Why Is Allison Bad At Dating? (Dating With Mental Illness) I Just Between Us

Why Is Allison Bad At Dating? (Dating With Mental Illness) I Just Between Us


Welcome to Just Between us! Don’t do that! Why? It’s dangerous. This is very dangerous, kids, so never use
this. What? You should only use one of those long
lighters. Part of liking candles is enjoying pain. What? Oh my god, I’m facing all my f… It’s incredible you’re not dead. I turned it off, that’s why you didn’t get
hurt. No, I grabbed the flame. No, I unreleased my hand. Not before I turned the flame off. You didn’t… This week we have not one but two questions. Two questions? Is that allowed? I don’t know, I’m making the rules up as we go. How do you date with mental illness? -Olive from Toronto Canada Follow up question from Mina in Australia International question Two international questions! Ohh Canada is not america! Why does Allison have such a bad dating
history? One question, I feel, answers the other. Yes. Mental health, let’s talk about it. Many times in my life, I have not been
ready to date. Because you have to love yourself. Well, you have to be stable. Being stable (Gaby: Stable…) is
crucial when trying to involve another person in the chaos that is your mind. Because if you have bad mental health,
it’s hard to rely on someone else as a fix for your mental health. Someone not texting you back, regular
person: awful. Someone not texting you back, unstable
person: oh, man. Chaos, tears, scratching. It’s a rollercoaster, and sometimes you
are in a great place, and you do deserve love, and you are ready
for love, and you’ll convince yourself that you’re not because of your history,
but if you’ve done the work and you feel ready, then maybe you’re ready. Cause we get a lot of questions about how
could it be possible that someone as beautiful as Allison has had trouble
dating. We got one question. We get questions like that… Also, guys, I wasn’t always this beautiful. I sorted all of our emails this weekend. Gaby looked at the emails. Because it turns out, did you know that
people are saying nice things about us there? So anyway, I read all of them, and a lot
of people are confused as to how someone as beautiful as Allison could
have such a sordid dating history. I’m a mess!
If I look back on my past behavior, of course those people didn’t respond in
the right way. Yeah, I don’t think it has anything to do
with, like, being beautiful. The two aren’t related, so that question
baffles me. There is a question in, like, when do you
share that stuff about yourself, how upfront do you need to be with someone,
and I’m kind of of the mind of like, if the person can’t handle it, then…
they’re not the right person. If you go, “Oh, I have OCD and depression,”
and they go, “Weird…” that person sucks. (jazzy music) One of the best things I’ve done in my
life is making it very clear that I’m not cool and chill. Hello, viewers, Week 4 of me being
contractually obligated to tell you to check out i love makeup.’s Youtube channel
to watch me play a weird version of myself in Makeup Call. Is this, has your soul died yet? I have no soul left, yeah. Subtitles by the Amara.org community

Comments

(100 Comments)

  • Paolo haggini

    Then Canada must be in Africa!! i knew it

  • Jess

    are gaby and Garett still dating? (I'm not trying to be rude just wondering)

  • Lewis Grace

    I'd date Allison in a heartbeat.

  • Iknouare ButwhatamI

    Laverne and Shirley

  • ninjaturtlesism

    I've been dating someone for a little over 3 years, and I'm not perfect. Allison, just go for it. Someone will accept you even if you aren't and for your imperfections. Communication is key. And remember to love yourself!

  • grrr 。

    people are not meant to be perfect. relationship supposed to fill each other up

  • Rachael Green

    I love you guys this channel is a life saver, seriously I spend more time laughing about my breakup and you guys are giving me solid advice on all aspects of my last relationship. You're both wonderful and beautiful and please keep this channel going <3

  • mcveigh 2k

    you both are beautiful smart and amazing ladies, hate that people prejudge people with mental health issues , its sucks being alone

  • Valérie Sharp

    I love you Allison, but as a Canadian, I feel that you need to leave … I'm not American! Canada. Is. Not. A. State. It. Is. A. Separate. Country. From. The. United. States. (dammit)

  • Austin Evans

    I just want to find somone who's as broken as I am so we can just be broken together

  • Jessica Cordill

    This is my life. Forever single. Never ready.

