Where I’m at, mentally // Grace Helbig

Where I’m at, mentally // Grace Helbig


Let’s just do it because our brain Thoughts are starting get antsy and their talking us out of this idea in negative ways Which is what this video is all about Hi, my name is Grace Hel…. Wow, fucking nailing it. Hi. My name is Grace Helbig, if you did not know. Now, you know your life is different now. This has been a weird year for me This also is probably gonna be a very rambling a little all over the place video and that’s it So you can accept that or bye. I want to sit down and just sort of talk openly stream of conscious esque style About the year I’ve had because it’s been wonky to say the least There’s been really wonderful beautiful moments. And this is the time of the morning when goose decides to bark because she’s just been sleeping The whole time that had the camera off, but when the camera goes on now It’s a like mother like dog-htre – that’s a really wonderful moments. This year are some really beautiful Joyous things and then I’ve had some really dark and sad and frustrating things this year it’s just been uh, I guess a transitional year so they wanted to sit down and talk about it with you guys because I think That’s also what people do That helps is they talk about it. Not necessarily on camera. I mean like I’m the therapist knows all this but like, you know, She doesn’t hit like like and subscribe after a session. That would be fascinating and probably unhealthy I wanted to talk about with you guys because there has been a little disconnect because I felt disconnected from the internet all Year, and I wanted to just feel a little bit more like a human to you guys rather than so presentational about cooking or You know favorites videos or other Nonsense everyone, I feel nervous saying all of this stuff. I think it’s because I Don’t put a lot of like my personal thoughts and feelings out in such a direct way But I think this is something a lot of creators Go through and a lot of people that aren’t creators go through it is the idea of feeling stuck of feeling in a rut of developing a lot of negative self-talk that stifles your creativity stifles your ability to have meaningful relationships stifles your ability to Just go to a grocery store and buy groceries sometimes for those of you I’m watching me forever know that I’ve dealt with eating disorder I’ve dealt with anxiety depression and anxiety depression have gotten a big hold of me this year Which is crazy because I’m in like the most wonderful relationship ever, but then my creative world feels very Overwhelmed with a lot of anxiety and negative self-talk this year, which has kept me from Creating kind of talked about this last year a little bit and I think I thought by talking about it it might help facilitate some sort of motivation and you know what that didn’t happen and I have finally come to terms with the fact that you can’t just go to bed and like hope That the next morning all the sudden you wake up and all the lightbulbs are turned on and you’re ready to go And yeah, you’re back in the strides that you used to have. I’ve gotten into a big rut of comparing myself to my former self of going Oh, man 2012 to 2014/2015 were the prime years and I could just get back to what that felt like Then we’d be back on track baby turns out that doesn’t happen or work or is good It’s very akin to when like retired football players just drink heavily and re-watch their old Games to just feel like they were once good at something Much like that and that’s sad and dark and depressing but it’s kind of true gotten myself into this hamster wheel routine this year of Comparing myself to previous times and feeling like I’m not living up to that Level and talking myself down from things out of things that I’m not good enough through things that like the funny Thing that I had going is gone like that was a fluke and like all of these irrational things that have made me feel very Weighed down. It’s like I tied a bunch of bricks on to my feet and I’m Still going but I can swim across that river watch this. Nope No, I can’t I couldn’t even swim across that river if I didn’t have any bricks on I’m not a good swimmer helbig’s are not a swimming family when I was younger I did like two small triathlons with my younger brother and my dad in like our home town and We are all three almost drown and the swimming was the first part of the entire triathlon. We made the teenage lifeguards very nervous The cool thing is I’ve been going to therapy consistently which highly recommend if you can do it. Very cool That’s huge for me because I don’t like talking to people about my feelings Especially – I don’t like going back week after week. I like to do it once and go well I did that scary thing That I didn’t think I could do and I have to do it again and again and again and again to get the results It’s not just a one and done. I can’t just fall asleep and wake up then all the lights are on Okay, so I’ve been really proud of myself for going and doing the therapy thing. It’s been very helpful This is where I go. Maybe I should have written down my thoughts before I started this video to try and make this a little bit more cohesive, but then when you say should to yourself That’s a negative way of talking to yourself. So I’m doing just fine right now. This is great It’s all gonna work out fine. It is working out fine. We’re in the present moment right here I’ve really realized how much negative self-talk I’ve given myself in the last couple of months and it’s become this real heavy routine that I feel like I finally am ready to curiously Investigate just at the end of the year and as we get into the new year Everyone’s doing their whole self evaluations and figuring out what ways they want to live their lives in 2020 Also, I think 2019 was a weird year for all of us Let me know if it was weird for you so that I can feel not alone here because I would love that What am I getting at baby yoda was exactly what I needed at the end of this year And I don’t even if the mandalorian is getting boring. I don’t understand plots of shows at all whatsoever Anyway, I’m just waiting for that baby Yoda to show up. Oh, there’s got to be bars out there that have BYOB why bring your own baby Yoda, I don’t know why I don’t know why you would show up to a bar with like a stuffed animal baby Yoda But I don’t know why you wouldn’t either I also it felt a little bit like I Took a step back last year and in that period I really distanced myself from the YouTube space Almost in a way that when someone takes a break in between high school and college they take a year off and then they try to go back to college and Everything is different and nothing makes sense. I mean to be fair even when I was doing YouTube like really Pounding that YouTube space. I didn’t fully understand what was going on on the platform I was just like here’s a new funny thing here’s a new funny, here’s a new funny thing and they’d be like How do you think we can make the platform better? Like I don’t even it’s a shock that I even know how to upload a video so you’re asking the wrong girl and now it’s like It’s very intimidating It’s a very intimidating space now because it’s very different than what it used to be I’m a little bit in a space of I don’t