Telling People About Your Mental Health | Kati Morton

Telling People About Your Mental Health | Kati Morton


Hey everybody, today’s video is all about how to tell a loved one about our mental illness. Now, the first thing I want to talk about is making sure you understand and agree with your diagnosis. Know that when a therapist or a psychiatrist or a psychologist or whomever you are seeing, gives you a diagnosis and says “Hey, Susie Johnson, you have major depressive disorder.” Make sure you understand it and that you think it’s the right diagnosis for you. Something that I always tell my clients is I am never going to know your symptoms as well as you because I’m not experiencing them and so make sure that you are telling your clinician, whoever you’re seeing, all that you’re feeling and all of you’re symptoms. And if they give you a diagnosis, you can ask, “Hey, can we walk through how that’s diagnosed. I want to make sure, that that’s what I’m struggling with and that I understand what that diagnosis means.” Because those two components are really important if we are going to tell a loved one about it. I want to make sure that, firstly, agree with your diagnosis and then understand what that really means. And also as a side note, once you agree with a diagnosis and you think it’s right for you. Ask for different resources, information. You can do research online. Find out all about it, so you better understand what it’s like, what it can feel like and how you can get better treatment for it. The second thing I want to mention is figuring out who to tell because truthfully you don’t have to tell anybody, if you don’t want to. So don’t let anybody pressure you or make you feel like you have to. This is something that should only be done if you feel that it will help you in some way. Either, get you extra support because you’re needing it or it’ll help in your process, maybe they’re a person that is part of what you’re working on in therapy and you want to bring them in. Or maybe you’re needing some help getting to therapy or paying for therapy. Those can all be reasons that we might want to tell somebody else. So, just consider that and know that you don’t have to tell anybody, if you don’t want to. But another component of this that I want to address is work. And I want you to be very careful about whether or not you share that information at work, at all. That means with colleagues, bosses, anybody because there are some, you have legal rights and there are some things that you can get some benefits. You can get through work if you do have a mental illness or some kind of disability in some form. You can look into that and ask at H.R very nonchalantly about what their benefits are so you better understand. But weigh it very carefully before sharing that information because the last thing that I would want to have happen is someone to talk through the grapevine and get it back to someone else. And make them think that you aren’t able to do your job and you lose your job or something terrible like that happens. So just weigh and measure what will benefit you because in the end that I hope the whole message that you’re receiving is that, doing this should be something that it is done because it benefits you and your treatment. My third tip is, practice makes perfect. And I’ve said this a lot of times on my livestreams and different ways when I’ve talked to you about telling someone you love about your mental illness but we have to practice it. And I say this because sometimes telling someone can be stressful. We may go blank, what was it I was going do. Or we may, what I call “Verbal Diarrhea”, where we’re like, “So , there’s this time when I was sixteen and I was doing this thing and it was so stressful and I wonder if that maybe cause it” And we just tell them everything about us at once. And it can be too much for them to even hear. Let alone, completely understand and so I would encourage each of you, if you are wanting to tell a love one about this to start some bullet points of what you feel they need to know. Do you want them to know the real name of the diagnosis itself, do you want them to know what it feels like for you and what maybe the limitations you have. And then I would also, like almost always add in a bullet point when you’re making this list of what you want may need from them. Like if it’s a friend, you can just say, “You know, and really why I’m telling you this is just because I need some support” And that’s okay. Or if it’s a parent, you can say “The reason I’m telling you this is just because I’m really going to need you to help me get to therapy, or I’m hoping you could help me pay the Copay for this.” Or whatever it may be. Put that on your bullet point list. Try to keep it short, so they can hear you, they can understand what’s happening and they can know what you need from them. And then, obviously like I said, it’s called practice makes perfect. Practice saying it out loud, by yourself or with a friend or maybe in your car when you’re driving. And imagine what you think that person is going to say back. So that you’re better prepared for the conversation. Once we’ve done that a few times, and know that you can bring your list with you and read it directly off of it, if you need to because it’s there to make sure that you get out what you need to get out but doing it and saying it many many times makes us so comfortable with it that we can spend less time worrying about what we’re saying and more time connecting with the person and making sure they understand it. And the last part of this that I am going to mention is being able to give them time to respond. Not everyone is going to understand what a mental illness is. Not everyone is going to accept your diagnosis or understand exactly, what it is you’re needing from them. So that’s why we practice, that’s why we prepare ahead because it’s going to be important that you’re able to give them that time. I know it’s hard, I know it can be uncomfortable. But it can take people a little while to come around and say “Thanks for sharing that with me. I’m more then happy to help.” Or give you whatever response they’re able to give. But we have to be willing to give them that time. And lastly, you can offer up resources and pamphlets and information. I would maybe have some available when you plan on telling them because if someone doesn’t understand then at least we can give them some information, NAMI, is a great resource for that. I’ll link that in the description. You can find a lot of information about mental health and different mental illnesses on their site and how loved ones can help. And also, my YouTube channel. I explain a lot of different diagnoses; what they mean, how we can treat them and hopefully I’m offering up a better understanding. So that your love one can fully grasp what you’re going through and offer up their best support. I hope you found this helpful, so many of you have asked for this video. And I hope that you find it useful. And leave in the comments if I have missed something. If you think there is another step or another thing that you should do when telling a loved one because together we work towards a healthy mind and a healthy body. Am I right? And if you are new to my channel, click here to subscribe and make sure your notifications are turned on. It’s that little bell on my homepage when you subscribe. Turn those on and I will see you next time. Bye!