  • Andrew Howden

    the first rule is to love, or as least like or be friends with yourself, you have a great friend but I'm sure you want the whole shebang. xx

  • Camden Pyne

    Oh Canada is not America! One of my favorite quotes from the whole show

  • BonnetClaw

    LMAO…I love the comparisons between normal reaction and unstable reaction to absentee texts.  TEXTING MATTERS DAMMIT.

  • Moose HeadMedia

    CANADA IS AMERICA!!!!!! Its a country in north america. The U.S. Is not all if america it is the U.S., a country. That comment is literally the biggest of my pet peeves.

  • Deirdre Mitchell

    #relatable

  • A potato

    how do you mix-up America and Canada

  • Sansa L.

    Yeah I'm a mess too. My first boyfriend was a friend I had for 7 years and I screwed up so bad that we don't talk anymore. Stupid me

  • Desmond Qu

    Allison is gorgeous, funny and quirky beyond belief, she deserves the best boyfriend on earth as long as she doesn't stab him to death

  • J.A.I2239 ZITRO

    how do we send y'all messages I have a question for y'all

  • Le Moth

    I have a social and health based anxiety disorder and its so tough. when people don't text back it's automatically that they hate me

  • Grii Zel

    Allison is soo cute and beautiful ❤️ they both are actually 😍

  • Laurissa Allen

    I disagree. I have THE WORST mental health, but an amazing boyfriend who does not seem to mind and we both love each other like crazy.

  • Mak Rose

    She grabbed the flame

  • dzle120

    That's fascinating. Part of me am soo curious if I could handle dating someone mentally unstable.
    (Knowing my luck, she'll probably dump me after a couple months)

  • Bucha Thin

    i'm allison in the beginning of this video

  • Nxtxlie Louise

    "Im a mess"
    Me too Allison, me too

  • Gianna Shawley

    the first 35 seconds I was dying!!

  • Iulia Ionela Lucifer

    "One of the best things that I've done in my life is making it clear that I'm not cool and chill" – Allison. This is probably among the most hilarious, but also unintentionally perfect personal quotes I've ever hear lol. Love you, girls!

  • Luisa Meviam

    this video.. I completely understand it. and that's something a lot of people I've dated can't understand at all. almost to the point that they think it's not acceptable to not feel well all the time or to be depressed. thanks Allison

  • DasZuckerhaus

    "one of the best things I've done in my life is making it very clear that I'm not cool and chill " XDDD <33

  • Lane882

    hi guys, i have a question. i have a severe physical handicap from 14 brain surgeries and i don't know if or when i will ever be ready for sex. could this harm my relationship with my boyfriend in the long run?

  • Claire Wood

    I have had huge mental health difficulties based around relationships in the past and I've definitely come to realise that, while it's not exactly true that you have to "love yourself before someone else can love you" (because that implies that you cannot be loved with low self-esteem) it's definitely easier to get involved with someone when you have a handle on who you are and how your own brain works, which is what I'm working on getting now. Great video gals!!

  • Matthew Smith

    That sound mixing at the end tho

  • Aaliya UL-HAQ

    did gaby just say up urs

  • Littlebluebox

    i hate to break it to you, but Canada IS America.

  • Scarlette Moore

    Seee, I'm not stable, this is why I can't have nice things.

  • Ada Carley

    I love that this was one of the questions you all addressed. I have generalized anxiety and have been prone to symptoms of depression in the past. I also have epilepsy. Not a mental illness per se, but my kind of epilepsy is set off by stress and sleep deprivation, so having anxiety disorder really doesn't help with that. I'm currently in my first serious relationship with a guy and it's been going really well. I think it helps, as a person with mental illness and going into a relationship, if you start out as friends with the person you're dating. That way the person kind of knows what to expect going into it and it's not just all unloaded onto them at once. Having said that, it really depends upon the person you're with and how prepared you are for a relationship. I'm lucky enough to have found someone with a lot of patience and sympathy. But I think, especially for those with anxiety, you need to make sure that you are ready to date before you go out there and get someone. Otherwise, it could just be disastrous for everyone involved.

