses over the years, "If I did that to you than I should go out side right now and hang myself for doing something so evil to my own child. Do you want me to do that?" Dont know how many times I've heard our conversations take this twist.

  • Shira Jashana

    the other night, i was housesitting for my sister and there was a noise outside of my sisters house that sounded like a man. that noise actually triggered the fuck out of me which, for some reason, led me to look up if i had repressed memories. everything they were saying from not being able to be touched intimately to feeling very uncomfortable around certain people which for me is middle aged men, was true. i had been experiencing these symptoms almost my whole life. last night i finally told my mother that i think i have repressed memories of being molested when i was a little girl and now i’m getting bits of flashes and triggers after that conversation. i’m just so confused right now and i honestly don’t know what to think, if they’re fake or real.

  • Juno~Mynx

    Sooo…I’m in emdr right now, and we are attempting to figure out traumatic experiences that I know are there, but I can’t remember. We can’t start because we don’t know what to begin with, due to the fact that I can’t remember anything. Does anyone have any ideas as to what I can do?

  • Random Youtuber

    I don't know if I have a repressed memory. I had a really traumatic event. I can't remember exactly what happend in detail but I know for a fact it happened. Sometimes I do fully remember what happend but it is distressing and I end up forgetting it an hour later. I can usually remember the memory if I try hard enough but it's too distressing and I end up forgetting it soon after. I can remember the basics of what happend and the overall situation and small parts of it but I don't remember it in detail and when I do I forget it soon after

  • Brittany Bain

    Hey Kati, is it normal for your first memory to not be until you were 4 or 5 years old?

  • Dean Erwin

    I was abused and have anzity but can't remember anything this has helped me alot now I know that I have this

  • ReCycle Spinning

    Just remember my older sister (12 years older) laying on top of me and grabbing at my crotch. 4 older sisters and none of them were allowed to date before marriage… I can't remember any of my childhood, both back as a very young child in Italy and then here in the USA after we immigrated..??ps not much about boys being abused. It seems most people think only girls are sensitive or effected..boys are lucky…
    You seem like a great counseler..

  • D3Finitely DiFf3r3nt

    There's certain smells, and certain foods that makes me have flashbacks. The more I get info on DID and repressed memories the more worried I get.

  • Chris Diaz

    I saw a dead body when I was 8 than didn’t comeback till 8 years later after someone close to me died just seeing that man on the side of the road dead and my aunt telling me oh he’s just sleeping but remember seeing the blood stain keep on growing

  • Blank Man

    I walk from the bedroom to the kitchen and forget what I went in there for. I have very little childhood memories

  • Alex Baron

    I'm trying to investigate whether I'm repressing instances when I'm suicidal or if I'm plain forgetting them.

  • Michelle Gallagher

    What if your trauma was actually losing your memory and your scared of it happening again

  • Only the Truth

    Can a person with their own cruel agenda traumatize someone into believing abuse happened when it didn't?
    I know repressed memories are real because I had no memories of my life until I was a teenager.
    Once the perpetrator was out of my life for only a few months those memories came flooding back.
    But I know someone who told me for years that her sibling would agressively insist that their mother had abused her and directly afterwards this person would come to see me. She would tell me she felt weird and didn't understand why her sibling was doing this. She even said her sibling would shake her and scream in her face if she defended their mother.
    This young lady would tell me about this trauma then lay down on my sofa and fall asleep instantly and sleep for several hours. When she woke up it was like nothing happened but she would just blow off the incidents with her sibling and not want to talk about it or minimize it.
    I have been afraid for the young lady this is happening to and have to ask myself if her sibling is disordered and how far this sibling may take this.
    The young lady began seeing a counselor who tells her that she has repressed the memories of the abuse but I know she this young ladyis not missing any chunks of memory from her childhood. It also sounds like this counselor has some big mommy issues herself and is leading this young lady.
    Is there anything that a concerned friend can do?

  • ally pandas

    I have D.I.D. yeah, when my memory is bad. I don't remember alot. I get anxiety, and I feel terrible. Or a new split Now I'm not diagnosed or anything but I may or may not have Complex PTSD.