know what I want to do and I feel very impatient about not knowing and I want to just know and work and do the next thing I have to give myself some space to Work on my brain house this year faired for you guys. Anyone else feeling similar things also I don’t know if you guys experienced like when there’s really great stuff happening in your life There’s a guilt for feeling even slightly anxious or bad or negative about other stuff in your life She’s like but this is so good. And there’s also a lot of people that would kill for this situation. So, how could you even Whine or complain or cry about this situation, I’m not to feel all the feelings Because I’m not a robot. Hey in the future I feel like an AI robot is gonna re-watch that clip out of context and they’re gonna come for me and murder me if they Haven’t murdered our entire human race already other thoughts I think about so I have a hard time expressing gratitude I’ve heard – expressing feelings, especially on the Internet and the public forum I wanted to say thank you to everyone that’s been watching the videos for years you guys can tell If I’m off even if I try to hide it and mask it y’all know you all it’s pretty transparent It’s funny how sometimes your most transparent when you’re trying to hide a lot of You probably know this but I’m obsessed with Michael Buckley because on his Instagram stories. He he’s a life coach now He’s OG youtuber if you don’t know then hello welcome. You probably a ninth grader and My videos aren’t for children So don’t Coppa me Michael Buckley is now a life coach and his Instagram story is just so wonderful to me I’ve been watching it since the beginning of the year and he bounced these like very wonderful seeds of wisdom here and there and then he’ll show you about like his new sweater that I got and how much he loves her hates it and Him at a piano bar and then him talking about his adult soccer It’s all wonderful hodgepodge, but the stuff that he was saying even this morning it felt very pointed and I got scared to even sit down and do this video even after I decided that I was going to Then all the negative talk is like hey guess well Oh, yeah, we’re ready to do our job, which is talk you out of it I watched his Instagram story and it you just talked about how comparing yourself to your former self is So detrimental that you are exactly where you need to be right now And you decide how you show up and everything is happening as it should right now I highly recommend for you guys to go watch Michael Buckley story because it’s just so pleasant and I never know what I’m gonna get and it’s uh Like you said, true delight I’m gonna talk about audible in this Episode because they’ve sponsored this video and I’m thankful for that companies that I’ve been working with this year that have sponsored videos because one of their genuine companies that I really love and I love Working with things that I can show you that I actually use on a regular basis and – they’re probably the reason that I made Any videos this year if I didn’t have an obligation for an ad Situation. I probably would have sat in blankets and watch reality TV So I’m thankful that they’ve even tried to support me enough to get me motivated to make content this year because I do like making content once I get through all of the forrest of why the fuck are you doing this? It’s really wonderful that audible sponsoring this video because I just started listening to to UnFuck Yourself by Gary John Bishop It’s so perfect for the stuff that’s going on in my brain and world right now I’m only thirty minutes into it and I’m obsessed with it. He’s a Scottish guy. That is Incredible it’s basically like tough love self-help. It’s like if you have like an older Scottish brother or dad that like loved you But wasn’t gonna coddle you like and that’s exactly the kind of self-help stuff that I respond to It’s like no bullshit and it’s straight to the point. He basically says in the first 30 minutes I’m not gonna teach you how to do mantras I’m not gonna tell you to say that you’re lion because you’re not a fucking lion and second of all You’re not a fucking lion. I did an air kick when I heard that. It’s all about negative self-talk and it’s all about How we can approach that I’m just so excited To listen to this that it might take me a second to edit this video because I might just fall down a wormhole of listening To the rest of this if you want to give yourself an audible membership now is the time or gift an audible membership now is the time because you can get an audible membership for 53% off you can choose three titles every month an audiobook and two exclusive audible originals You can listen on any device anytime anywhere with the audible app it’s super easy and like I said right now for a limited time you can get your first 3 months for $6.95 per month 53 percent off the original price three months $6.95 per month if you visit audible.com/grace or you text Grace to 500 – 500 obviously my recommendation is I’m yourself by Gary John Bishop if you really want some of that like Scottish punch things Scottish punch is just called like Scotch, right They have a billion categories so you can choose from different books and an audible original is the self-help category is obviously very popular Right now the end of 2019 into 2020 2020 is gonna be a kick-ass year for so many things I feel it in my bones Which is why I think I’m bold enough to sit down and have this kind of conversation with you something I would never have done years ago. I also am Getting what humans call older so I am giving less I also want to be more of a person to you and not so presentational because that’s more in line with how I’m In my life right now the great things that have happened this year Obviously mamrie and I have our podcast this might get weird that you can listen to every Wednesday Which has been so awesome we have a patreon for it. That’s been really great And we had a lot of excitement going into 2020 making that work and also not too deep It’s been really cool If you guys have listened to that podcast You can tell that I’m having more in-depth conversations with humans that I never thought I’d have a chance to sit down and talk to and so that’s where my brain is at a little bit more It’s less away from the gag jokes and more into just like being a human and also maybe I’ll just cringe after editing this video and Throw all of my devices into the nearest water source I don’t want to predict the future. I want to live in the present. It’s a gift I know I’m gonna turn this camera off and have 10,000 more articulate thoughts about what I wanted to say, but that’s me thinking negatively. This went great. I did great Thank you guys for listening to this very rambley. Just sort of mental health update It’s been a wonky year, but it feels nice admitting that it’s also very cool to start making active choices to switch the way that this Current situation is I hope you guys have had as best a year as you could we’re all doing it We did. Well we almost did it. There’s still time for shit to hit so many fans There is so much time for fecal matter to hit wind sources if you like this video give it a thumbs up. Don’t forget to subscribe, especially if you’re my therapist. Again, thanks guys. I Don’t know