  • Hey Jamie

    I keep having to remind myself I'm not watching 'Sam & Cat: LIVE!'

  • lastminott

    I'm a fan not trolling. do you think you could align the us under the w a little more evenly.

  • Alex Guillen

    I relate to Allison in the beginning.  Fire is bad & scary, be safe.

  • Chloe O

    " oh…. Canada's not America!" You're right……. It's America's annoyingly polite neighbor!! Lol

  • Brittany Jacobsen

    Allison is super brave to talk about this and Gaby is an amazing friend who loves her very much to be sitting there next to her talking about this. If Allison never falls in love with Gaby back may both find their person just like the other.

  • Natalia Matos

    I think this is your most serious ep yet

  • Hannah Beauparlant

    Best thing ever said "Being stable is crucial when involving another person in the chaos that is your mind"

  • Zachary Coronado

    "Oh Canada is not America!"

    Thank you Allison for that one

  • Zachary Coronado

    "One of the best things I've done in my life is make clear I am not calm and cool"

    Quite relatable, as was the whole video.

    One of my most favorite videos ever

  • Paper Moon

    ALLISON IS GORGEOUS!!!!

  • charles198025

    As long as Allison is open to it I believe she will find someone eventually. I am happy she has Gaby.

  • Blisslessly Aware

    When I started watching these two, I fancied Gaby. Now, after watching more and more of them, I seem to have swapped and now I completely adore Allison 🙂 I feel disloyal, yet ultimately pleased.

  • First name Last name

    you guys are awesome

  • Unintelligent Intellectual

    "CANADA IS NOT AMERICA!!" 😂😂

  • First name Last name

    Alison. ..you are beautiful inside and out…and your mental illness and how honest you are about it us what makes you even more endearing. Suffering means yu can connect with others and empathize. same thing happened to me ☺

  • AnotherAuthor

    I think my favorite quote from Allison had been "Then that person sucks"

  • Ash M

    Allison, please feel the love! You both are great, and I literally can't keep my eyes off of you because you're so gorgeously quirky! You deserve someone equally amazing but I'm afraid also- just as rare 😉 good luck chica bonita! Thanks for your dedication ladies!

  • Sir Quest Giver

    My ears…
    The end…
    Ow…

  • boow lover

    I just subscribe 2 u guys

  • Duygu Ozkan

    Gaby was right with the fire thing… Yes I tried 2 regular times and 1 time slow motion

  • Elsie

    yyyeesss!!! that person has to like all of you!! 😁

  • Melissa Orsini

    Allison, Canada IS in America.
    America is a continent with 35 countries.. United States OF America is only 1 of them.

  • Meg M

    Sparkly tooop :):):)

  • Meg M

    "That person sucks". Thank you so much for this Allison. I needed to hear that even just on a friend level. I had a best friend who freaked out when I told her about my depression and self harm history. At one point I asked her to stay in the room with me for a little while because I felt like I wanted to harm myself and I wanted someone with me while it passed. From my point of view that's an incredibly healthy response to knowing that I still struggle with depression sometimes, but it passes, and how not to let it get bad. Well, no. She freaked out and said she was scared by what I was capable of :/ even after a lot of talk over the next few months and me trying to get her to see it for what it is: similar to a physical problem. If I had diabetes and was having a low/high you wouldn't freak out if I asked you to stay with me until it was better in case I passed out or something. I feel like that's just responsible. She kind of said she understood but we were never that close after.

  • I'm Good

    Canada is technically American, they're North American too. Love the show. 🙂

  • Zsuzsi Szabados

    love Alison

  • Nala lou

    Why does everyone think Gaby is the prettier one of them. I think Allison is much prettier than Gaby.

  • Hannah Akers

    I identify with Allison

  • Emma Frost

    I wouldn't risk the shot. I gave two men with a mental problem a chance but I'll never do it again. The anger and frustration they caused me is awful and all they did was blame their mental condition.

  • haley’s Ass

    I would love to have a friendship like yours.

  • JokeRmakesPie

    I tried dating three times. And it all ended in failure. I need to start loving myself.

