what is derealisation / depersonalisation?

what is derealisation / depersonalisation?


-All right.
-Yes. -Hello, I’m here with Kati. Kati Morton.
-Hi! Kati is… what would you define yourself as? I’m a licensed therapist. I have a mental health channel on YouTube where I talk about all things related to mental health although my specialties are, like, self-injury and eating disorders. We’re gonna chat a bit about the thing that I have, which is called depersonalisation. I mention it a lot. I guess I’ve made, like, one major video on it, but I didn’t go too in-depth because I didn’t really know too much about it yet and I’ve been through several treatments since then so… let’s talk about it! -Tell you what, I’m gonna say what I think I know about it
-Okay. -and you can tell me if I’m wrong.
-Perfect. Okay, so! Dissociation is when you… You might get it for brief periods of time, maybe. like during a panic attack or like after where something scary has happened to you where you just zone out and it’s your body’s way of disconnecting and dealing with panic. I guess derealisation is where nothing feels real, and you can’t open your eyes wide enough. Or, like, you feel like you’re dreaming which is what I have 24/7. Chronically. Always derealised. Always spaced out. It sucks. And then depersonalisation is when that’s like REAL BAD and I guess you… can’t like- your hands don’t look like your hands or like if you look in the mirror. I always think I look like my brother. -I’m, like, it freaks me out.
-Oh, interesting. That’s my understanding of it. Am I right? Yeah, you’re right on the right path. like, disassociation as a whole. I always called our brains like a parachute. -Ohhhh.
-It’s like, “I can’t deal with this, ahhh!” and it pulls us out and then depersonalisation is when you’re disconnected from self. -Yeah.
-Derealisation is disconnected from environment. -Interesting.
-So, like, hands don’t feel like- you don’t look like that. That’s depersonalisation ’cause you don’t feel like yourself.
-Mm-hmm. but derealisation is when we’re- we almost feel like we’re in a dream. Yes. -Yeah, and that sounds like-
-That’s me allllll the time. -And people usually toggle between both.
-Yeah. I don’t actually think I’ve had a client, doesn’t mean that it’s weird if this is you, but I don’t think I’ve actually had a client who only has one. I’d definitely say that when I’m worst it’s… I’m depersonalised. But like day to day, every single day, it’s mostly just derealisation, which is… -not great, haha.
-No. Um, so the ways I’ve tried to deal with this, umm, I… It’s difficult because I haven’t really gone through with everything completely yet, so I’m not taking them off my list, but I’ve tried medication. I was on Sertraline or Zoloft for about… four weeks? -How was that?
-Terrible, haha! -Because I was gonna say it doesn’t sound like a good fit.
-For me! For me, it was terrible. It took away my emotions. It kind of like… I used to go flip from, like, depressive episodes to… feeling hopeful! And “one day this will all be okay” and it just kind of flattened them which I hate! I really enjoyed the ups and downs because it made me feel more connected. -Well, then you feel, right?
-Yeah, exactly! -And they call that being “blunted.”
-Uh-huh. When medication is too strong, which it can happen as a mental illness as well, we can feel like we can’t feel our feelings but that means, in my opinion, and I’m not a doctor, -but that means that- that the medication was too much. -It was too high of a dose.
-Yes. Yeah, it probably was. I was put at 50 and then they increased me to 100. Ooh, yeah. Which yeah, it wasn’t great for me. I’ve also tried… EMDR therapy, but I had a weird experience at first. I was a little embarrassed. I also want to talk about TMS because I tried transcranial magnetic stimulation. -I know, it’s a mouthful.
-Yeah! Depersonalisation and derealisation as a whole come out of trauma and a lot of people assume that that means we have to been in a car crash or we had to… been to war but the truth about traumas is we can have little T’s and big T’s meaning we can have, as children, and this is the hardest for a lot of people and I don’t know if this is your situation but a lot of people growing up are-
have little T’s where as a kid, we don’t fully understand what’s happening and it can be really frightening or someone can spank us and it’s a little too much and we get really scared as an adult. We look back and we think “oh, that wasn’t a big deal,” but as a kid that was a T and we, like, collected these little T’s and as an adult and as we grow up it can… our brain gets too many of those and it pulls the rip cord, and that’s its way of dealing. Wow, I didn’t know that. Yeah, but the big T’s also cause it too. Even like, you know, car crash, abusive relationships. Things like that. Yeah, I think- I guess mine- I think I had like- yeah, like a little collection of everything that happened to me in the space of like two years and then my brain disconnected and since then it’s been like “this is fine. We can- we could just stay here.” -It’s safer.
-Yeah. I’m trying to get it back and be like, “No! I can deal with it! Just give it all back,” but… Yeah, I’m trying to figure out a way into, like, realigning my… …brain pathways. That’s what TMS tries to do. It tries to kind of like give the part of the brain that causes the problem, like a little bit of a kick. It kind of sends like magnetic impulses, and like, stimulates blood flow and encourages oxygen to flow. For me, they did it in this part of the brain and in this part of the brain. Neither worked sadly, but I’m going back to try a higher frequency. There’s an 80% success rate in depression and in anxiety. Depression’s on this side of the brain, anxiety’s on this side of the brain, it’s so interesting! Because depersonalisation/derealisation isn’t as well known about or more as researched as the other two, then they don’t really know too much about it, so there’s a 50% success rate, and it didn’t work for me yet, but I’m going back to try more. It’s a good message because there’s a lot of different treatment options out there. The one that I find works best is like trauma-based treatment. That’s why I was curious if you tried EMDR. But you said that you didn’t and that doesn’t work for everybody either and also can be really awkward. I’d like to try the end cuz it was really awkward. I think that’s the main thing that kind of, like, pushed me away from it because we tried, you know… She did all this stuff and then we went through a memory and I didn’t… do anything? I don’t know if I did it wrong or like I was just too nervous or spaced out. It just felt a bit awkward so I kind of ran away from it, but I would like to try it again. And the truth about EMDR is that it doesn’t work if we have derealisation or depersonalisa- I KNEW IT!!! I closed my eyes, like I’m focusing and I’m like- she’s like, “what are you thinking about?” I’m like, “I don’t know, who am I?” That’s why I was like- it’s not the best trauma treatment that is the best for depersonalisation/derealisation. -There’s a couple different types of talk therapy.
