The Psychology of Con Artists, and How to Avoid Them | Maria Konnikova

The Psychology of Con Artists, and How to Avoid Them | Maria Konnikova


While there’s really no way to tell if someone
is lying, so there’s no way to spot deception and say you’re not telling the truth, and
there’s no such thing as the Pinocchio’s nose of lying, no one sign that will tell you this
person is not to be trusted. But we can learn to recognize some of the
persuasive techniques that people might use to try to get us on their side. Unfortunately it starts with getting us to
like them. And so once you like someone it’s much more
difficult to spot these things because you’re already subjective. But how do people get you to like them? Well, we like people who are similar to us
and we like people who like the things we like. We like people who are familiar to us, oh,
I’ve seen you around. I know who you are. And people who are trying to sell us something,
be they con artists or just softer sales people, they know this and so they latch onto characteristics
about us that are pretty apparent. They might find out that I’m from the Boston
area and say, “oh the Red Sox,” and try to see my reaction. Am I an avid Red Sox fan? If I am the conversation will now go in that
direction. All of a sudden we’re bonding over baseball. This can’t be a bad person. And now all of a sudden they’re selling me
something but now from a very different point of view, from a point of view of a friend
of someone who’s a buddy, of someone who’s really cool rather than the point of view
of someone who is a sales person. So that’s something to be on the lookout. Although it’s terrible because I’m basically
saying hey don’t make new friends. But what I mean is if a friendship advances
very, very quickly and on very superficial basis and is followed very soon there after
by a request then that might be a red flag that the request might be something that you
want to think twice about. Then there are ways of framing requests that
we know are more likely to be successful. For instance, there’s a technique that’s called
the foot in the door. Get your foot in the door and then you can
ask for what you really want. So how do you get the foot in the door? First you ask for something really, really
small. So I might ask you for just two minutes of
your time. I want your opinion on a purchase I’m making. And I know that I really trust your opinion
on cell phones so can you just help me out do you like your phone? What do you like about it? Okay. Wonderful. Thank you so much. We’re done. A few weeks later you might ask me to donate
or rather I might ask you since I’m the one who is the con artist in this scenario, I
might ask you to write me a letter of recommendation or donate an hour of your time to a volunteer
organization I work for or whatever my real ask is. But because you’ve helped me in the past,
even though it was a very, very small favor that you were asking, you’re much more likely
to help me now because we like to be consistent. And if we think that we’re nice people who
help others because we’ve already helped someone we’re going to keep helping. Plus, if I’m the type of person who was worth
helping once I’m worth helping again because clearly you didn’t make the wrong decision
the first time around. So repeat requests are really hard to say
no to, but sometimes we have to. Sometimes you have to realize that you know
what, just because I said yes once doesn’t mean that I should say yes a second time and
it doesn’t make me a bad person to say no. It’s one of those things that you have to
give yourself permission to say no and you have to give yourself permission to exit situations
that we don’t feel comfortable in. There’s a technique called the door in the
face, which is the opposite of the foot in the door. So you ask for something egregious. I don’t really know you very well but I’m
going to ask you to spend a day at the zoo with my students. And you’re going to say are you insane, in
your mind, you probably wouldn’t say this to my face, but you’re certainly going to
say no because that’s something that’s really a huge amount of time. So then a few weeks later I’ll say, “Oh no
course I totally understand. It’s a huge imposition. I totally get it. Don’t worry about it.” A few weeks later I come back to you and say,
“Hey, would you be willing to come in and talk to my class for an hour and then answer
some questions?” You’re going to say yes, even though that’s
a huge request still. And if I had just asked you that you probably
would have said no but you’re still feeling so guilty about saying no the first time around,
even though I said that I really didn’t mind and that I totally understood, you’re going
to be feeling so guilty that you’re going to say yes. Door in the face. First you make them slam the door in your
face because slamming the door in someone’s face feels terrible and we hate feeling like
bad human beings so then we’ll try to redeem ourselves and then we’ll become your best
friend; we’ll keep helping you. Once again, something that uses human emotions
and our perception ourselves against us. We want to feel like good people. Con artists know this and they take advantage
of it by making us do things that will make us feel like good people. And putting us in situations where it’s really
difficult to refuse because refusing would mean we’re not good people and that’s not
a feeling that we’re comfortable with at all. They also love using, you know, if we talk
about other argumentative strategies a lot of it has to do with scarcity, you know, get
it while it’s hot; this isn’t going to last. When ever anyone puts time pressure on you
that’s a really bad sign. Now I know that certain companies when they’re
making you a job offer they’ll make it an exploding offer, so this job offer is only
on the table for the next 48 hours and if you don’t take it it’s gone. A lot of people will take that job offer,
whereas if they had a moment to cool down and to think about it they would have realized
that it’s not good for them. Well, you would think that employers aren’t
con artists, but that is a page right out of the con artist playbook. How do you pressure people into doing something
that they might not otherwise do for your own ends because you want that person to take
this job? Well, if you really wanted them but you were
playing by the rulebook you would give them time to think about it. Making it an exploding offer puts them in
a situation where, again, they’re emotionally hot, they can’t reflect and so they feel like
they can’t say no. Because what happens, you know, we’re right
back with uncertainty, what happens if I have no job? What happens if nothing else comes up and
I say no? I can’t run that risk. This might not be quite right for me but I’m
just going to accept it. Con artists put us in that situation all the
time. They just fill the world with exploding job
offers. People who are trying to persuade us, whether
they’re con artists, whether they’re business people, whether they’re sales people, whether
they’re politicians, they really key in on the human desire to say yes. And the fact that we often just don’t want
to exit a situation because we don’t know how, we don’t know how to get out of it and
still feel like good people, still maintain our dignity. And so knowing how to say no is I think the
crucial lesson that we can learn for extricating ourselves out of a lot of these persuasive
situations.