Comments

(100 Comments)

  • bkbug

    No way I can tell anybody anything of what I'm going through

  • Be happy Be free!!!

    I told my husband about my bulimia and depression but he is really dismissive and doesn't understand.He tells me "stop being stupid, just eat normal and don't throw up, you're fine". So frustrating! When i was at my worse, which was when i told him, it just made me feel even more alone and ashamed, like no one understands and no one can help me. Recently I just told a friend who is a psychologist and she also suffers from depression and anxiety and she totally understands and is very supportive, offering to help me find a good doctor here. It was good to tell her 🙂

  • andre a

    Hi Kati,
    please what is the general length of time in between which mania occurs in bipolar disorder. could it be just once in a lifetime?

  • Jiggaboo Hunter

    Angry Joe verbal diarrhea

  • Kymberlie Belfield

    I always have to clarify with my therapist for what i am diagnosed with.. I also agree lately at work feel like I been having to tell quite a bit of people about a lot of my mental illness and it was hard because I was trying not to tell everyone only a few and I think rumor started with me so I'm gonna have to talk to my boss

  • kotatsu

    Hi, Kati! I have already watched your video on diagnoses, but I was wondering how to convince your parents to get you one (I'm a minor so I can't do it on my own). I've really been struggling with a lot of things and I think it would be useful to be able to actually know what's been going on. So far, I've done lots of research but I'd much rather get a doctor's opinion.

  • mel mel

    I often feel like I'm not sick enough. Wether it's my doctor or my counselor, they don't really take me seriously because I'm able to get out of bed most days, can still study for my finals etc. I really want to go see a psychiatrist and get a real diagnosis and maybe some meds, because I feel like I need that. I am stuck in my depression and don't know how to get out. But I think that no one thinks I'm depressed enough or in danger, because I don't trust my counselor enough to tell her about my suicidal thoughts…..

  • Evelyn K

    #KatiFAQ Hi Kati, thank you for your channel! It's awesome! I have a question regarding procrastination. Can procrastination be a coping mechanism? I noticed that I have been able stopping procrastination by self-harming me in other ways (cutting) for some period. Since I stopped self-harm my procrastination got worse and I'm not able to meet deadlines at all anymore. My life’s getting chaotic and I don't know how to manage it anymore. I tried all the tips with small steps, short to-do-lists and reasonable goals but I couldn't change my behaviour this way. So, after watching a few of your videos I guess I looked at all the wrong places if I use procrastination as a coping skill it might be that I have to learn to manage my emotions and not my time. Please let me know what you think about this: Can procrastination serve as coping skill?

  • CooleMaus03

    Oh Kati I would have needed this a month earlier… <3 But thank you it helped me a lot!

  • Marcella Ward

    Hi Kati, I use a psychiatric service animal (different from an emotional support animal). It seems that a lot of mental health professionals don't understand the difference. How could someone with severe panic attacks or dissociation explain this to their therapist? My therapist has personally mentioned how much she's learned from me and how task trained service dogs can really help those with mental illness. I'm fairly new to your channel but have been watching video after video. Your passion gives me comfort and is something I love about watching your videos. You really care and it shows!

  • annisa echa

    Hey kati i like your videos!! Its easy too understand and fun. I want to ask you did you in psychology is there any study or something that talk about why people cheating from their partners? Because recently i've been dating with someone and i dont have any idea that he's actually married. Just found the fact that he's married recently and he denied that. When i show him the prove he even still can say no its not me. At the end he even feel like he's the one that get lie from me. So i leave him. I know some girl also cheating, but if there anything that might related with psychology things can you make the video about that? Thanks

  • Emma

    If you are working towards a career in nursing/medicine/psych/occupational therapy, you generally do have to declare this to an occupational health nurse in your organisation. it's confidential… but it's also important because NOT declaring it and then having it found out about could end with a termination of employment or disciplinary action. I was specifically asked if I had EVER experienced mental distress, such as stress, anxiety or depression, or a more serious mental illness. I also had to declare that I had eczema, and any medication I was on. I declared anorexia and the nurse who was taking me through the medical check was absolutely incredible. She told me I did not need to disclose this to anyone, made sure I was supported and made sure I knew to contact her if I was finding the new job stressful. it was about my safety and the safety of my clients 😊

  • Adam Reilly

    Hey Kati. Do you have any books and suggestions to help those interested in learning about psychology?