-Uh-huh. Meaning just talk-talking in general. Talking through traumas, all those little T’s, some of those big T’s, whatever we’ve been through. That’s how we heal and that part of our brain gets stronger, and we’re flexing our resiliency muscles, so how we process trauma if we’re in fight or flight, which is like “Aah! Run away! Scream!” or freeze which is dissociation, deep, personally, it’s down there where we feel like we can’t leave, there’s nothing we can do, -all we can do is leave in our brain. -If we’re in those zones, we can’t reprocess.
-Oh, wow. Resilient zone is where we reprocess. So somatic experiencing is a great type of therapy. Just basic talk therapy. -And even schema therapy.
-You want to talk about some other (weird dodie noise)? Okay, hahaha. So somatic experiencing is a lot of like mind-body connection, so recognizing how you’re feeling, experiencing all of your senses. It’s a lot of mindfulness so that you can recognize how your experience in the world and how your experience in a situation and you can use tools to kind of bring you back down. And I don’t specialize in somatic experiencing or schema therapy, but I will have videos coming out shortly with a colleague of mine -Oh, cool.
-who does, so. -Those are probably the ones that I know are the best.
-Okay. What I practice, personally, is a lot of talk therapy, so, like, take me through what happened at that point and then I ask a lot of questions and then you have to go into detail, which totally sucks, but that’s how our brain reprocesses. To give you a random- this is what I’ve told people on my channel, -is the way our brain- you seen Inside Out?
-Yes. -So our brain files things away like those little marbles. And we’re like “Today, I got to see Dodie, we had a panel, it was amazing, and then we went to dinner, yay.” And I put in this little marble and I roll it off and it’s all filed away. But when we have a trauma of any kind, it’s like someone takes your marble, and they just splinter it and it shoots through all your different memories. Oh, WOW. So our brain needs to take the time to go and pick up the little pieces and like, super glue it back together and then roll it off. That is so interesting! I love that! But it’s nice to, like, visualize it so when you have an associative situation, you can think, “I must have stumbled upon a little splinter. I didn’t know it was there.” But someone either sounded like this or this was too much or I’m feeling stressed out -and so your-your brain’s like, “Aah!”
-Wow. But done properly, at the right pace, you can like pick it up and put it in your little bin, and you keep moving. That is so cute! If you don’t have depersonalisation, but you know someone who does have it, how would you say you can help as a friend? Um, I think checking in is good, and knowing that a lot of the checking-in isn’t going to result in anything, necessarily, -but grabbing their hand sometimes, asking them how you can help.
-Oh my gosh, yeah. Any kind of touching, like people will rub my shoulders or like, grab my arm. I love that. -I really really like that.
-Even just like- yeah. That’s the grounding techniques and you have to learn what works for you because not everybody loves touch. -Like some of my clients-
-Yes, they have to ask. Well, ask for permission. Consent is important If you don’t like touch, something that helps a lot of my clients is like, um, this sounds really weird, but it’s not just fidget toys, it’s like spiny things, like things that have a little nub to them because it’s almost like someone… touching you. I love like- I have these little things on my wrist from the parties- that I’m just fiddling with like, you’ll notice if you see me in public or if I’m on a panel -I’ll just be like scratching my arm. Yeah. I love fidgeting and like touching and scratching and physical things.
-Yeah, rubber bands. Yes! Yeah. -That helps some people, too.
-Yeah. What do you think you should do if you think you have derealisiation/depersonalisation or whatever? Talk to somebody. Someone that you trust. If you have the ability to reach out for help, get on that waitlist, start that process. If you have the ability to afford private- you know, make a call- see. It’s difficult in the UK, and probably everywhere else, because derealisation isn’t too well-known about yet. I had to ring, like, a letter for my GP or like, you know, show them the Wikipedia page or like, record yourself saying how you feel when you’re experiencing it, so you can show it there just in case you can’t quite… you know pin the nail on the head. -Is that… a phrase?
-Yeah. pin the tail on the donkey. To give you, like, a loophole and a way to get in, kind of, like, sneak in, is to just say you struggled with trauma and flashbacks. I find that to be understood across the board because the truth about depersonalisation/derealisation is that that’s where it kind of comes out of and so you will end up getting the help that you need -and you can explain it to the specialist who will understand at that point.
-That’s a good idea. Cool, cool. That’s really helpful. Alright! Well, thanks so much. Thanks for having me. Hope that was helpful. Yeah, definitely. And we did a video on Kati’s channel as well, so if you want to go have a little look-see and, uh, definitely go over and visit as well because she has a wonderful channel. -Aw. Thanks for having me.
-You’re welcome. -Okay, byeeeee!
-Bye!