Comments

(100 Comments)

  • mj101inf

    She's describing sales techniques but not con artists. Their game is to use your own greed against you by promising a big reward for little or nothing put in. But yes, they pressure you into making a decision faster for fear of losing out. They don't want you to have time to think about if things are on the level or not. Anytime somebody tries to push me into agreeing too fast I say NO.

  • Russ Wilson

    No is the most powerful word in any language.

  • Adam K. Made Me Watch This!

    I love when women don't wear bras… "No one will notice". Of course we notice. And they are amazing…

  • nelson a

    i learn to say no most of the time explaining to them my reason and my friends become less.
    i come to realization that if they're meant for you they will stay if not just accept it and move on.

  • Plague Doctor

    "There's no way to spot a liar. Now here's how to spot a liar."

  • Buck Fush

    Same way government brain washes ignorant Americans.

  • Cameron Butler

    Looking at this girl, I see a perfect mark. She's entirely too empathetic, and she doesn't seem very intelligent; can't even keep up with the examples she's creating to support her argument.

    If you don't want to be conned, don't make yourself an easy target. Learn good communication skills. Learn how to let people down, and learn how to make people earn your trust. Also, know that no one is as smart or awesome as they seem. If someone seems perfect in every way, they're probably lying to get something from you.

  • Anshul Pangti

    Omg, I used to practice door on the face on my sister! 😂😂

  • La Kalixa

    Sorry, your lumping people together

  • Book of Terra

    Lol there's quite a few of them hosted on Big Stink

  • Terrapin

    Amazingly helpful, but also very potentially dangerous information.

  • Count Rufus

    Darn.This girl follows in footsteps of Dostoyevsky. Vary informative

  • Davemac1116

    I like this. Interesting. (And I also like Maria Konnikova, too ! She has a lovely engaging way about her).

  • Live Life

    Charity collectors:

    Them: "Donate just $5 a month to our charity for deaf, dumb & blind children, give us your bank details"
    Me: "No"
    Them: " YOU'RE A BAD PERSON"
    Me: "Wait, this is MY hard earned money we're talking about right?" 🤔

  • RecoveringGenius

    This chick is an academic moron.

  • etmax1

    Beautiful woman with a soothing voice and lovely facial expression. I love watching all the tiny nuances of a face when someone is talking to you and this presenter has many of them. A few small ones that seemed to conflict with the preceding and following ones, but she would make a brilliant con-artist. Love the way the message was presented.

    My hairs stand on the back of my neck when people try these things, but many people do fall for them.

  • GuitarGrrrilla

    People believe what they want to believe. They want to think they have a chance at getting rich someday so motivational speakers, career coaches, get rich quick schemes, multi-level marketing, etc., are big money makers. Most of those "experts" don't know any more than the rest of us on how to succeed. They make money by telling people what they want to hear.

  • Dusty Tanner

    I have been tricked into moving in with a "friend" who only wanted my money. now I can't AFFORD to move and she knows it…..