Comments

(100 Comments)

  • Grace Helbig

    I'm reading all of your comments and I'm overwhelmed TO SAY THE F*CKING LEAST. You are SO kind and SO thoughtful and SO real/raw/relatable/vulnerable and it makes me SO happy to be amongst a bunch of very cool and complexly beautiful human beings that welcome and support not only me but themselves and each other. It might take me a little bit to be able to process and respond to the ridiculously beautiful energy happening here, but, for now just know I see it. I'm reading all of it and I appreciate it more than you know. I started reading these comments while I was on hold with a customer support woman from Omaha steaks (I got my step dad a subscription box of steaks for christmas – don't tell him) I started crying while I was on hold, but when she came back on the line I got it together bc I didn't want the Omaha steaks customer service rep to think I was having a god damn meltdown bc my step dad might not get his cardboard box of meat on time. This part isn't necessary to tell you, but it just happened and made me lol to myself and in the wake of being more open and transparent here we are. This got away from me. Thank you for being wonderful. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being. Let's take care of each other.

  • BigDaddyCool42

    You should always feel good. You are real beautiful. Take it from someone who’s slowly turning into a monster. Enjoy your beauty everyday

  • Anji Zhao

    thank you for sharing grace ♥♥♥♥

  • heater9124

    Oh Grace. Thanks for keeping it real. Not everyone can own their story & their place. You’re less wonky than you think dude!

    ❤️

  • Jigglypoof

    YouTube algorithm hasn't shown me one of your videos in years. But for whatever reason, this one made it through to my home page. And I'm glad it did!

  • LABeachbum

    Don’t care. You’re stupid.

  • Aleah Zucchi

    Love this type of content. I feel like everyone “popular” on social media is trying to make everything seem so exciting and crazy to get views where as most of us would rather see something chill and real like this.