Comments

(100 Comments)

  • Biological Failures

    I dissociated almost every week now.

  • since_the_dawn _of_time

    The sad thing is I watched this in 2017, half way through 2018 I began to have episodes of derealisation =(

  • emily brooke

    i feel like nothing is real around me. i know that i’m real, but nothing else feels real. i feel like i’m moving around in a fake world and working towards the day i get to live in the “real” world. anyone else?

  • Happyme!

    Thank you for this video. We need to talk about these things more. I have depression and now I think I have ptsd/trauma from a period in my life that was insanely stressful and awful and it's caused me to have anxiety. I've also started to zone out a lot and a lot of time will go by before I realise what's happened.

  • Harmony B.

    So I know that where I live we have Psych majors in Universities doing therapy programs fit to income and as low as $25 a session. All of their work is overlooked by their profs and I've been told it's a very affordable way of recieving certain types of mental health help. Obviously it's not gonna be the best of the best but if there are people who need to at least start their journey it seems like a good place to begin.

  • Asher Alcantara

    I never really understood/could make the distinction between these three terms, but this video helped a lot. In fact the definition of depersonalization sounded very familiar.

  • Schurik

    Bruh when i hear you talking bout this,
    im Happy my Depersonalisation is from 100 to maybe 50/60%

  • Music Princess

    It's such a weird thing because it's not something that actively hurts, it just scares you and leaves you hollow because you know it doesn't feel right. Coming from someone who feels it.

  • Nicole Hernandez

    I only have derealization

  • mgrandell81

    This video makes me tear up because I remember the first time I was diagnosed with this and started therapy for it. It was the first time I felt understood. Unfortunately my therapist moved and i haven't been able to find another one as good as her since. For anyone going through it, it is utterly terrifying. I have had seizures because of it as well as full out panic attacks. I wish there were more support groups for things like this so we don't feel as though we are so alone.

  • Ideldoofer 67

    This is so informative! Thanks Dodie!

  • Pauline Maxwell

    Some days are so hard but luckily today I'm managing. You'd think I'd be a queen at dealing with this shit after 45 years of having it! At least I know I'm not alone anymore and never will be. The internet has been my lifesaver

  • sara Holland

    Hey is there a way we can talk? I was just recently diagnosed with this

  • Bvaddie :c

    For me my dreams and real life are so mixed and when I look at myself I look so different

  • jayden

    when i tried to explain to my therapist that i felt like this she would tell me “you’re just having panic attacks, it’ll go away by themselves” yet it’s been almost 6 months & i feel so much worse. i don’t even recognize myself. i feel like i’m living a dream but its so uncomfortable and i don’t even feel anything , it’s so weird and i can’t explain it to my mom because i’m scared she’s not gonna believe me or understand & i just need someone to talk to because i feel like i’m alone. i have no more friends because i can’t hang out with them and i can’t be happy , and whenever i would tell them about how i felt they would think i’m crazy , i feel like i’m going insane and i can’t talk to anyone and that’s what makes it so much worse. i’m terrified that i’ll have to live like this for the rest of my life. i’m so scared i just need someone who understands how i feel.