  • Tex Prepper

    Funny- "Kon"nikova

  • AlSidre

    Anita Sarkesian and everyone is falling for it.

  • Andrew Lai

    Everyone human being is a con artist. No matter what job you are in. Think about it. You have an extremely shallow mindset only thinking salepeople are con artists.

  • magic fox

    Some moron oganization calling themselves "the NRA of knives" acting so "patriotic" went on a sales pitch right at the end of their massive pitty party (bashing all knife laws even those that make sense like no butterfly knives; the one that helps keeps idiot from wasting hospital rooms others with real problems would need) admitting they are a knife maker and went from a self interest angle showing their real colors. Avoid them if they say "we are the NRA of knives".

  • Peter Pao

    To be a con artist is a skill.It can be consider an occupation.That's why they are artist.We should blame yourself should we be the victim.After all how many of of us have the skill to make other do what we want them to do!Think about it.

  • mimi brown

    okay am I the only one who was relaxed by the sound of her voice as she's explaining this…………..

  • She-Ra Princess of Power

    This woman I met who cleanes and watched kids in a US oil-workers' complex where people earn well. The 1st time I met her she told me (with a duping smile) that she was a kidnapped bride. Long story short, she was raped, beaten, forced to abandon her kids, in financial strife etc etc. In reality she shopped more than I did, slept with a new guy every weekend and used them to buy her drinks, manipulated all of the kind folk in the complex to get gifts and financial help to eventually live in their houses. I saw through her and forbade her to be a part of my life, and she simply used this to get more pity ans sympathy. This woman, with rotting teth from a very poor country with a dramatic story verses a well educated Brit with a very responsible job. It amazed me how foolish people were to her sob story and she it still going strong to this day!

  • Emily

    Wow you nailed Thanks everything a lifesaver!!

  • Coiled Steel

    On-line dating scams some of the most common now. They prey on your particular vulnerabilities, and use your own information you provide against you!

  • Coiled Steel

    Think in old days – maybe 19th Century -town "tar and feathered" scammers.

  • The Mad Librarian

    The trick is to not feel guilty about the demands that others would make on you, particularly when there is a low probability that the demand will be reciprocated. Another is to not respond to pressure. If an offer is valid and fair today, it should also be valid and fair next week.

  • Fuck You

    Warm semen in a cup and she drinks it

  • Robert Patterson

    Nothing to see here folks, move along…..

  • kris wright

    Screw the first person who come up with this stuff it's sick minded people out here

  • Liam Donaldson

    This girl is scary

  • Exalar Hurell

    I agree, Con Artist will act like they "know" you, and will use the traits you're familiar with to open up for conversations, and then will force you into some Idea's and activities you're not comfortable with, they also will use you as pawns for their personal gain's if you stay connected for too long.

  • Wol Schu

    Learn about the science of microexpressions, also listen to your instinct and observe body language. Not so hard to read a lie.

  • Dwayne

    I have a sister who's a con artist.

  • Garry Kusch

    I don't trust anyone so I don't have this problem.

  • donaldandfriends

    Damn her voice is so relaxing, this video is like an asmr video, i wish it was longer i feel relaxed now.

  • paul mryglod

    She looks sensitive to allergies

  • Claudia Bothner

    Thank you for teaching. My bank manager acts as if nice to me, calm, friendly but asks questions not his business, dissuades me from taking my money out and claimed not knowing whether there are national holidays soon (it's only in several weeks). CAn a bank man not know this? Was it to postpone it, make it harder? i get a feeling of deceitfulness about him, but nothing specific except that and the fact that he doesn't show any due compassion for my situation, which dissonates with the nice voice.. Maybe I am just naive, believing someone is being nice when they are calm and have a friendly voice. i think people in service , jobs, would not taka advantage of customers. I Still wonder why he was so"nice" and talked long with me about nothing special. I felt uneasy and afterwards wary and am sure he hid something.I am too stressed to learn before I get sleep.

  • Steve Haas

    Contact. No contact, no con.

  • Jon Bon

    First sentence from this fine young McDonald's worker tells you everything you need to know from the upcoming vid: she has a GED possibly and claps 3rd loudest at her local Tedx concerts

  • Debbie Martin

    Labeling someone a "con artist" is a con job. You're describing a lot of marketing tactics that are taught. Just do what you want to do and stop blaming people for "conning" you. If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. End of story.