  • Amber Williams

    Time is weird. Why do we have to measure it in a year and group all our major moments together into an average? At the end of every year everyone says something along the lines of “this was a bad year. I feel like this was a bad year for everyone” a lot of ups and downs happen in a week let alone a year. guess I’ve just never understood thinking about it that way

  • Hazimul Wa'ie

    You are not alone Grace. 2019 started off on a high note, got a great job and felt like I was smooth sailing through life..then as the year is ending I feel like I lost everything including myself. Now I dont know what to do or whats the next step. Looking forward to a better decade.

  • Imma Undacova

    I liked this b/c you are all over the place and yet talking directly to ME, not to your 2.9M subscribers. 2019 was indeed a bitch. Are you stressed b/c Hannah chose to be with Yella? Are you empathizing with poor Ingrid? Are you still fucked up about Shannon and Cammie after all these years? Because I sure as hell am, on all three counts.

    But the best and most powerful part of your post is the story about the Omaha steaks. Your prose is more impactful than your vlog, at least in this case. Take that as a compliment. Keep writing.

    and BTW, a box of Omaha steaks as a gift is an AWESOME gift! My brother-in-law sent me one years and years ago, and I still remember how damn good those steaks were.

    Be calm and well, Grace ❤️

  • Gabriela Isabel Keeton

    Not to sound cheesy – but we love you for who you are – ALL of you – back then and now! Excited to see where 2020 takes you <3

  • Emily Durbin

    This is the most wonderful relatable content you have ever made. “You can’t just go to bed and like wake up and all the lightbulbs will be turned on.” YES.
    This year felt like a simulation. In good ways too! But like, does that mean life is a simulation? Anyways, I love you. What? I don’t even know you. What is YouTube? A simulation. Okay byeeeee

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  • Wouter Waayer

    You still have the funny thing. Because this was the funniest video I’ve seen all year.

  • Mr Eboric

    But where are you metaphysically?

  • AngelOr10092000

    just love yourself and continue spreadin the love

  • ella mor

    You remind me of tina fay

  • Chandra Greenberg

    I've been watching your videos since 2013-ish, and I can see that you have changed and so has your content in some ways but you know what? I think that's dope! You're still bright and hilarious and thoughtful no matter what type of content you choose to make, and we can see that. It's been a wild few years for lots of us. Thanks for sharing a piece of your journey 🙂

  • Steph Slow

    Thanks for sharing this, Grace. It's great to hear you (or anyone) talk candidly about negative self talk and comparison with one's past self. My career is not as a creative, but I have found myself comparing my past young, productive, eager self with my current self before. There's so much ahead for you and for all of us (is what I tell myself)!
    I saw this on twitter and thought I would share because it is related:
    https://twitter.com/maggiesmithpoet/status/1207649211640094721

  • Daisy Dai

    I never write YouTube comments, but I just wanted to say I love you so much Grace. I have followed you for years and have listened to every episode of this might get weird. You make my days so much better. Thank you for sharing your journey with mental health this year. You are so strong, genuine and just plain amazing. I’m so proud of everything you have done, and I cannot wait to see what you do next year <3

  • Emma Langmaid

    this is amazing grace. (omg pun not intended) I’ve been watching a long time, and noticed your mental shifts, and I’m so proud and happy for you that you’re acknowledging the fear of not being your most successful self, yearning for it. so many creators go through that and just pretend like nothing about them or their lives or the state of the site has changed, and they ultimately fail because they never acknowledge and take the leap of doing something else. the fact you’re doing that is so brave and I know things are going to work out great for you 💕

  • Cami Vanarsdel

    I was a huge fan of Grace in the DailyGrace days, I think it was around 2011-2014 where I was watching her daily. For some reason I felt a connection to Grace- I see so many similarities and we've been through several of the same situations. Then I started to fall off watching YouTube and so I haven't been watching for years. I was going through some old stuff when I found something I made for Grace in 2011; I was 14 and really in to fashion and design. I put it in a box, put her P.O. address and everything, but I never sent it. So it made me wonder where she was at now, and so I stumbled on this.

    It saddens me to see that you've had a tough year, Grace. I've also found myself in a funk lately, so I understand a lot of what you are saying. Just know that you are loved and it's always 100% okay to your fans if you need time to focus on yourself and your mental health. You're doing wonderful.

  • Michael M Albano

    I was not exactly familiar with "should" as negative self talk, thank you for sharing that thought. I don't know your whole circumstance or situation, but I do remember viewing another confessional of yours way before you did interviews and podcasts (closer to the time of getting your mtv internship and your experience of getting that signature). That is a time I thought your adventurous side bloomed and why I still have you subscribed because you express your struggles and victories, but they may not be struggles or victories at the time. Thank you for being brave and courageous.