  • bumblebee

    i really needed to hear the part about trauma. i experience a lot of symptoms of mental illnesses that come from trauma but i always think i've never really been through anything but maybe there's a lot that i didn't realise. thanks for this video, it helped me quite a bit 🙂

  • Phethozye

    Does anybody else freak out when you notice your own body and it’s movements? It’s almost like your mind goes “HOLY SHIT WHOSE BODY AM I IN? HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?” It happens most when I look at my arms.
    My whole body just feels invisible and it feels really weird to walk and move around. Like I’m made of soft sugar or something.

  • FleurDeCerisier

    I was wondering if I have some sort of derealisation or depersonalisation. Sometimes everything around me becomes extremely fast and extremely loud and intense. Time seems to fly and all sounds seem hyper aggressive. At the same time my own movements become super slow. It's so weird and I can't even explain it but I feel very uncomfortable whenever I get it.

  • Danielle HL

    This was soooooo helpful and reassuring. You are both blessings ♥️

  • SERH3N

    I'm so depressed. I experienced this for one year and then overcame it. But sadly, a few weeks ago it came back bigger and more terrifying. 🙏🏻😞 I'm praying for it to go again.

  • Jimmy

    I feel like I’m high on really strong pot.

  • chalateco09

    I always feel like I am watching myself in a 3rd person view

  • Emma Jean

    i literally got a panic attack watching this because this is exactly what i feel when i have a panic attack

  • Emma Jean

    i’ve done EDMR therapy with my therapist

  • ᏞᎪᏙᎬNᎠᎬᎡ ᏞᎪᏙᎬNᎠᎬᎡ

    I would really like to see a doctor to see if I actually have this. But my parents would be mad at me for asking… Idk what to do!!!

  • Veronika Jenisova

    I have both… will it ever go or end

  • Lexi Hood

    ok im literally in tears right now bc of this video <3 this helped so much

  • iced coffee hoe

    my experience with derealization, is weird. because im recovering from anorexia and bulimia. so when i used to throw up, the pain in my stomach and throat was so big that my brain used to turn all my vision completely white and like make me feel like i was high… its weird ik

  • MEanME

    What exactly is meant like in a dream.
    That makes no sense to me.

  • Julia S

    Kati talking about us freezing when we feel like we cant get away is so real. I was conditioned growing up not to run away when I was scared and then when someone actually hurt me as a teenager my body just froze and I wanted to fight but I couldn’t get my arms to move. It didn’t even make sense what was happening to me. I remember just looking at the stars and feeling raindrops bc I was outside and kind of calmly being like “hm. What’s happening?”

  • Unbekannt UNBEKANNT

    it is better to forget it, or to accept?

  • WishCandle

    I feel like I’m the only person and everything and everyone is fake and they are just set here and like I’m the only real human?

  • Christina Arceneaux

    Did you ever get cured from dp?? This is month 8 of having it and i see no end in sight

  • Alyssa Kelley

    I feel like someone actually understands.

  • Ellen Chapman

    Omg I love the inside out analogy 😲

  • Mermaid Maddie

    As someone who's struggled with what (doctors believe) is some forms of disassociation, it's so wonderful to see you talk about it. Practically everyone knows of depression/anxiety/PTSD/etc. but rarely is there any education about dr/dp/etc. Thank you both for sharing your knowledge and helping me understand myself a little better.

  • Megamoo 123

    I get depersonalisation and derealisation but I don't (to my knowledge) have any trauma?? Like I have no clue what caused this

  • Nicole Silva

    When does this go away??? What can help me its been a year already??? This sucks man for real

  • Jad Zan

    im so scared. what if it never stops😓

  • hannahpaige

    Thank you for sharing with us, Dodie, and for being honest and transparent even though it can be scary to share. You talking about your mental health is helping to end the stigma so thank you! xx

  • willow dream

    I had weird episodes when I felt like I was dreaming but only like 5 times

  • Winter Wolf0986

    Idk. I don’t wanna assume anything, and I’m rly late to this. I dot wanna talk to my friends on this cause I don’t want them to see me as looking for attention. Whenever I’m really the area of mind. I sorta bunch up a lot and stare at something. If I’m with people I have to back away from the group. It feels like a massive weight has been put inside of my mind which makes everything rly loopy and I don’t rly have any attention span or anything. It’s mainly in the evenings but it can happen during the day. I also seriously forget that I’m even a body. Like I’ll look around me and realise that this thing is me. But that’s probably just normal. I’ve never spoken about this with anyone really. Is it normal? Lol. After the one I had tonight I’m genuinely thinking about getting a therapist, but it is 3am, and as we all know. I’ll have probably forgotten it tomorrow. Ahah.