  • Brenda North

    WTF did this woman smoke, drink, snort, swallow, or shoot up before this video?

  • Rumelynut

    Within the first 60 seconds Maria described the core traits and characteristics of psychopathy…..why elude to that fact?

  • So Then I Says To The Guy, I Go

    She's basically doing exactly the same thing as these con-artists with all this 'we'-shit she's talking about.. I'm not like the people she describes, does this mean i am a rude human being?

  • Spazzing Falcon

    Sounds like you tube frauds

  • PRINCE INDRAJIT LAW.

    Great 🙏💖😇👍!

  • Ronald Vandermoon

    My "Romance Scammer" started by sending a friend request on Facebook, I checked out her page and there was next to nothing on it (usually a red flag to me) I accepted the request against my usual cautious nature, and she started a conversation. At first, she seemed interested and caring, even wanted to "help" me. The change came the VERY NEXT DAY. She said that she loved me and wanted to marry me… This progressed (FAR TOO LONG) and she started to ask me for small amounts of money IN iTUNES GFT CARDS, $50 then $100. She said she was going to Texas for her sister's wedding. Then she asked for $350 for her and her daughter to get back to New York. I refused and she kept up the pressure, I still refused. Then she asked for just $100 that she got some money from her sister, but not enough. I sent $150 after she promised to pay me back when she got home (NEVER SEEN MY MONEY AGAIN) HER ATTITUDE CHANGED AFTER THAT. SHE SAID SHE GOT SICK AND HAD TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL. I WAS EXPECTING HER TO ASK FOR MORE MONEY FOR THE MEDICAL BILL, BUT NO. FORTUNATELY I DON'T HAVE ANYMORE CONTACT FRO HER AT ALL! NOW IT'S TIME TO CUT OFF ALL CONTACT METHODS FOR HER. I WILL WRITE THIS OFF AS AN EDUCATIONAL EXPERIENCE, ONLY $300, NO PROBLEM. NO MORE ACCEPTING "FLAKEY" "FRIEND REQUESTS" ON FACEBOOK!!!!!!

  • Tien Doan

    The biggest con-artist is women that cheat on their man. Fuck salesman, fuck online gurus. Women are the biggest con-artist of all.

  • citizendc9

    I've noticed a lot of these tactic's are automatically overcome when you place God first in your life and people second.
    Even when approached by supposed Godly people, you don't listen to them before communing with God first. This way any baiting or guilting tactics are ignored until God reveals to you what to do.

  • vaksehund2 .faith alone in jesus

    On Netflix there is a series called "Lie To Me" that teaches you can know when a person is lying. All have the same body language when they lie, are ashamed, are truly happy and so on. You might want to take a look at it 🙂 God bless 🙂

  • Diana Brown

    So true…100!

  • Diana Brown

    Narcissists are con artists/master manipulators/deceivers/pathological liars full of jealousy and envy and who will mind f**k you with gaslighting to emotionally/physically/financially break you down to destroy you if you let them..

  • Ramona Ray

    Yes there is you must use your eyes and ears.

  • rbspider

    How did you get me to watch this video , damn Red Sox.

  • james mayer

    Sure there is a way to know if someone is lying. Character reading is an art-form that can be developed by experience closely observing people. Analytic minds with experience can tell nearly a hundred percent of the time when someone is mendacious.

  • Steven DiBernardo

    Nature – Nurture = we can never say no to anyone, for we are subject to acceptance over the failure to have been given a real love from our parents. We are not as well suited to offspring as might be our natural surroundings, seen in the examples given us by animals in the wild. Sucks to be me.

  • Watson Holmes

    Nice video. I had to speed it up to enjoy it.

  • Sydney Austin

    How come this womans energy makes me feel depressed? (Though reasonably attractive, she draws no enthusiasum from me) Energy is everything in human contact..

  • Lily Val

    What if it's a lover, boyfriend, whatever he is. A player and eternal batchelor & has issues. If he speaks of other woman that was great, younger, showed pic & you have not done anything with your life & wants you as roommate for only few months & says oh of gets a job in Orlando, etc but he is buying a house soon then why ask me to room mate, etc ? I went through hell & lost time this month more than had a good times memorable. It hurts cuz still love him a tiny bit & fell 4 him, but I wanted to see this x around & get closure,etc I ended up losing the closure got from his sorry. I don't know what to think anymore. I will need 4 yrs to heal again. Took 3 to stop loving him & pinning 4 him. I wonder what he is doing rn, etc. Gosh I'm so nice & so stupid to give my heart away so fast. I just get attached quickly. Like when I was 6 & my uncle my mother's half brother was introduced to me that came from other country I instantly cared for him. That's just me & how God created me.