  • Kent Mussell

    "Repressed memories are a real thing. I believe in them wholeheartedly because I've seen them come about." This is a bad argument. Seeing people come to have a memory is very poor evidence that when this happens, their memories are about an actual past event. It's important to realize the controversial nature of this subject, and that researchers do not agree about whether repressed memories ever occur. Even among those who accept that there are repressed memories, the consensus appears to be that repressed memories are very rare. There are enough cases of people gaining falsifiable memories in therapy, that every therapist should be very cautious in helping patients who think they have recovered a memory. These false memories mustn't even occur as the result of suggestion by the therapist; they can occur as the result of other kinds of priming in the patient's life. Due to all of this, without independent verification of the memory, it would be unethical for a therapist to say things to a client that would lead them to trust the veracity of their recovered memories. The APA has a helpful Q&A page on this subject on their website. Read it here: https://www.apa.org/topics/trauma/memories.aspx

  • deviousxen

    Please do a video on the epidemic of CPTSD in this country. I beg you to please raise awareness of this specific issue with your eloquent way of saying it.

    It's killing so many people I love; Both slowly and suddenly. One might argue it's the epidemic is just the overdoses or etc, but… There's an underlying cause to those that is far from merely neurochemical. I'm scared that none of my traumatized friends and support network will survive first, healing and/or people with dissociative disorders/ the coming climate apocalypse.

    Like, If you have any advice I haven't thought of or anything to even just help people take your hand and not over-isolate when their trust and abandonment flashbacks are flared up… Please. This has to be in the public eye. My own brother doesn't even believe I have PTSD/CPTSD cause, lol, ofc, cause I wasn't in war or whatever. Actually got me some weird OSDD/CPTSD combo, so this brain has a super weird take on all of this, but, it thinks its relevant to post about.

    Seems like an impossibly dense bunch of questions/concerns. Maybe there's no one answer, but please keep making these and if you got a few cents, please throw them in a comment? Thanks for this channel.

  • Curt Christensen

    One thing people need to know is that everyone is different. Some people can experience something and just a moment later, have a vastly different perception than what actually happened.
    Others can remem precisely every detail from half a century ago. Most people are somewhere between the two extremes.

  • Curt Christensen

    I had a dream when I was a young adult. In the dream, a magician told me that he knew I had many questions about life and that i should think carefully about whether I wanted the answers or not.
    I said I wanted the answers, and in the next few years after that dream, more memories came back, and I found out that they were true.
    The magician was right. I should have thought about whether I really wanted those answers

  • Megan

    thank you!

  • Dallas Michael

    i have little memory of my past from childhood to adulthood, not sure why

  • curly1959us

    I've been looking all about suppressed memories mine was of a heartbreak I could not remember any dealings with the woman girl it's been forty years but I led a good life I've been married for 38 and it'd be even worse for a real shy shy person I never knew anything was wrong it hit me 4 days ago

  • CarolineCarnivorous

    Is it possible to repress memories for other reasons?

  • Alison Wozniak

    This was very helpful, before searching YouTube on this topic I was hoping you had put something out there. So glad it was informative and well researched

  • LavenderLesbian

    I don’t have any recollection of a repressed memory or a specific period of time that’s been gone but lots of my memory is extremely hazy. I’m afraid that I could have been assaulted because when anyone ever brings up sexual abuse or rape I feel physically sick or I usually start to have a panic attack and I can’t stand hearing about it. I’m sure someone must know but I’m confused.

  • Foreign Freak

    I’m 25 and I’m just now remembering something that happened to me when I was younger I can’t remember the age I only remember the sexual abuse by my fathers brother even though my father was never in my life. Since i remembered it I haven’t been able to eat and I’ve been sleeping every day I ate 2 times in 3-4 weeks and I don’t know what to do. 😔

  • Ekim Yazici

    İt seems that you probably don't do skype sessions, eh?

  • Alex Quarters

    im currently trying to remember my repressed memories. for the longest time, i've suffered with depression and anxiety. last year, i had a therapist tell me i was showing signs of trauma, but i had no memory of anything traumatic happening to me. i bounced from therapist to therapist, most just trying to treat my depression. recently i got a therapist who specialized in sexual trauma said i was almost a mystery because of my "lack" of trauma but that based on what i was saying, it seemed i had repressed childhood trauma that was trying to come through in my dreams. it's definitely real, while i haven't remembered my memories, i've lived with the symptoms my whole life.