  • Alexangelica

    😯

  • Emma_Rose Gallagher

    I have an unlabeled (my therapist doesn’t have enough information) compulsion disorder and sometimes i’ll look away from something and something happens in my brain and I can’t look away or a have took look away because I feel like something is wrong and it normally causes me to have a mini freak out or panic. Ex. Today at dinner I was sitting and I looked up from my plate at my dad and the light in the kitchen behind him was off and it made everything look off (almost zoomed out a blurry) and it made me panic and I almost cried and I kept saying that I didn’t like it/that even though part of my brain was just like “Emma calm down it’s a light” the other part was just screaming in a corner “YOU CANT SEE. WTF IS GOING ON. EVERYTHING IS WRONG”

  • Basic Billy

    I feel like after I smoke I feel like this .. damn

  • LittleBirdy1

    This happened to me in 2015. I went through something extremely traumatic Big T. Essentially blamed for someone else’s death. And had immense guilt and pain. For the first week I felt pain like I never knew exited. Wailing and crying to sleep. After the first week I went completely numb and I was losing memories of the trauma. I felt nothing and nothing felt real. No emotions. I was told by a therapist that I was going through Exactly this. You guys did a great job explaining!

  • Gianna Federico

    I used to go to this therapist (but she was kinda mean and I didn’t rly trust her (and she was a gay conversion therapist on the side 😬 not good)) and I tried explaining derealization to her. She said « maybe you just have low blood sugar » lol. That was a rough time.

  • Anju Singal

    I don't know who I am anymore.like I don't know what "I" means when I recall my past memories of myself I feel as if that was someone else and right now I am someone else .when I meet my relatives I feel I have changed as if they are not meeting me as if they are meeting someone else.so is this depersonalization? Also I have never faced any trauma in my life neither have I done drugs all I know is that I feel terrible and depressed because I want to be normal. Can a vitamin deficiency cause this? Please answer

  • Mazura

    How many times do i go back to your videos to figure things out x) Seriously, I had a derealisation episode that lasted 6 hours today and I was very annoyed that it happened again so I just watched you video to figure out tips to get out of this quickly and turns out I should have probably picked my stimtoy (which I had for two month and is already COMPLETELY dead because I use it constantly when i'm situations where there's a lot of people). I should have maybe hugged my parents but they never know when I go through it I just shut up about it so… Yeah (I should test these others coping mecanism to see if it works for me). Also I just discovered that the type of therapy that i'm doing is talk therapy and I should talk more about these episodes. Anyway that must the third time that I post this kind of comment under one of your video, always helps me think. Also sorry for my broken english…

  • jilly G

    I have cptsd dissociation and when my depression is bad I can get depersonalization & derealization really bad it's like being isolated in a bubble and there is no feeling of reality like watching a tv screen being projected onto another screen it all feels weird and not right. As a little kid I did not recognise myself in the mirror either and hated my reflection, avoided it activily for most of my childhood. Also have a very stong sense of what I look like, and it's not what I really look like outside, internally I see myself totally differntly. I witnessed alot of violent fights between my parents as a very small child…..my dad was alcaholic or self medicating with alcahol and my mum has undiagnosed mental illness so she was always going balistic at him. It often got physical and my mum would often storm out the house screaming she was going to kill herself and drive off like a bat out of hell not retun for hours. I think i was still in diapers then so under 3…..it contiued until i was older, by mid teens it was not as violent anymore but still they argued constanly which triggered me…..i once had to jump out the car as an adult to vomit when home to visit, when they started argueing like they used to in the front of car, an emotional flashback i guess. I also get a very weird thing happen to me sometimes……as I am walking I see someone I look at them and study them I spiral into thoughts about who they are why they are dressed that way speculation about their lives etc and comparing them to me and also making judgements about them. All this happens as they walk by and as they keep going and get further away from me I feel like something inside me is being pulled along with them and I get a physical impulse to follow them and it's a real wrench to pull away and break free of that spell and carry on my own way instead. Is this part of all this……or is that a hyper focus thing?….I also have adhd. I use a small stone or i squeeze my hands alot….maybe that is a way for me to ground. Really fantastic video, thankyou……I was really freaked out when I discovered what this was I was experiencing I am glad I am not alone with it anymore. 🙂