  • Random N

    Did she con'ned us?

  • philsaspiezone

    Grooming behaviour.

  • Bryson Rowden

    Trump.

  • Pretty Boy Pete.

    This is what the evil DEMO-CRACKS NAZI are doing , playing to your emotions. Everything is racist.

  • Lulu Love

    I guy I was seeing was a con artist and had me completely fooled. He knew I had just gotten over a one-sided relationship and was down and he told me his ex died in a car accident so we became friends over that, then started to date… long story short turns out he made the entire story up to gain my sympathy and made up his ex dying to explain where he was in life claiming he lost their house & his job due to her death when he was just a loser who lacked any ambition. This guy wanted a future with me and I almost screwed up my life! It’s so scary .

  • Ryan Jackson

    I would add a lot more to this. I think she focuses a little too much on everyday cons that overlap with normal, healthy behaviors. Making people like you isn't bad, for instance. My father was a conman. He was like a tornado, he'd leave destruction in his wake every place he went. I also have a few family members who shared his psychopathic traits. I've thought excessively about this topic due to all the negative experiences I've had in my life. Here are a few (much better) signs you're dealing with a conman and a psychopath.

    Isolation – my father would make sure that everyone in his life hated each other. He'd spread rumors and say that such-and-such person said such-and-such terrible thing about you and sow discord among friends and family. He got angry and offended that people would speak about what he did to them, and he would make appeals to his right to privacy, and call people who spoke about him negatively gossipers. He did this so that people wouldn't communicate and come to a quicker understanding that they were being conned. Isolated people can't see the overall pattern as easily. I suspect this is part of the reason why he moved around so much, he'd gain so many enemies in a particular area that he had to leave town.

    Repetition – He'd repeat the same lie so many times and so convincingly that people started to believe that it must be true.

    The Blitzkrieg of Bullshit- He'd cause so much drama so persistently that it would be difficult to keep track of what you were mad at him about. You'd be angry and hurt about one thing, and then before you could process that, he'd come again with yet another thing.

    Vagueness – he'd be extremely vague and unspecific about the details of what he did, or what other people did- because he knew that if he told the whole truth then no one would ever agree with him. So say, if he got fired yet again from a job, he'd just say, "my boss was just being an asshole", rather than mention what actually happened in full detail (such as, he was fired for showing up to work high, and he stole from his employer).

    Excessive fragility – He'd act like insults or any means to hold him accountable wounded him far more than they actually did.

    And the list goes on and on and on and on… but I'll stop here.

  • T T.

    Learned this the hard way rofl

  • RadioJHAlex sk1n

    Teachers could get Caught

  • Ch Da

    I think my ex REALLY hates Florida lol

  • Jan truitt

    Thank You!

  • roger guerrero amezquita

    learned the hard way , Now the big Nope is on my forehead

  • George Carlos

    Summary of video:
    Only my way works- there are no other ways.
    Way way overly simplified way of identifying a scammer that will just make you paranoid of EVERYONE.
    I'm sure she knows just, so much, about spotting a scammer, but she's not even a little bit good at talking about it…

  • Rivet Ace

    Con artists get people to think with their emotions.

  • zxcvbnm 666

    She obviously doesnt any significant experience studying con games. This has nothing to do with con artists more sales techniques. She is essentially reading out of an undergraduate social psych book.

  • Gigsro Uiy

    There's a Becky and Pastor David on YouTube their cover page is a Zimbabwe note, they are asking old people for money they're broadcasting it on YouTube, they're always trying to play the victim oh, I want you guys to take a look at this pay attention to this Channel and tell me what you think

  • Toughen Up, Fluffy

    For me the trick is to listen to my own intuition, even if it's only barely discernible. Any time I neglected to do this, I regretted it. Your intuition is adapted for survival—LISTEN to it, and take appropriate action. Don't be afraid to tell people to go away and leave you alone, especially if they don't have your best interests at heart. Intuition will tell you this, if you listen.

  • M

    Learning what people WANT AND NEED beyond what they SAY is a great life lesson. Learn it early.

  • Diamante Dea

    Don’t be weak

  • tauruswinds37

    Covert narcissist are the most cunning of all con artists ….