  • Spotted Elephant

    How can you make sure you don’t get the memories back??

  • Shamrockχ

    I just found out today, I don't remember high school, at all. This morning, I ran into someone that knew me, somehow. I felt kind of bad about it, but I don't have a clue who he was. A lot of things were fucked up, at home, but I thought school was the only relief I had. I don't know why I'd forget that. In any case, I don't want to waste any money on therapy, and I don't know if I should even bother. It's not like there's anyone I could even ask about my past. I've always been an outcast, so I don't even know if there'd be any point. Should I even worry about it? I'm fine enough with the way things are, I just felt kind of guilty when I couldn't remember him. And, it's a little weird, now that I know. There's a puzzle, in the back of my head, and for all I know, it's Pandora's Box.

  • Jenni Harner

    I’m
    Open to any responses, I remember some things but my little brother brought up other things i repressed

  • bailey playdoh

    I feel like everything that happens gets repressed and forgotten.

  • lonedruid

    This shit scares the hell outta me. Does that mean something?

  • aaronflameboy

    You seem like a great therapist.

  • Priya Bhattacharya

    Katie. Relax. Yes it's a real thing. It did happened to me multiple times. And I know it's all true and not made up stuff. My therapist never forced me any memories but helped me to connect the whole bridge instead. I think it's only a mind's way of coping with things.

  • Haley Alexander

    What if your assumed to be ‘repressed memories’ aren’t from childhood but from adolescence or young adulthood?

  • angelamary91

    Can you do a video on if a parent commits suicide? Bereavement I think it'd called.

  • RonLarhz

    I had it and when the first time it happened it's was so traumatizing like reliving it again. The problem is my parents denies it until i ask n confirmed by my aunt it happened.

    Tho neither of them 3 showed remorse, my aunt at least admitted it happened.

  • Tammy Christian

    I have repressed memories. Mine have been confirmed. I was 14 when my body started showing signs. I now know that I was having visceral memory in my body. I eventually found the courage to tell my brother about my uncomfortable feelings towards me. (Prayer) as a result, he confessed to me that he had sexually abused me. I was 29 when we finally had the conversation. I am 44 now and I still have no conscience memory of the episodes of abuse from 8 years old.

  • Survivor OfMany

    I can remember a “feeling” in my body. I don’t remember say 3-16. I know I’ve had flickers of memory but the people aren’t the real ones I can’t remember

  • Survivor OfMany

    It could be your Child’s age when the abuse started for u

  • Juanita Rodriguez

    I only have a few faint memories of my childhood but I can barely remember anything at all it drives me crazy because I’ve met people who’ve talked about their childhood so vividly and i can’t talk about it cause I don’t remember it :((

  • Grahfix Cloud

    He said "If you're going to do it, do it right" It didn't make any sense at all. Recently I remembered this but idk. I can't remember like half of everything. It came back on it's own. It came back from the feeling of helplessness. I can't remember the entire thing. If I remember a specific person doing it, could it have been some one else? These videos are very helpful. I enjoy all the learning and thank you.

  • YugiohRules10001

    I really don't remember most of my life. Even now I still can't seem to get memories even when I know nothing terrible is going on. Most of my memory loss is like before the age of 14? Even now I struggle to remember things at all even though all I do is be alone all the time. My hope is to be able to get therapy after not being able to afford it for almost a year now and to be able to figure out and get through this cloud that seems to block my memories.

  • New Mexico Artist

    If you have suppressed memories, then how do you know it? My experiences as an adult lead to me and therapists thinking that I had sexual abuse at about 8 or 9 years of age. Around that period, I had a year at elementary school when after a day of class, I went to a little jungle gym at the edge of the property and cried and cried and on and on. I have also dreamed about being raped as a young child, and awoke in a panick, flipping over to lie on my back….. the opposite of the way I was lying when the 2 men were about to attack me.