  • Yajaira Barron

    I experience panic attacks but idk what happened to me this one time

    I was driving on the freeway and it went into like really deep curve almost like a loop and I hate those and then suddenly i felt kind of sick? like I felt loopy almost, I felt like i wasn't actually driving i felt like the car wasn't actually moving even tho I know I was it didn't feel right I felt weird i don't wanna feel really know how to describe it but that it felt fake. I had to keep driving because there wasn't any exits near me and I didn't wanna crash so I just followed a car in front of me until i felt normal and drove to my house. I had a similar feeling once in my room where I felt fake again it almost felt like I was in a simulation and I knew I was in a simulation so it was like knowing your life and you are fake honestly don't know how else to describe it. I felt like a Barbie doll like my skin was plastic, it very much felt like I was high but scared of everything kind of. anyways I just tried going to sleep or just used my phone. its a really trippy expeience and they don't happen often. idk if it's something I should worry about tho

  • NerdfighterVee

    I recently went through TMS for depression. I had never heard of it before. I’m so glad to hear that it isn’t just something I’ve been through. It does help. I hope it helps others as well.

  • Bella asdfghjkllkjkjhhfdut

    I've had feelings of depersonalization since kindergarten and I told the teacher who called my mom up concerned. I'm 18 and I'm still having those feelings. My mother wont hmbring me to a therapist and I've talked to doctors who dont seen to care. Its really effecting my life and now that I'm suffering with a chronic illness it's gotten worse. I dont know what to do. I feel like I'm watching my life through pov goggles and like I'm not really there and just going through the motions. I think about this is my body that woman is my mom who I love and I almost can't feel those attachments as well. It's scary. I dont know what to do. My mother was abusive and I constantly had to stop her from killing herself from a young age. First time was the 2nd grade when she tried to shoot herself in the head. That's just to name a few. I dont know what I could have forgotten to protect myself if I remeber those things, but I dont feel quite right. I feel like I'm losing my mind and nobody will listen

  • Diego Barajas

    Omg I had this on a few occasions. Specifically back in 9th grade we went on a field trip and a couple hours in I felt really weird. Like as if I was dreaming. I felt like I was floating but I knew I was walking. Everything around me felt like it was moving too fast for me to understand. I could move my body and whatnot but it was almost like I was telling someone else what to move for me. If that makes any sense. I was in control but not really. I freaked out and told one of my friends during the trip but they thought I was crazy. I’ve had that feeling a few times after that but never as severe.

  • Floris Aleska

    I do have moments of depersonalition,but It's mostly due to being so deep in thought. I have autism so now thinking about it , It's probably my way dealing with things that over stimulates me.

  • SassyAss Snake

    I'm not sure if it would be labelled as bullying , but I had an extremely horrible time in my primary school , everybody their was super mean and I validating to me about all the things I like and my art and imagination , so I kind of disconnected and started basically living in my imagination and 24/7 creating this entire ongoing world in my head . And I havent seen or spoken to anyone from my primary school for a year since I'm now going into year 8 . And a few months ago I realized how bad it was and how desperately I was making myself believe that the magical worlds were 'real' but not real at the same time. And so I have been kinda trying to drag myself into the real world but when I do try to i get extremely depressed , lonely and I think I also have pretty major trust issues because I think everyone secretly out to get and that their not real and I'm in a simulation or asleep and this is all a dream . And it's like super scary when this happens .
    I havent been diagnosed with anything or seen anyone. And I found out about derealisation and depersonalisation so I went to my mum and was like yo , I think I might have this or atleast I have something , and she was like " stop trying to find problems in yourself and trying to be special " and all that .
    So I have no idea what I'm supposed to do about this. And it is getting alot worse .

  • Brianna McCall

    As someone who also suffers from depersonalization/derealization episodes, I really appreciate you making this video. I couldn’t tell you how great it felt when I found out that I wasn’t alone in how I felt and this video can help others find that connection too ❤️

  • Suz Marie

    Sometimes I feel like I’m this tiny version of myself sitting inside my brain just kind of watching a movie that is my life

  • Korasi

    thank you for this.

  • Hummingbird

    EMDR saved my life.

  • HeidiArwen

    Sertraline made it worse for me (*sertreline?)

  • Milie

    I remember when Dodie first spoke about this I kinda felt like the concept was familiar, but I was too scared to look further into it. However, when I lived a year abroad I started experiencing long periods of time of kinda out of body experiences… it’s kinda like my brain convinces me that I’m watching myself from the outside, like I’ll be in a situation where I might be uncomfortable or sometimes there’s nothing much special, but I’ll start thinking like “who am I?” And suddenly it’s like I’m not really there, I’m like trapped in a tiny room in my brain looking through my eyes, but from a distance, if that makes sense…. and I suddenly don’t really feel anything anymore, because what I see isn’t real, so why should I be sad or upset or even happy? Living abroad was the happiest but also the most stressful year of my life, and I think it developed even more for me because I had so much going on at once.
    I don’t experience it as randomly anymore, like it doesn’t come suddenly on the train like it used to, but I almost always get it when I’m in a large social setting where I don’t feel entirely comfortable/in control. Sometimes I’ll constantly feel like I’m not “cool” enough to hang out with my friends, and then it comes and I stop feeling anything at all… I don’t really know how to deal with it, I think I’ve tried to avoid it honestly because it’s not constant and I can kinda predict when it’ll come… but it’s just so uncomfortable and every time it comes I feel like I end up seeming empty.