  • wilmau

    You're super good at podcasting and being a host, you killed it in smosh game show !!! So I think you should make you own game show, it can be on your podcast set and camera set up etc
    And I think it will be really fun for you and you will be able to reinvite all of your podcast guests

  • dwadl

    <3 grace

  • wilmau

    Stop working alone, get people to play around with, they are many small youtubers out there who would love to help you both on screen and off screen even as a job! You are funny and you are loved, stop carrying that weight alone GET PRODUCTION HELP TOO

  • Holley Dalton

    The guilt you talk about when everything seems to be going great but you still feel like sh*t and you're like yo brain why are you like this??? I "should" be feeling ok but i'm not?? I know exactly how you feel! and yes my therapist also made me realize how often I say "should" and how detrimental to our own happiness "shoulds" can be! You are right though, we are allowed to feel all the feelings even if we don't want to at times. Just keep on keeping on and everything will be okay!

  • M

    I really enjoyed this video. Im sort of in a similar process of allowing myself to grow in certain areas and stop clinging to the past. Im excited to see u just being you with no constraints 🎉

  • womacks8675309

    Thank you Grace. Good luck. I hope you find what you need.

  • Martyna Konieczka

    Love you grace ❤️ you always put a smile on my face! :^)

  • Cecilie

    Thank you for this🙏

  • Swati Baweja

    Grace you have such a good heart. I've loved you ever since I saw your first video years ago. I hope you have a great year. 🧡🧡

  • A.J

    I'm feeling you on so many levels girl! You have no idea how much I can relate to every single aspect of what you have been going through. Please find comfort in knowing you are not alone. Thank you for sharing and helping me to see that I too am not alone in this sucky, mental rut, struggle, thing ❤

  • W Yu

    Grace, you're a human being a human on YouTube.
    I appreciate your honesty, your sense of humour, and all your humanity.

    That's the content that I keep coming back for.

  • Key

    2019 was a comedy gold mine

  • Endezeichen Grimm

    Grace is Mental, we always knew it. Ding

  • ASMR touch

    I dont know why I feel it, I dont know any evidence to cite. In my bones, I know it… 2020 is a year of clarity for a lot of people.

  • Peter P

    Do you have any big plans for your 40th birthday?

  • Alyssa Rinearson

    You are a wonderfully complex human, like we literally all are. 2019 blew chunky chunks and it is O K to try to find your way in life, no matter where you are or how old you are. We all love and support your beautiful lil head, Grace!

  • Nils Belonio

    Lots of love to you! Take your time and look after yourself. <3 2019's been a rough one…

  • The Life of Trish

    2019 was weird for sure!

  • TheMiddleKiddo

    2019 was a WEIRD YEAR. Lots of AMAZING moments that I’ll remember forever. The highs were so damn high but damn….the lows? Literally rock bottom. So much pain. But working thru it and hoping to grow more in 2020

  • Jack LeGrange

    2019 has been a fantastic year for me! I’m sorry to see it go!

  • Mostly Zaye

    Same. Literally, same. Everything you said I could relate to. This year was the hardest ever. Ever. So props to anyone who made it on the other side, and here's to an amazing 2020 🌟

  • Pretty Kitty

    2019: TF that's done with

  • Katie Eisenhower

    Thank you thank you thank you. Love you love you love you.

  • mess of messages

    you should have worn a louder sweater tbh

  • Angela

    I know what you're going through. I'm in the mental health field, and have anxiety. I'm also in the performing arts/comedy, and haven't done anything creative in a while. I feel torn because I have ideas for characters/ sketches, but don't have the energy to write because of my day job. I tell myself to take it one day at a time while continuing to attend my own therapy. As long as you're aware of your limitations and setbacks, you'll be alright. The hard part is pushing yourself to do what you love.

  • Lucas J

    Definitely true for me.

  • Duane Walker

    You are now and forever one of my favorite youtubers/entertainers because I think even though you don't think you are, you're actually very GOOD at being real/authentic/genuine and connecting with the viewer in a way that feels… okay. Let's put it this way. YouTube is full to bursting with people who want to get something out of their viewers, but when you make a video, it shows that you genuinely want to give us something of value. I think maybe part of why you're so hard on yourself is that you're the sort of person who always thinks you should be doing more, no matter how much you do. I don't know why, but I get a feeling that even though you think your golden years were the old days, you actually have even bigger and better things on the horizon, now that you're learning how to be kind to yourself. Half the battle is allowing yourself to dream big. Go fuck some shit up, Helbig!! You didn't make it this far by accident! <3

  • Jim Windelborn

    Thanks, Grace, and cheers to 2020!