  • Daniel

    You look like hanna mckay from dexter 🙂

  • holly

    Your videos always seem to come out at just the right time!!

  • Veronika Kruk

    Hi Kati, hi Kinions,
    I love you all so so much. This community gives me comfort and makes me feel safe. Thank you for everything ❤️

  • Umber Moore

    Hey Kati, can you make a video on schizoid personality disorder? thank you

  • xXs.vXx beauty_10

    too late I had the verbal diarrhea w/ a co worker. I have ocd. and because it's a part of me I thought I'd let her know. now after watching your video, I regret saying anything.. 🙁

  • Nat Mickan

    I was nervous but ok at telling my now-partner about my diagnoses (BPD/complex PTSD), but found it much harder when it came time to have a discussion about causes/resulting triggers. My therapist didn't necessarily approve, but I ended up doing it as a PowerPoint presentation because I wasn't at a point where I was able to verbalise those parts of my history. Unconventional, yes, but I'm so glad I was at least able to convey it, regardless of how (and my partner completely appreciated that I shared that with them, and why verbalising it was just too hard.

  • Crystal Gagnon

    thank you so much for this video. Unfortunately I'm one of those who told her boss and coworkers I had anxiety and depression. scared them all and pretty much got yelled at for "not doing my job". even though I went through the process of doctor notes and they still treated me like crap after 8 years of full time work. some people will never understand an mental illness unless they want too.

  • Kam:p*Fai:r

    This is very helpful! I have just been through this process (of telling people whom I "want" to tell) about my MDD for the past few weeks, still in this process; it was exhausting at first but exactly as you mentioned, it gets better after several times of saying them out loud and the later ones I can actually focus on the responses and interact with the persons I was talking to.

    I think I've been fortunate that almost all the people I have talked with about this have had positive responses or at least shown compassion and interest in understanding about it…

    Having said that, there are certainly going to be some people whose reactions/responses make you feel uneasy, to say the least — I got in that kind of situations 1-2 times… and it took me some times to get over it. Of course with anxiety&depression, I couldn't easily just ignore those reactions and say "f* it if they don't want to understand or if they still believe in the stigmas, not my problem."… but I eventually managed to get through though 🙂

    @Kati Morton I think suggestions on "how to deal with negative reactions from people about your mental health issues" maybe useful to many if you haven't done one already! – i've watched many of your clips and they are extremely helpful!!! though I couldn't watch them all yet! Thanks!

  • Monique Mccray-Vasquez

    I told my family about my Generalized anxiety disorder and someone said and I quote " every one has stress you obviously need to grow up and figure out how to deal with life". I feel like going no contact is the best thing for me but I'm afraid others will see me as immature. HELP

  • GHOST IN THE BLUR

    I don't have loved ones, that's the hard part, my family don't love me, they neglecters, I don't even exist to them.

  • Jeane Alex

    I'm going to start therapy soon, I was referred by my social worker. it's because of sexual abuse and I'm kinda scared about what she will ask for. I don't really talk about my feelings a lot I'm just totally silent when someone wants me to talk about myself. I'm 15 so I don't rly wanna talk about some things, cause that'll get me in trouble. How would it be like in the first session? Will she talk to me if I don't really speak up?

  • Evelyn K

    #KatiFAQ Hi Kati, thank you for your channel! It's awesome! I have a question regarding procrastination. Can procrastination be a coping mechanism? I noticed that I have been able stopping procrastination by self-harming me in other ways (cutting) for some period. Since I stopped self-harm my procrastination got worse and I'm not able to meet deadlines at all anymore. My life’s getting chaotic and I don't know how to manage it anymore. I tried all the tips with small steps, short to-do-lists and reasonable goals but I couldn't change my behaviour this way. So, after watching a few of your videos I guess I looked at all the wrong places if I use procrastination as a coping skill it might be that I have to learn to manage my emotions and not my time. Please let me know what you think about this: Can procrastination serve as coping skill?