  • Mad Max

    I ended up dissasociating and feeling like nothing was real and I never knew where I was or what was going on after a really hard time and my therapist explaining that it can be "the brains parachute" helped me get over it and realized that I wasn't broken or strange.

  • Polly

    the problem is that the only people i can talk to about it are like my parents but in the past ive gotten bad reactions whenever i was completely honest and thats kind of been one of the trauma things for me

  • Ave Alys

    Just realized that I deal with derealization depersonalization a few months back and have been having a hard time explaining to my boyfriend in my own words what it is and how it feels. This video helped a lot. xoxo

  • Valeria Mafra

    I think i have this. I’ve been trying for years to figure out what was the matter with me. And every time i wake up it all feels weird. I feel like a roam everywhere. Thanks

  • caracarota

    Ur both so pretty

  • Wanju Chien

    You may also want to look into Dimensional SHIFT and 3D, 5D merge, Mandela Effect to get a better understanding as the REALITY in truth is NOT REAL.

  • Lili

    Omggg it's Kati AND dodie! I love you both and have watched your videos before, didn't know you knew each other!!!?! What a lovely surprise

  • Haruka Nanase

    I've basically been in a derealization episode for 2 years and like Dodie even said at it's worse it's depersonalization. It feel like being high but without any of the fun. I know it's from childhood trauma and recent trauma. Weirdly enough things that have helped me to start feeling normal again is talk therapy and yoga. I know it won't help with everyone but I can say it's improved my DR/DP and instead of being constant it seems to come and go more now and I'm starting to feel more normal than not. Working through my issues, allowing myself to feel and trying to be more connected with my body and surroundings have helped substantially. It's a lot of work but I am happy to be working through it!

  • THEO

    My trauma is from bullying,in primary school I was bullied every single day, from day one to the last day sometimes only a few comments and sometimes I was beaten up or surrounded by bullies and shouted at, in highschool it was just as bad so for basically years I was bullied non stop, beaten physically on a few occasions and emotionally isolated from my entire peer group, I'm nearly twenty and still have severe night terrors sometimes though not as bad as it used to be, I also have had bad relationships and interactions with other men when I identified as my birth sex, trauma really likes to pile up and it affects me now when I meet new people or talk to anyone, even family.

  • Mi

    Derealisation for about 13 years. I don't really experience moments in reality. Funnn
    Edit: this video was extremely helpful. I guess I'm trying to deal with trauma, even though I don't know what happened. But there were parts I tried to feel and some were extremely eye opening.

  • DolliLoxz

    I find myself not doing fun things because big crowds give me anxiety and I feel like really dissociated and can’t enjoy it, even if I go to a different crockery store and can’t find something sometimes I feel dissociated it’s so weird, I’m going to try to push past it soon for a music festival but I hate having to deal with it. I even had it as a kid

  • Cassie Hopkins

    I’ve been through multiple different therapists and psychiatrists since I was 13, I’m 18 and I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and severe anxiety but I’ve always tried talking to every single one of these professionals about my feelings of all three of these and every time they avoid addressing what it could be or asking me any questions about that. A lot of them kinda laughed and make me feel dumb for even mentioning it … idk oh well, if anyone knows any place/anyone who can help me in Georgia let me know.

  • Sara Butland

    The therapist reminds me of a patient from Scrubs so bad

  • EGGS FACTOR

    My depersonalization/derealization was so bad in middle school, I would have moments where I would stop in the middle of the hallway and just have complete amnesia for a few seconds. I know it sounds like bullshit but that was a very bad time of my life, and I think it was my body's way of staying "sane" to just tune out for a couple seconds. I would forget where I was, who I was, and just absolutely everything around me was so surreal and scary. It all came back momentarily, but I never knew when it was going to hit me. Thank god that's over! If anyone out there reading this gets these moments, change your life. If you're in an abusive home, run away. Judge me all you want, people who don't have abusive parents, but I wish i ran away. It took me getting kicked out to realize i needed to get away from there.

  • Laura Jones

    Yeah I didnt know there was a word for this, it's weird to hear someone explain a phenomenon you experience all the time and have tried to explain to others

  • Debra

    I love videos like this as some therapists just sit there and listen and don’t explain things like this…

  • Evelyn Hoffman

    Zoloft did that to me too even at only 20 mg

  • Cerridwen Kaiding

    I love how she said that depersonalization was REAL BAD and yet that’s what I have most frequently of the three 😂

  • nina

    i'm really grateful i don't have this mental illness, thank you Lord!