  • Chantal Mota

    ❤❤❤❤!!!!!!

  • Souly vanh

    Thank for sharing this with us. It looks like it takes a lot of courage. But If you ask me, it is worthy bc I can relate to the self-doubting, and seeing I'm not alone and that's quite normal when you're growing up, it's really really helping.
    So thank you from the bottom of my heart. ♥
    A human being from France.

  • Bobby Boy

    2019 sucked ass

  • Danielle McMahon-Jones

    2019 was a dumpster fire, but it’s nice to see you again Grace ❤️ I hope 2020 is great to you!!!

  • Lorie Lewis Ham

    It was definitely weird for me too

  • nomeaknat

    I know it has been a week but you are my favourite. You are gorgeous and hilarious and my favorite person ever.

  • Reborn 616

    😂you say rambly, but it definitely feels like it's a lot more personal to hear your thoughts on how the year went for you. Beautifully done btw😉. It's funny that you mentioned something about self evaluation, because recently, at work, I was lost in thought as to how I should better myself for the new year. The usual kept popping up in mind, you know, lose weight, better diet, more exercise, get out and talk to people… I'll be honest, that last one is gonna take some time🤨. All I'm saying is that it was so refreshing to hear everything you said in your video. Also, I love every video of yours that I've watched❤. On Christmas, I watched your makeup tutorial with my 7 y/o niece, she liked you so much that she wanted to watch it twice. She thinks you're very pretty and likes the way you cover up the swearing in you vids. We especially like your cooking specials, you have some damn creative ideas.(my thoughts, not hers. Lol) where was I going with this, oh yeah, I wish you the happiest of new years blessings and please, never stop being so awesome. Well, gotta go. Take care❤

  • Mariah Moen

    We love you Grace! Been watching you for over 8 years. I’m trying to get the nerve up to start making some of my own content and though I have a bunch of ideas I’m terrified! Lol You’re so inspirational/brave in how you manage your business-self while taking care of yourself, a relationship and a dog! Not to mention being a renowned author, actor, touring performer… 🙂 round of applause! All kinds of ideas and advice came up while I was watching but you don’t need any, you just need our support lol. Love ya. Whatever you need or want to do “we will follow you, follow you wherever you may go” lolol 💕

  • Therese Besch

    Girl, this year sucked for me. Good luck. Hang in there.

  • Alex Crespo is Awesome Sauce The Movie

    Just focus on the positive, and ignore all of the negative

  • Dai mon

    Fecal matter all over this year you have to laugh 😂😂😅😁😰😥🤮🤮🤮🤮💩

  • Enya DuBois

    Your hair has had a really great year!!!

  • Sean Taylor

    Hi Grace. There is no obvious reason, why someone like me should watch your video's, but I do so regularly. Whatever you're doing, and whatever you do, it's always entertaining, and occasionally moving. I think that just means, you're a natural broadcaster / content provider. I wouldn't worry too much about what comes next, and whether it's "worthy" or meaningful. Just keep doing what you want to do, and see where it takes you. Rest assured that you are a force for good and general happiness in what can be a grim world at times. As an aside, I think you've literally never looked hotter than you do currently. So… there's that.

  • Maria

    Grace, I’ve been watching your videos since I was 11. I’m 20 now. I’m a sophomore in college and your videos/podcasts have always given me something to look forward too. Over the years I’ve seen a lot of growth and change in your videos and overall online presence. You said you’ve been struggling with comparing yourself to your past self, and I know this doesn’t mean much coming from some random college student but I think you’re only getting better. When I think back to your old videos I think “wow look how far Grace has come, I’m so proud of her” You are still funny, that wasn’t a fluke. You could probably post a video of yourself reading a phone book and it would still be quality entertainment. I’m glad you made this video, because you were right, we can tell when somethings off. But it would be heartbreaking to see things are off and you not address it and try to cover it up with gimicky videos. It’s ok to have a rough time and I’m glad you have a support system to help you. Just know we’ll all be here supporting you every step of the way. You got this!