  • ashly

    i always had a memory of my father threatening my mother to abandon us and never come back when i was a child . i always thought it was a dream even though i didn’t actually dream it. it was honestly very damaging

  • Ahmed MAZEN

    I don't remember alot from my childhood like a 2 or3 (special time) memories and yes that was because of a hard/ abusive childhood i had. I see many of my nowadays friends and family members talking about how they had a delightful childhood and honestly that scares me alot. Anyway I'm kind of relieved to see that I'm not alone who is dealing with the same thing. Bullying is THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO A KID. please spread love and kindness around u ❤️

  • Celuu Carnelian

    I remember very little and describe it as "not having self awareness" until about 13 or 14, this is eye opening. Now I'm worried.

  • Jazmin Reyes

    I don't remember anything of my childhood

  • Comment Generator88

    I repressed stuff that other ppl remembered. When I said I didn’t remember it, they thought I was just trying to get out of being shamed. But I wasn’t. I really didn’t remember. I feel so angry and confused

  • Angie Marshall

    In your description you suggest talking to a family member to see if these memories are true or not. The problem is that many memories I have had were completely denied by the people I knew. It wasn't until I went to somebody that I didn't know at all to see if it could have been true that I found out some of these things I "could not have possibly remembered" actually did happen. It wasn't until I brought that to my family that they were then like, "Oh yeah, I remember that!"

  • Kallen Kekua

    My 2yr old brother was kidnapped from my bed when I was 7, he was then murdered. We never found out who did it. There is much more to my story after that with alcoholic-addict parents, divorce when I was about 12..etc. What I am trying to figure out is why I can't remember ANY of my childhood at all. I know I went to school but I do not remember going to school. I don't remember teachers, classes etc. EVEN WALKING THROUGH THE HALLS OR WHAT MY SCHOOLS LOOK LIKE.. Even through high school. I dropped out after the 10th grade and became an alcoholic addict as well. I started drinking and taking drugs at about 12. I am thankful that i was able to finally quit drinking about 5 years ago and am no longer addicted to ANY drugs except for the pain pills that I take due to trauma caused by a bad car accident at age 31. Also drugs for anxiety and depression. I am 41 now and always STRESSED always filled with anxiety bad. I hate life but I have 4 kids that I am sticking around for because I want them to be happy and normal. They know my struggles. As much as I love them, I just can't be happy. I am always tired, and don't really GO anywhere. Some days I can't even shower or get out of bed. Therapy doesn't seem to help because I don't trust people or shall i say…I trust the wrong people most of the time and always get burned by people I try to help. I always want to help everyone. What do I do. I am completely fucking miserable. I did actually get a diploma for high school at age 21 attending adult school. I went on to become a sergeant in the air force and have since retired. I have been successful but I feel like I have lived so many different lives during my 41 years that I don't know what makes me happy. I can not be happy and content and enjoy life EVER. HELP ME PLEASE.

  • Spotted Elephant

    I remember a few snippets, I was told by the abuser things that he did to me when I was 23. He told me when I was 23 about how I responded and said I liked it. I was little and this was his take on it. I don’t remember it, and I don’t want to. It’s effective me a lot. I’m sober and 43 now, I find myself remembering childhood things nothing to do with that and I hear about ppl remembering later in life and I am scared to remember.

  • Barbara Celi Leon

    I have bigs chunks of my life essentially … missing. Lately (since leaving an abusive marriage) I am remembering things steadily, but never a full story. The strange thing is that my lost memories were during happier times. My marriage and my childhood were traumatic but I remember those! It’s the happy times that I cannot remember. Any idea why? It’s bothering me

  • MazzLen

    I actively repressed memories of one major situation in my life, I remember it now, but when it crept into my mind as a child I pushed it out and I did it well. If I thought about it, I would cry, so I pushed it out.

  • Amber Morgan

    my mum and i believe that my father’s ex-boyfriend sexually abused me when i was young. my mum mentioned how after i visited my dad, i did not like this man and he scared me and he was mean. apparently i came home very different. more agro and quick to snap. i have no memory of this man. i also have later experienced with sexual assault and to this day i have vaginismus and can’t sleep with my boyfriend without feeling nauseous.

  • SassyAss Snake

    I can't remember nearly all of my memories from before i was like 7-8 and im only 11 so i have like no clue about stuff about myself . But i do recall certain things that are like dreams but still kinda like memories.