  • Majd Haddad

    Hey Kati, can you please diagnose if I have depression or not? It's not easy to find a psychiatrist where I live and people have low level of information about mental illness. I think of suicide very often during the week and this is really affecting my studies and grades. can't say that I have any friends who'd listen to me.I'd love to get some help from you and I hope to hear from you soon.

  • Hannah Ratcliffe

    I have just gotten into a new relationship and I've been struggling to figure out how to tell him properly about my mental illness (anxious avoidant personality disorder and depression in the past), this video has really helped and gave me some ideas how to tell him properly, he knows slightly but doesn't understand it fully

  • Abbie Higgins

    I told my friend because i felt like i was ready for some support and not to be alone. Turns out he also self harms too so I now have somebody who understands supporting me. The next step is my family but im not sure how they will react. How did your parents react?

  • slidesandspoons

    Hey Kati, I have a question. So I know that I have anxiety and panic attacks but my parents don't think I do. I don't feel comfortable talking to them as they tend to downplay this stuff. I am seeing a therapist but she's not helping me very much, and I want to see someone else but my mom doesn't think that I'm bad enough to need someone new. I'm not sure how to prove to my mom that I am struggling (I'm a teenager so she thinks it's just horomones)

  • K.C Daniela

    Kati my question is I am getting bullied and the bullies are telling me to go kill myself and I am getting stressed out over it so I have started burning and cutting myself and I don't know how to control it !!!! And every day I have been having suicidal thoughts. and telling myself that I am going to commit suicide but I never do I have been having voices inside my head telling me to hurt myself but I don want to Kati plz answer I want this to stop and I want the voices to STOP what do I do Xxxxxxx

  • Molly Thorpe

    I need advice, I'm a fifteen year old who suffers from a severe anxiety disorder. Most of my teachers already know about this but as it's getting closer to year 11 (the final year in secondary school,) I'm going to have teachers that I may not have had before and that I won't trust as much as the teachers I already have. I'm not quite sure how to tell them as I'm scared they'll judge me for my metal health disorder or tell me I'm 'faking it' when I'm not. Any ideas on how I can tell them?

  • No Thanks

    I think I'm dealing with OCD (again), but my symptoms are so mild and nothing compared to how much they've messed me up before. I may be obsessing about my symptoms in itself, really, and it's stupid and confusing, but I'm just scared I'm being a hypochondriac and madly exaggerating things that really only bother me… idk, a few hours a week maybe. Plus the time spent worrying about when to seek help. Everyone always talks about starting therapy super late and when they're at a point where they can't function and I feel like I'm the opposite. What do I do…? :/ When is something bad enough to be considered bad enough for therapy? How much does it have to bother me?

  • choosexolove

    I was wondering- how can we tell other professionals about a past trauma? I have a history of sexual trauma and certain appointments, like going to the gynecologist for example, can be very overwhelming and triggering. I'm embarrassed to have to let them know but I feel that if they are aware it would help them be more mindful of their language, and pace of the appointment. Any advice would be greatly appreciate! @katimorton

  • Ebony Rose

    Yay, this is the video I suggested on a livestream!! So glad to see it made and made so well! Love it Kati, thank you so much!

  • skeletons in scarves

    please tell me if im wrong to feel this because im told its bad:

    i know im guilty of oversharing but whenever i want someone to know this part about me especially in the work place and it always ended up with someone always saying, "well i have this and im not bluh bluh bluh like that bluh bluh bluh" i only wanted them to know because i know there are going to be times this mental illness is going to keep me from doing my job because its happened before a few times.

  • Melissa Morales

    hi i just wanted to know if you can make a video about an (ESA) emotional , support, animal.
    and how to get an ESA letter thank you love your videos they really help me

  • Olesya Yatsenko

    Kati, I just wanted to thank you for your videos! They gave me the courage to start going to therapy, I was so scared and clueless about it, thanks for all the knowledge you share with people and keep doing what you do! Lots of love.

  • Nonogobberboy13

    What are the ways to keep your mental health towards private people , like people you love to public people ?

  • Tatenda Madondo

    Can you please make a video about Onision. He and his "wife" have a video called "why I'm still with Onision" and he's gaslighting her and being really abusive. And she's crying non-stop. It's so disturbing to watch. A lot of his videos are like that. I'd love to hear your take on it.

  • NiharM77

    Hi Kati, I'm on vacation in San Fransisco, and I was wondering what you think about the Golden Gate bridge and its connection to suicide, why do people choose this spot? and what do you think of the net supposedly being built? (If you think it will be effective at reducing suicide)?