  • KvnHcks

    MyDamnChannel

  • Josh Valjan

    I've been a fan for a while. You're awesome Grace. 2019 was one of the hardest years of my life. But I learned and grew so much. I'm ready to take on 2020. So many goals, so much to accomplish. Always be your authentic self. Keep doing you. You have my support ☺️❤️

  • Monica

    2019 was definitely a weird year for me. One of the most emotional, and for pretty intangible reasons, so I really related to you saying sometimes you feel guilty for feeling badly about some aspects of your life when you're so fortunate in other ways.

  • frankieee Buccia

    grace ur the best human i've ever met and i hope u feel better

  • Lindsey Jones

    I agree 2019 was weird for me too. Just want you to know that I don't miss old Grace Videos. I love all Grace videos! I just filled out my Nerdfighteria Census and I said you were my favorite youtuber! You rock always!

  • Avary Bartholomay

    We love love love you Grace!!💛💛 2019 was a pretty snotty year.🤧 Hopefully it will only make you stronger and an even more incredible person than you already are. Do your future happy self a solid and keep GOING and working on making yourself better. 💛🤜🤛

  • Matthew

    Go back to your roots. I loved your videos over 10 years ago, but you're gradually slipping into this progressive media experiment. You were perfect as yourself, and that's all you need to be.

  • Kendall Bailey

    I can relate to this so much! Most of this is exactly what I've been going through. YOU are not alone in feeling this way… WE are not alone… it feels like it sometimes but we aren't. <3

  • Karen J

    You talked about negative mental head chatter. Check out a book called, “quiet “by Fearne Cotton. It’s not the typical self-help book. She basically talks about dealing with negative head chatter and so she still very much a work in progress. So it’s not preachy but rather enlightening. She has written a series of books and I intend to read them all. I really think you’ll dig this one!

  • Jerel Damon

    2020!

  • Stephanie Bagley

    “I’m allowed to feel all the feelings cause I’m not a robot hahaha” 😭😭😭 that brought me wayy back.

    I’m 25 and idk wtf is happening (well we all kinda have a glimpse of how messed things are) but 2019 was a Whirlwind and I haven’t even processed 2016! I’m also feeling super nostalgic for 2012-2014 idk why they seemed so perfect !? Life was so different so much have changed and so much is changing so suddenly and I think we all kinda have a little shell shock from the massive shifts. You are totally not along there.

  • Stephanie Bagley

    Watching you correct your selftalk out loud makes me so happy I do that all the time and it can get so awkward but I love it keep just being you grace

  • pancakerepairman

    your default state being finding life empty and meaningless isn't a problem that needs to be labelled or solved. paying someone to listen to you talk about yourself and pretend to care isn't healthy. medicating yourself into finding being part of a facile society fulfilling is a form of suicide. break up with your boyfriend and move back to new york.

  • David Kaye

    Thank you so much for sharing all of this. Sometimes the most important thing can just be to talk, however scary it is. There are also times when what we just need to hear is that we are not the only ones going through all the mental health struggles that so many of us face.

    I was first hospitalized for anxiety and depression about ten days after I got back from my honeymoon. There can be amazing things and we are still just dragged down by all the lies our minds tell us.

    If you ever want to know about someone else's journey (mine) www.bythebi.me

    Thank you again Grace.

  • red_quinn

    Grace it’s our fault for getting shittier senses of humour, not you !!!!

  • AquilaLiberum

    Grace,
    I have been watching your videos since the days of Daily Grace and My Damn Channel. Lately I admit I have stopped watching because I felt that I didn't really know you anymore, your personality seemed covered up by a haze of you just trying so hard to be funny. In this video when you acknowledge that you want to present yourself in a way that's more reflective of who you really are, it all came rushing back to me why I had subscribed to you in the first place when I started watching YouTube in 2012; I saw the OG Grace shine through and it was wonderful.

    I'm really glad you're using this platform to just talk directly and frankly about your mental health issues despite the voices telling you not to, because I feel that everyone needs to do this. In terms of my own mental health, 2019 has been one of the darkest years of my life and while I'm now on the first stepping stone out of that situation, it was only possible for me to get there by talking to friends about it. You being a popular figure on YouTube and talking so frankly about your mental health sets a fantastic example for your followers to do the same and I'm really grateful to you for that. 

    YouTube has changed so much since I started watching (CTFxC was the first vlogging YT channel I subscribed to) but I think that people like you being their genuine selves and discussing positive mindsets while acknowledging when things are getting tough is what will keep the platform from stagnating into something really unhealthy.