  • Eliett Alcantara

    woww thank you!!

  • Eliett Alcantara

    can you do an update video?

  • Izzybambizzle

    Im going to therapy, and it's hard for me to say "me" or "I", I usually say "One" like it was another person

  • Eliza Hamilton

    i think apart of my periods of derealization has to do with my not being able to focus on anything, due to a.d.d. i’ve been diagnosed with depression and g.a.d., but neither depersonalization/derealization nor a.d.d., so i cant be sure if the a.d.d. is making something that i might not have worse

  • EvilKris

    Honestly I don’t think TMS is going to do much for her. I have a neurosurgeon client who’s somewhat a pioneer in the TMS field here in Asia, and although he has told me it has some beneficial and immediate effects for patients with Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s- and I’ve seen the before and after videos- I’ve not heard of it being used for depression or anxiety. it’s a bit of a placebo treatment, utilized by many in the neurological field when they don’t know what else to put on the table. I wouldn’t put too much stock in its efficacy esp as her condition is more likely to be pathological. I think what she needs is time for her brain to heal, and possibly a good therapist, not medicine.

  • Orri Greaves

    I have had almost constant derealization for a month now… it is awful.

  • Kaylescent

    I had both reallll bad and couldnt work and my job insurance said they wouldnt pay me cuz its not a real disorder ! And i had a full paper from the doctor LOl

  • Kaylescent

    I remember sometimes i would just be on a bench looking around and its like theres a screen between me and reality ! Like im watching a movie

  • Jesse Draws Stuff

    not recognising your friends and family is the worst part. the only way i can describe it is like every time you look at them they have a different face. you know who they are and you have memories of them but you can’t see them there. it’s terrifying.

  • frost

    ….this sounds kinda like how i feel, but i have never been diagnosed with it. i have been told i have anxiety and depression and even once ptsd, but none of them encapsulated how i feel in my body? like for me i can never relate to my own name, and my face feels like it belongs to someone else, and i feel like i'm sort of floating most of the time? i think i have to research this further, because this all sounds so familiar.

  • Sam Hawk

    Anyone els really sad

  • metafizyka

    My friend came through that, when she was going through anxiety episode, she had plenty panic attacks and couldn’t go out without feeling detached from the world, she told me that she have felt like she was dreaming, like the ground was falling down from her feet and the same with looking in the mirror- she wasn’t recognising herself, she was seeing another woman. Scary as fukkk and honestly after all the conversations I had with my friend I feel so bad for people with panic attacks and disorders mentioned. I mean, I wish my friend didn’t go through this sht and I can’t possibly imagine how it is like to live like this for more than a year or two.

  • Shnurffle

    holy crap it all makes sense now

  • Princess Boo

    I really wanted to watch this and the information was great, but I feel with all the jump-cuts I was missing out on info. It was really distracting.

  • Stargirl20

    Hey, I tried EMDR and I dissociated / left my body is that normal?

  • spiccypeaches

    idk if i have any of that but i got high from 6 long hits for the first time and i had a major panic attack and i’ve been traumatized ever since and now i think the world isn’t real and everything that exists is fake

  • xMotoMitchx

    Just to shed some light at the end of the tunnel for people dealing with DP/DR.I was struggling with DP/DR, depression, hardcore anxiety, and panic attacks the past three years, but things are looking up and i would say i am 80-85% cured of the DP/DR. I understand how scary it can be sometimes, but "when going through hell, don't stop." Dissasociation is literally your minds way of saying it's overstimulated, so it goes into a sort of standby mode. The things that helped me were finding a less stressful job, getting off social media, getting out of toxic relationships, eating healthier, exercising, reading a lot, and getting out and socializing, getting sunlight, talking with family members and freinds about my issues. No matter how hard these things can be, you need to rewire your brain, and when your body tells you no you need to tell it yes. Get up, get active, and stop focusing on the past and future, just appreciate what you have right now!

  • IN PEACE WITH REALITY

    Guys, hi, i’m an ex sufferer, i had the most severe condition of dp dr for 3,5 years, i had no hope and was extremely suicidal. I am trying to support everyone who is struggling with this, as i am out and completely recovered. I made a youtube page, where i am sharing my experience, you are more then welcome to listen to my story and tips on my channel : “In Peace with Reality”. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjP_kJOFsjKkV6TNzW38y5w
    I’m making my content for you!

  • Arlin Aguilar

    I love those moments when a therapist explains something and the other persons face just shows them mentally going ohhhhh ya that makes sense

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