  • Shane Coetzee

    I am a South African salesman for 11 years already. It sounds like you from the USA…. To be honest with you, and to be truthful YOU ARE SOOOO beautiful. My dad is based there and in the final stage of filing my citizenship. Will post here again when I land. I will sell you something. Sand from Arizona ?

  • DTOM, ¿eStamos?

    obama

  • 真狂言无良

    I see her nipples, sexy

  • KaylaRow

    You’re helping so many people spreading this information. Awesome job 👍🏼

  • DeanRendar84

    if I'm left feeling inferior, either by "innocent" random yet intentionally performed happenstance, its a bad vibe, its a bad zone, and the whole environment has pretty much colluded in a way they'd be up and down denying when the bad vibes and intentional psych deception is more than apparent to those with critical thinking on how it'd be so easy for anything else than what was witnessed to also have occurred.

  • Anonymous

    @Big Think Who is splashing the screen with links at the end of the video? Is it the uploader, or is it YouTube? Just curious.

  • c103110a

    I'm an ice cold bastard to anyone that I don't already know. It works every time, because I fail to be a victim.

  • Koua Vang

    This country voted for Trump so yeah there is alot of retarded people around to be fool. Those who voted for Hillary are also fools

  • Cupcakes stacked on top of one another

    I have no problem saying NO. Am I alone?

  • Westley West

    So much manipulation and psychological terrorism…
    Hey! I’ve tricked you into feeling guilty, now do what I say!

  • Theseus9

    All Leftism is Con Artistry. The old Jews created it….to trick and deceive. All Collectivism….it has many names from Socialism to Marxism to Communism….it's all the same….Collectivism. It's just a grand trick to destroy a nation, but it by no means is a system to rule and govern a nation, it can't.

  • Lefty16Vek

    If you look at this from a Biblical perspective. You realize that no one is a good person. Someone can be a bad person and do good things. Or be a good person that does bad things. It's impossible to be a good person. I think it's easier to see the deception in people if you see it from that point of view.

  • lifeisawar zone

    learn the benefits of saying no, go along to get along does not always work in an abusive pathological country the united states, tribal rules like go along to get along do not work all the time the percentage maybe 80 to 90 percent success rate which is good, it only takes one mis step or trust wrongly placed to end in a destructive outcome

  • lifeisawar zone

    what this lady is not getting is that america is a con game, a militant tribal community constantly abused by the unspeakable terrors of war and life generallyspeaking, american advertising in the hands of a con man edward bernay, america is a cold war community, oops i almost forgot to remind you, did you remember to lock the front door this morning, damn it

  • Ass Hole

    What is this lady with huge nipples and no bra in a sweater saying?

  • Hemal lim

    I got trapped after watching videos about being kind to strangers 😠

  • Morgan Mayfair

    I read an interview with a young man, very handsome, who was used by criminals to lure young women into unsafe places in order to abduct them for human trafficking… I think of myself as a young woman and shudder, because most of us are fools at that age.

  • Cait3 Holtzback

    ●Ask you to do an hour of volunteer work? For a reputable organization? This is a con? What? This example should have led somewhere bad, but it did not. Non-profits ask for help as a general rule. Where was this leading? Just say no. This ticks me off. I've volunteered with several excellent non-profits, so … uh, whatever.
    ●I agree with her later examples of hard-sell, high pressure techniques. Never go for any hard-sell of anything EVER.
    ● Absolutely learn to say, "No." If the person tries to make you feel bad or guilty about your refusal, something is definitely up. ● This was a disappointing vid for me.

  • Cait3 Holtzback

    I don't think she knows the subject, at least not the subject I was looking for. A con artist, a good con artist, acts as if they are doing YOU as favor. I guess that is what I was looking for the ART of the Confidence man (or women). The SKILL of it. Here, mostly, she seems to be talking about possibly taking advantage of others in a very average sort of way. I was looking for techniques of criminals. This is mostly just common sense. ● For those who have commented about eye-directionality or any body language, an experienced Poker-player is inscrutable in his statue-like stillness: no tells. But a good confidence "man" is usually charming, friendly, easy-going on the surface, aren't they? Anyway, I'll be looking for another vid.

  • adhil Parammel

    Ask your needs continuesly if it's small you can ask big later, if it's big ask small later,if nothing is there to ask later that showing of gratitude will induce a good self image like trust worthy and less pride

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