    I don't think it's healthy for you to dwell on "old Grace" because you have evolved so much since then. HOWEVER, I definitely think you should bring back the thing you did with your fist under your chin with the 'Ding', it was fantastic >.<

    All of my love from a longtime fan <3

    -Kyle

  • Mary Trussler

    Thank you same here… ♡

  • Ed_Vilon

    I know I'm late, but fuck 2019. Horrible fucking year for me personally. Here's to a better 2020 for all of us! Good luck Grace and anyone who reads this!

  • Carlee George

    “I’m allowed to feel all the things. Cause I’m not a robot!” This was so genuinely how my brain thinks about things 😂 love how real you got. Keep doing you❤️

  • Haifa S. AlHamzah

    i've missed genuine and real Grace! hey there 👋🏼

  • Sanity016

    I compare my current self to my past self ALL THE TIME! I know it's unhealthy, but I'm so used to the feeling. Living in the moment is hard.

  • Don't Stop Readin'

    2019 was weird AF

  • fotogirrafes

    I've watched you for quite a few years now, Grace. I love how open you're being about your self and struggles and just "being a human being". I love watching your videos, because yes…you are funny, but you're also real and awkward at times and genuine and you always have been and will continue to be. 2019 was a hard year for me as well, so I can totally feel that and appreciate you naming it. Much love and support!!

  • Heather Mills

    love you grace x

  • Václav Vohlídal

    Hey Grace. I remember first seeing you ocasionally on some Facebook recommended funny reviews. And i first subscribed sometimes when the mymusic started coming out as I loved you in it so much. After that I kinda drifted away from your content as I grew older, still watching when Youtube decided to recommend something. Then suddenly today youtube recommended me this. (A little bit late to the show I know) Anyway now I am nearly crying here, because I feel exactly the same way you are. 2019 completely sucked for me, despite all the good stuff happening. And i didnt understand why. And I hope we will all grow from it and move forward. So good luck to all of us and Happy new f***ing Decade I guess.

  • Rob

    @7:50

  • Cunty Hunty

    I have been with you since the Daily Grace days.
    You have got me through a whole lot which i'm not going to dive into cause it's like A WHOLE LOT.
    I still love you so much, watching you having fun is contagious and makes me smile.
    DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
    The reason why we love you is seeing you be happy so don't stress about what kind of content to create, as long as you enjoy what you are doing independently from your "expected format" or "youtube trend", we'll be here.
    That said, you've been here for a long time so we fully understand you want to expand your horizons to new kinds of content, i think i'm speaking for everyone when i say we LOVE LOVE LOVE Not Too Deep and This Might Get Weird, don't beat yourself down because you're not among the top youtubers anymore (also, if you look at the messy, inauthentic and toxic content that's getting produced by that part of the community nowadays, except for people like Jenna and so on, you should be happy you're not in that drama bunch…)
    That said,
    WE LOVE YOU FOR YOU.
    PEOPLE GROW AND CHANGE CONSTANTLY, DON'T THINK THAT YOU NEED TO STICK TO A UTOPIC IDEA OF YOURSELF IN ORDER TO KEEP YOUR AUDIENCE, WE LOVE SEEING YOU GROW AND EXPAND YOUR WAYS.

    Love you always Grace.

  • Kal-El Chapo

    RAPE HER RITE NOW!

  • yasmina C

    2019, for me and so many people around me in my life, has been one of the worst years, so I know 2020 will be better for all of us — just in comparison to that horribleness lol

  • Donko Penev

    Thank you for saying that the Mandalorian was getting boring…

  • JD257able

    2019 was the weirdest of years… so now we got a whole new decade to let´s see where it ends <3 You´ll come out of it just fine… I tell the famous Youtuber who`ll never read it and myself

  • paul williamson

    Stay cheerful grace! X

  • Emily Sherman

    Hi Grace! I've been watching your channel since I was a child in high school, about 8ish years ago. I've been following you ever since, and I would like to say that it has been really cool to see you grow and change as a person as I feel myself grow and change as a person. It has made my growth and change feel more bearable to know that I'm not the only person going through it, especially as someone who has struggled with anxiety/depression/disordered eating. Thank you for sharing your story. Your videos have gotten me through so many different times of my life, as they have for so many others. Sidebar: when I first started watching your channel, I was so obsessed with you that I actually tried to emulate how you talk and now I just talk like this. I'm not in the least bit mad about it.

  • Lucki Foxx

    I can’t wait to see what you create. I love you ❤️

  • J C

    Loved you in the very beginning and love you even more now ❤️

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