  • Hayley Roberts

    love the videos. they helped me to find help when I though I was fine. do you still do the #katifaq because I have a question(s) because I don't wanna bring it up if it's not something. Thanks xxx

  • scott olson

    i am 52 years old. i was raped by my dentist in high school. my parents said it never happened. i have overcome a lot. i cannot be intimate with anyone. i mean i cannot hug or kiss anyone

  • katharina

    ''You don't have to tell anybody if you don't want to'' YES YES YES

  • Hunter Smoot

    Thanks for this 🙂

  • Chloe S

    Hey kati, how would you go about telling someone you want to die. Are they they same point as the video states or are there different point to think about.

  • Courtneylovesreading411

    Hi Kati. Will you please make a video about recovering from burn out.

  • tjacello

    Do you think it's a bad idea to tell someone through a text or over social media? Sometimes it's easier that way but maybe not as sincere?

  • Eloise Marie

    A really great video. Thanks so much Kati for sharing how to handle what can be such a difficult path to take. My friends know but I still haven't told my family what I am struggling with. Just a note, I had a hard time hearing your audio over the music when it was playing.

  • YellowBessie

    Thank you for emphasizing caution about disclosing at work! Because that's really important. Not just for mental health concerns, but for all medical conditions.

    I know many people (particularly younger folks) who are used to safe environments (school, the internet, etc) where discussing illness is the norm. That's not the case 'out there' in the workplace.

    If you need accommodations, go to HR. They handle those matters.
    A few special jobs may require that you disclose mental health conditions. If so, report through the appropriate channels (they will be abundantly clear), state the facts straightforwardly, and be prepared to prove that you're treatment-compliant.

  • Heather

    Because I have my own tutoring business with international students, I had to lie and say I was in the hospital icu because of complications with my back. I have to take off the whole summer. I might lose a bunch of students. I am freaking out, but those closest to me say I need the time off.

  • Mt. Chewie

    I honestly came out on Facebook about my diagnosis with Bipolar 1 disorder.

  • Barbara Hewitt Agerley

    Hi Kati, thank you so much for this vlog. I am a language teacher with Bipolar disorder type 2, I am not medicated but I am in psychotherapy instead. Good news, I have been stable since 2011 (with some minor ups and downs, but who doesn't have those) and I am a mother to two amazing kids (9 and 5) that have learn about mental illness as something part of our lives and something that can affect everybody.
    You are not only helpful to me with your advices and your examples but also to my students here in Sweden. My students are between 13 and 16 y.o. and many times don't know where to look for information about their diagnosis or feelings.
    You are fun and easy to understand and since you look and are so young it is easier for teenagers to listen to you.
    Thank you one more time for your beautiful work. Loads of love to you <3
    Ps. It could be really cool if you had subtitles in Spanish 😉

  • westman1972

    KATI PLEASE READ THIS COMMENT>Kati, I just wanted to let you know that I enjoy and learn from your videos. My siblings knew I had mental illness but they just thought I was on social security because jut have anxiety and depression. I have a lot of of diagnosis but the most crucial one is my Schizo-affective with … and …and ….and auditory hallucinations is just part of it.(Not everyone needs my diagnosis).
    My brother even said when I messaged them (among all of my siblings), I told them what was wrong with me….clinically and I sent them 2 links.

    Kati Morton…

    https://youtu.be/S6gqILp8NaQ?list=PLfBDvMaWf_1TRolG0obwdF-EKqSdMf8oQ

    and Anderson Cooper's video…

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yL9UJVtgPZY .

    They thought yours was the most revealing and helpful to understand. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I love your insight and the way you explain things. However, my opinion is that you ought to have a separate you-tube channel for your Live Streams, You are kind of driving me away from your channel (witch I love) because I keep seeing videos on your page that look like something I want to watch, but then I notice they are over 2 hours long. I mean who can concentrate that long? I don't know, maybe it is just me… but, ciphering through your videos they are becoming more and more. It gets kind of hard when you read a title and it sounds interesting and you want to watch it, but then it is 2 hours long. Just my opinion. You might be losing a subscriber. Please address this.

  • Naitik Gandhi

    Kati I am from India I am going through psychosis I have a pychiatric doctor I have got psychosis from about ten years when I'll be completely okay

  • Archive

    Don't forget boundaries – who are you comfortable with that person sharing this info with? Can they talk to your therapist if they have questions?

  • Izaac Wopz

    I would talk to them about your symptoms first. Do not label yourself. Labels makes them believe you are insane and it would scare them away. For example, I would say "I get extremely anxious when I meet new people, but you can't tell because I keep it inside", instead of saying, "I have Avoidant Personality Disorder" because what they hear is "I am insane, and I'm gonna murder you slowly!".

  • NextGoodThing

    This is such an important video. Wow. I love that the first thing you do in this video is to tell people that they are allowed to disagree with the diagnosis. I have been misdiagnosed before, and it took me a year to speak up for myself!