  • Elizabeth Seiden

    I remember when I was 11 years old, I was eating breakfast when my dad walked by. He said how dare you make food for yourself and not your brother! My little brother was only two years old and I remember how bad I felt for not cooking for him too. It was selfish as a sister. I guess I was parentified. I have a sister who's one year younger too, so I don't know why she wasn't mentioned by my dad.

  • Manda Panda

    I have many repressed memories that have slowly trickled back over the years I can also remember how many things began but never how the situation fully played out I also don’t remember literally anything from 5-9 or 10 other than a few flashes usually all the beginning of bad things.

  • 夢幻專家.

    i don't remember what happened, but stomach ache really effects me daily and i have a weird phobia that it's not on the list…

  • J BLuNT

    i was one of them SRA kids.. mine are plenty real.. cuz mine did not come back in therapy.. it came back when i got really sick and had a near death experience..

  • Haley pilgrim

    when i was 3-4 my dad abused my mom in front of me and my little brother and neglected us i still cant remember anything from the ages 3-6

  • Barbara Heffernan

    Hi Kati: Another awesome video! I agree, repressed memories are real. I just released a video on Traumatic Memory Processing, and why traumatic memories are stored differently than regular memories (often just in "snippets" or physiological responses even…). I'd be interested to know what you think!

  • Dilovan M. Ameen

    I need therapy and a wife why you won’t marry me… ☺️☺️☺️☺️

  • HRD Heather 77

    therapists can also be bad people. Ive encountered some of them.

  • Viola Sobieski

    I watched at the age of 5 when my foster father was murdered, my foster mother was charged with his murder and a 5 year court case ensued and she was found not guilty. I can not remember a year before and around 4 years after. Things I thought were dreams turned out to be real such as places I later found when driving around. The small things I can remember are of him getting a small gun, teaching me how it works, hiding hundreds of thousands of dollars in a couple of boxes, having an underground weapons cache, transporting bails of hay with drugs and weapons in them on his truck. I was walking one night and looked down at the footpath and remembered the shell casing of the bullet that killed him and I looked it up and the size matched. I was forbidden to speak of his death / murder for the beatings and punishment I would endure when I got home as I was told it was not my business but my foster mothers. Beatings would ensue anyway. I was forbidden to go out and see friends or have friends over and during high school I was allowed to go out to two socials and if I was bad I was grounded and that resulted in no socials or outings on my own. All the places I believed were dreams and nightmares were and are real.. it is rather a shock to drive past a place such as a pub where my foster father bought an illegal handgun and realise that was real, the place is real. Over the years my foster mother has admitted small things here and there and I believed she wanted my foster father gone so she could sell up and buy a house to take care of her father who had cancer. The people who murdered my foster father have come to her by her own admission and said they felt bad for how things went for her and she should have come to them and they would have changed the course of everything. To buy the new house with enough bedrooms we needed to move so I was ripped away from my friends and the only school I had known and I was put in a new school thousands of miles away. I was the first foster child to go to the school and I was totally broken. in less than 2 months I was in a new school forbidden to speak of anything that had resulted in my ending up in that school. I could not think and so the school and the students thought I was an idiot so I was put back a grade to. The parents put complaints in with the principal because they did not want my class corrupting their perfect little school community but it was a public school. The greater crime was not the murder of my foster father but how I was treated after his murder as an unwanted child who was acquired illegally and so I could not be gotten rid of because it would have resulted in new charges with my foster mother. They wanted a child so they got one illegally before they got 2 legally and were paid. As I was not being paid for I was always the Cinderella which later became the black sheep and the scapegoat. Children are taught there is right and wrong and when people do wrong things they are punished well as a child I learned the bad people often more than not win. To this day I can not remember the names of my friends, the teacher but I have found the school I went to and the house where my foster father was murdered. My foster mother has disowned me because I have tried to have her treated for her mental illness and I got the closest I have ever for a full mental health assessment. At the same age my foster mothers, mother was found to be a full schizophrenic and was never released into the public again. My foster mother suffered a complete childhood of abuse and so I suffered the same fate and I was beaten and belted until I was 19 still having to pull my pants down until the thickest and largest wooden spoon shattered on my bare ass. I offered to go outside and find a replacement thick stick as I could take more and finally the beatings and belting's stopped. Not soon after 10 of my friends from collage came out to remove me from that house because they knew it was terrible, so terrible that I was living there. I got out to have to go back because my housemates (my friends parents) son (my age) came back addicted to every pharmaceutical drug and went down into the usage of illegal drugs such as heroin. People would turn up at my home with fresh bullet holes in their car because people were shooting at them to get them off their property. My friends parents used me to save his life at the cost of honesty that shattered our social group because I breached my friends trust as I told his parents he was gay and had been raped as a child. I eventually was forced to move out and back into the only place I could afford which was with my foster mother. So many years of emotional abuse and put downs and when I moved back in I was made to sleep on a mattress on the floor sharing it with her / our dog. I often wonder if I was sharing my bed with our dog or our dog was sharing his bed with me. I always let my furbabies sleep on my bed and I sleep better with their company because they let me know if someone is around and I feel safer with their company but this was my foster mothers way of knowing where I stood in her new house in the city. I could be shot for even writing this but more than half the time no one believes me (not that I speak of any of this often) and at the start my now best friend did not until my foster mother admitted a little here and there and over time she saw for herself but it took years. Today we went for a drive to look up history and one of the parts of that history was to see if we could find the farm I was living at when I was first "given / sold" to these people by my 15 year old drug addicted mother who decided she did not want me and tried to abort me resulting in me being 10 weeks premature due to rough sex. I was told this at the age of 8 by my foster mother.. not something a child should be told about their natural mother. I know I watched my foster father murdered because when I saved a friends life from suicide my foster mother told me that I did not turn out nearly as bad as him given I watched my foster father murdered and all he suffered was being gay in our heated argument the day I told her I saved his life I finally got a small shred of truth. In the new school the principal would try to trick me and record me telling him anything to do with the murder or my foster mother but I was scared I would be killed or I would be "punished" if I spoke about anything when I got home. I was more frightened about what would happen when I got home. My mentally ill foster mother has lived a life through my younger foster sister who is the golden child that never does any wrong. We are not biologically related but my foster mother was paid by the government to take care of her and so someone who I have never seen work was paid to sit on her ass and feel sorry for herself and put one child above the other. Sometimes I was left for 3 weeks alone at a time as they went around the country for sporting events and fun times and when I was paid a Student Allowance the money was kept by my foster mother and used as she saw fit and if that resulted in things for my foster sister over me then that is what happened. I spent many years after the murder of my foster father wondering if I died that night and I was sent to hell.