  • Riza Ghosal

    I recently tried telling my parents about my problems and said that i need help. All they did was ignore me, like I was invisible. I have been trying to tell them from a few days now. I recently started having nightmares also, where I am screaming for my mom and she just ignores me, then walks away. Now, I feel that the nightmare were just a hint at this. I don't think that i will ever be able to tell my mom again 'cause they don't believe in depression or anxiety, its just laziness or being sad or finding excuses to not do anything.

  • Ukkonen Koira

    As far as the work goes, especially if you use insurance through work, does it get reported to them? I've heard about this happening to people and it negatively affecting them because employers found their diagnoses and started treating them poorly

  • Meriah Calvert

    A few weeks ago I attempted suicide, and ended up loosing my job.
    I worked at a very small christian preschool as a 3 year old teacher. All of ud as coworkers were very close. I'm devastated that I lost my job. It hurts, because my job was the only thing that got me out of bed. My boss and I were very close, so she knew a lot of what I was struggling with. So when she let me go, I felt very betrayed.
    What should I do next? Can she fire me because of my mental illness. (I was diagnosed with severe PTSD in 2016)

  • ihartevil

    i got blocked by 2 different people for 2 different stupid reasons

    one person blocked me because i told them they were very talented and that i wanted to donate money to them

    the other person blocked me because i told them about my BPD and they just figured i was lying when i told them it morphed into split and they did a 15 second google search and said that isnt possible

    with that person i could always send them that stuff and if i really wanted to i could get a little treepie birdy mad at them but i dont really care that i am blocked my them at all

    i probably will send them all of the vids you make about BPD and split/dissociation when you make more of them as for right now i am just going to leave it alone

    when i got blocked the treepie birdie just said it has to be more then just autism and the others that worked with him knew that it was BPD that got turned into split and they are fine with it and totally believe me its funny that he didnt get the memo or that his friend didnt tell him thats why he blocked me was for saying that

    truth i am way to amused to care i think it would make for a great post game when i get my dream job next year

    thx for this ha bisky vid i am very open about my mental fucked upness and the majority of people dont care (i dont talk about it with my parents at all and my friends i see a lot i havent told them i have BPD yet i thought i was getting my dream job this year i bombed the interview so i have to try again next year

    i havent decided if i am going to tell them or not because my BPD is fine when i am not stressed out or being abused

  • ihartevil

    everybody at my dream jobs already knows i get treated no differently because of it thats why when i bombed the interview because my autism was acting up and i didnt walk around when i felt like i should have i didnt get the job

    i dont know if my BPD had something to do with it but i am so taking him off guard next year i even have the industry pass and i am just going to have so much fun doing so i even created rules so he understands youtube is my turf

  • Esme Shore

    I was diagnosed with Dysthymia (Persistent Depressive Mood) 18 months ago.
    I'm going through hell at the moment. I just walked out on my partner, who I really love, because my thoughts were telling me that they didn't want me anymore.

  • Allee Rounds

    I have such a hard time talking about the way I'm feeling. with my therapist and I feel so bad Bc I feel like she gets mad at me or something because I never know what to say and get really really nervous during sessions. also my therapist has never said for sure what I have. when will I get a diagnosis? I have been going for about 2 and a half months now

  • TWDL RG

    My problem isn't telling my family. It's me not knowing what to say when someone I know that I run into or on a first date asks me where I work at. And I panic and think omg what am I gonna say?! Because I don't work anymore because I draw disability because of all my mental problems I have. And I'm so afraid they will judge me no matter who it is or if it's a guy on the first date, I'm afraid I'll scare him off. Please help me and tell me what I need to do or say. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has been caught off guard and asked that.

  • Prakriti Joshi

    #KatiFAQ Hey Kati, I am 21 years old. In these 21 years of my life I haven't been able to share or create a good bonding with anyone whether it be with friends or family. I have never had anyone close to me. I don't know how to talk to people. It may seem like such a small problem but me not being able to communicate with people is ruining my life. When I am with people my mind becomes blank like I have never known how to talk , I don't know how to react while in conversation, I forget how to laugh and after this episode of interaction finishes I get a headache. Because of this no one is interested in me. My friends think I am weird and they try to avoid hanging out with me alone. I feel like I don't fit in this world and I feel really like a outsider. Why am I not able to communicate even though I try so hard to I just can't, my mind goes blank??

  • Victoria

    Everyone I have told about my mental illness end up ignoring me. It takes a lot from the to tell anyone this and when I do they just don't care

  • Count Bathory

    Dont do it its a trap!

  • BroPanda Gaming

    Thanks

  • Jady Brasil

    #KatiFAQ Hi Kati. Before say to you my question I have to say thank you. I started seeing your videos, and they are help me a lot. (By the way, I’m brazilian, so sorry about the bad english). So, I’m 22 years old and I’m self-harm since I was 16, the first time I did was like a escape, a way to relax, and also because I thought I deserved it. It was not long until they find out, that's was when the people in the house where I lived started to say: ‘’you are pretending’’ ‘’you just want attention’’. They also said I’m strange, and they were afraid that I could hurt them, but what they said must were that I’m was pretending. They said this so much that I’m started to believe, until today I’m afraid to be pretending, I do not believe in my feelings, I always have a thought that I’m pretending, something tells me that deep down I do not have a problem, that I use the self-harm just to get attention even when I never show these scars for anybody. Is it possible that I’m pretending? (please, please, please answer me).

  • Uyghur Tocharian

    Whenever I did this, I would get dumped.

  • Steve Houghton

    You are better off keeping it to yourself. The social stigma is not worth it. No matter what others tell you, you will be labeling and alienating yourself, putting a target on your back, giving others reasons to talk about you behind your back. You have to fake it around others. No one wants to be around a depressed person. People will avoid you . That's the crappy truth. The stigma is real. This is the sad truth.

  • Rick Thomas

    I have only recently started watching videos on mental health. I have been using them to help understand myself and
    better describe what I relate to when speaking to my therapist. Your videos have been such an awesome resource and your
    personality is a wonderful bonus.

  • Jean Fox

    Walking the hallways of my school, I look around at smiling faces, laughing people, and waving hands.
    I mirror their motions, knowing that they all see me as the funny, happy, optimistic, and brilliant kid.
    But at the same time, I measure each of their faces carefully. On a good day and a bad day, they're all the same. Only rarely do people stare at my blank face as I pace in front of my locker. None of them know. None of them realize that half the time I laugh because I want to feel something other than numbness, or that I make jokes because I try to act normal. They don't know that half of my personality is fake, just me trying to be as normal as possible. I bet none of them knew how I wanted to die over the weekend, or that I cried every single day for two weeks straight and still don't know why. None of them have any clue that I suffer from depression.
    I like it this way, but it also kills me.
    At least my best friends know…

  • Shubhankar Das

    I have anxiety disorder and whenever I try tell someone about this even when I was in therapy, whenever I try explain my anxiety it gets so high that I just cannot speak. My mouth dries out, I start shaking… But still some way I do it… I just hope I could have done better… I mean even while writing this simple comment at every word I think if erasing it all switching of my phone and just forgetting about it… But kati your videos really helped me a lot…you are really doing a great job…

  • Ian Kynaston-Richards

    Hi Kati, I'm finding your videos so helpful at the moment.

    I have a question relating to this one though. I'm wondering about when I should tell my new partner about my mental illness (BPD). Part of me thinks that I should spill the beans at an early stage, so they can decide whether or not to get involved, but then, doing that seems to be the kiss of death for any interest they might have. You said in the video that you didn't think anyone should have to disclose their mental health status, but is there not a moral imperative to do so to a prospective partner?

  • Dory 79Cast

    My best friend doesn't believe that I have a mental illness. I don't know what to say or do to help her understand. I even gave her some things to read and still thinks it is something doctors made up to gain money. It really hurts that when I feel horrible I can't depend on her understanding when I need to talk

  • Ali Hayman

    it was hard to tell people closest to me about my diagnosis at 19 I am 23 now. not sure if you'll see this but if so great!

  • MR

    Thanks for the useful information. A question: What if you can't be honest even with your therapist?

  • Chantal Dupont

    Thank you for info👍😎

  • Máscara Morada

    As of recently I've discovered your channel and finally got myself to seek help at school. Of course, I only told my friends about me going and they understand, but I want to be open with my parents about what I feel and how it's valid. Of course, I understand it's my choice to tell, I would feel better to have them in on the picture to be more understanding to my situation. I'm not sure of its a cultural mindset or just the stigma, but other than pamphlets and general information, how can I speak to them and not let it become a lecture. Thank you again Kati!

  • Kymberlie Belfield

    I had huge issue with this at work.. luckily I was able to be transferred somewhere else.. so glad I still have my job 4 years

  • Care Bear

    I was the personal history dumptruck. 🤐

  • snj prl

    I think this is especially difficult for people who are / have become very good at coping with their illness and are successfully managing their therapy schedule as well as their day to day life. Only my husband knows about my diagnosis and has actually become an expert at observing the symptoms, (if they occur) but with friends and family it’s kind of odd sometimes because I would love to let them know on one hand but then don’t want them to feel sorry for me or look at me through different lenses. And yet there are so many times when – especially family and old friends – refer to something „that used to happen a lot (for example not sleeping for several days straight)“ or say things like „Yup you were always weird in that sense (talking fast and incoherently) and I would love to let them know the true reason why I behaved the way I did back then…

  • no homo

    How do you tell somebody you THINK you have it?