  • rainy mins

    i kinda wanna remember it bc i wanna know more about myself to help me

  • VIXEN619

    I cannot recall a big gap of my childhood. And cannot tell if it was fine or traumatic. Is this a normal trait of repressed memories? How would i go about discovering what happened?

  • John Burien

    I have experienced trauma when I was six and those memories surfaced when I was 13 but it didnt surface all at once it was bits and fragments appearing during times and that trauma was evolved around a motorhome and police cars and glass breaking if a police car is coming with his sirens or lights I tend to get bad anxiety and i start to feel nauseous and start freaking out inside

  • John Burien

    Just not to long ago I had a memory resurface

  • Lisa Sanchez

    I just found a picture of myself with a bruise on my cheekbone. I sent it to a friend who knew me at the time and asked her if she remembered me having a bruised face. She said she did. Several times on my face and arms. i know my Ex was bad and I did divorce him, but it scares me to think that might have happened to me, But the picture is right there.

  • strumienpola

    Is childhood emotional neglect "enough" to have repressed memories? I'm not trying to say that childhood neglect isn't a big deal, I'm asking if you've seen it happen.

  • Carole Williamson

    If you have no personal attachment to your subject, then don’t talk about it

  • Ketikatz

    When I was about 14-15 we were walking in a store and I saw spaghetti ohs and suddenly remembered that my babysitter I had when I was 2 tied me down and force fed me them. Would put burnt food out then scream and hit me if I ate anything.
    My family didn't even know about it till I brought it up. They say they thought I just didn't wanna be away from my mom and that's why I freaked when they brought me over.
    So yeah I'm pretty sure they'll real

  • Edward Castillo

    I really don’t remember any of my childhood from 4 to 7 years old. I only have bits and pieces of it.

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