  • Aruna Udaiyar

    I tried to slowly layer on my bpd to my mom, but she got really mad and told me to snap out of it or I would have to go for therapy and pay for it out of my own pocket.

  • David Dockrell

    Thankyou so much for this video Kati.

    I have a long history of mental health issues and I've always been afraid of how that will affect other people and how they will respond to that. That's led to me withdrawing socially amongst other things. I'm working with a therapist at the moment to try and improve that, and one of the biggest challenges that I'm facing is that I have no idea how to reveal my mental health issues to people. I feel that any social interactions I have are pretty meaningless if people don't understand my issues, because although they don't define me, they do have a really profound influence on my behaviour. I've experienced rejection and prejudice because of my issues and I know that my issues have negatively affected other people around me. I'd like to try and protect people from my issues, while at the same time getting my social needs met. It's a really difficult balance.

    This video has helped clarify my thoughts and give me some direction. I really appreciate it.

  • Two of Pentacles

    Hi Kati. You are a blessing ! Thank you!

  • I do not exist

    I just don't feel like I can tell my Mum yet but I do need someone and I haven't told my friends. Please can someone help me. When I was 8 or 9 I told my Mum I wanted to die, and recently she asked me and said no because I was scared… please someone help me.

  • Information My name is classsified

    I would like to get into therapy, but I wouldnt be able to do it without my family noticing it. I think they would treat me like I am disabeld or that I would kill myself if I was alone for one second. And I wouldnt be able to tell them that they are a big cause of my deppression. Probably I'll wait until I move out (like 10 years from now, im 13 now) so I can get to therapy without them judging me,or making it a big deal.

  • Coby Underground

    I lost my teaching job after word spread. They as well have branded me. But of course who wants their kid in being by a bipolar nut case?

  • HazyHallows

    I only tell the ones i work with because i get really angry at times and i dont want them to take it personally so ill apologize in advance because their are times i dont always realize when im going into an episode of manic or depression but im getting better at seeing signs before it happens

  • Christine Obote

    Hi Christine I had mental illness I went to hospital I didn't feel too good I have bipolar I got up and down sometimes it's really hard sometimes I feel good it's hard to chat to people but it's good that everybody else is the same I did went to hospital and they need to wear a life but I realise I did have friends but people don't understand sometimes too sometimes you need help

  • Eric Alex Anderson

    I'm lucky I already had to come out as gay. It really helps me with this sort of thing right now. Honesty is key.

  • Moss

    This is crazy helpful. I don't have a mental illness (as far as I know), but about 3 years ago I hit my lowest point and was *Trigger Warning* self harming and thinking seriously about suicide. It's not near as bad now, but sometimes I struggle with it. *TW over*
    It's been such a large part of my life that I feel the need to tell someone. It feels like a huge secret I've been hiding, just waiting for the right people/time to tell it. I'm in college now and found an absolutely wonderful group of people I trust, but I don't know when or who exactly to tell/tell first. I wrote down how I hoped the conversation would go, and it ended up just being a super long word vom until the end where I was like "umm, I've never gotten this far. why did I even tell you? what did I want to get out of this conversation?", cuz it's not like I wanted anything to change really. I just wanted to tell someone. But then what does that get me? Someone knows I ~did stuff~ 3 years ago now. Cool. Next topic. Maybe an "I'm sorry that happened to you" and then an awkward silence til we get on another subject? That's what I figure would happen. I'm at a crossroads on what to do, cuz I've wanted to tell someone for so long, and now I have a chance, but there's no reason other than that I just want to get it out there. I guess I just want to share the burden and not carry it alone anymore.
    Well, I guess I just found an answer by word vom'ing again. Input from anyone is still appreciated cuz I still have a lot to think about on the subject. Thanks Kati for having a comment section for me to figure things out in, lol.

  • Brynn Noelle

    How do you talk to your siblings that dont believe you or anything mental health related

  • Fireweb 123

    I'm a teen with little money, and i dont know how to tell my family that i dont think im ok and i need help. What the hell do i do?

  • justin van

    I had to tell my parents that I have hallucinations….was pretty fk'd up

  • Black Snow

    I trying to tell a friend about my d.i.d or ( split personality disorder) but i don't know how because d.i.d is rare but i feel like i need to tell someone

  • Crazy Cat

    People want to help me and I don't know how to handle it. Sometimes they want to use and abuse me

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