  • Liliana Brewer

    I love these mental health videos 🙂

  • Helena TheUnicorn

    "part of liking candles is enjoying pain" …. can i PLEASE have that on a shirt? lol

  • Sophie Sunshine

    I once started dating a guy because he was making me feel beautiful and confident. Worst descion ever because I hurt him badly.

  • j essa

    i can see myself in Allison's personality

  • Zaid Al Sekri

    "Unreleased my hand" umm..

  • bea gonzalez

    Canada is America! America is a continent!

  • this charming woman

    "Being stable is crucial when trying to involve another person in the chaos thar is your mind."

    -Allison Raskin, 2015

  • Pheonix Sunrise

    You guys are fantastic

  • MissLEAHneous —

    "I'm a mess" Freaking relatable.

  • F M

    I watched this with german subtitles because Im having a german exam tomorrow and now I dont know how I feel

  • Tay

    gaby is too hot for the flame ^-^

  • Butterkeks Gangster

    These are actually great tipps!

  • latronqui

    oh, so Allison used to give real answers at some point?

  • ErinM

    My fiancé knew from the get go that I had a couple coinciding mental illnesses, but it was more of a, "dude that counter was clean the 2nd time you wiped it…it's been an hour pls stop. No don't cry you are lovely, do you need a xanax? No just one is good, taking two just for the even number is not healthy" type of way. He knows, we talk about it, but my craziness is something he lives with and will try to understand because he loves me, mental issues included. It's a serious blessing.
    But you guys are right, I wasn't able to love myself..let alone try to crutch on someone who couldn't handle both of our problems forever without bolting. Seems like once I accepted myself and started to love myself, I attracted accepting and loving people, which made dating much easier as it wasn't so much about my mental health, but the support and acceptance for having those problems. It is so easy to try and rush into a relationship when you don't feel secure in your own skin, to try and find someone to 'fix' you..just remember that you are not defined by your illness! But should be loved, by yourself most importantly, for the entirety of who you are. Thanks for the insight guys! Love as always 🕉

  • Danielle Tirpkoff

    🖒👍

  • Hassan Brice

    I want to meet Gaby.

  • corrda1993

    America is just Canada a little to the south.

  • Boop

    Coming from the video published today where Allison calls Michigan a foreign country, then I get to 0:50…

  • TJ Tharp

    why do I love Gallison? 💖

  • Byron JR

    Canada is part of America. Because America is a Continent Allison

  • sara carrasco

    you are so stunning Alison and Gaby love y'all j have anxiety so I get it

  • Leopard-King

    It's important that I don't date a woman with a mental illness. She needs to be of a sound mind. That way when we eventually break up, I can take full credit for giving my ex her first one.

    All kidding aside, I've always felt that large portions of our brains create operations dedicated to shielding us from the jarring features of an unsettling existence. Most pathologies I find have a hint of honesty over much. It's a brain that forgot to sooth you with cognitive lullabies. A lot of disorders tend to wrap around the ugly furniture of threat assessment. Take Allison's OCD. If we were constantly aware of how our skin is teaming with bacteria, maybe we wouldn't touch door handles either. Disorders are the realization that things are really not okay, and this "troubled" brain reacts almost, well…properly.

  • Mani Smiles

    I have been going though stress and anxiety about my career and future which meant that I was not ready for a mature relationship. Im just disappointed that it took me a month to realise it and tell him.

  • vidhika

    I get into a literal panic when someone doesn't immediately text me back. I start thinking that person hates me or thinks I'm too needy or clingy. Then I get defensive when they do text me back — I'm in a one sided argument with my best friend and he doesn't even know there's an argument happening.

  • bowtie345

    “Chaos, tears…scratching”

  • ANsOn II

    Yes, it is horrid. I never had a date ever. Not even a relation.

  • MalumInSe

    I feel like I cant

  • hey its shoshy

    "Oh ya Canada isn't America, I forgot!"

    And that's how Allison wound up on every Canadian's shit list 🙄😅🇨🇦

  • Bandana Sharma

    Ok, there's a very simple explanation here. Men do not like smart women. Allison is extremely smart. They will pretend to be into it and can handle it for a couple of months, max a couple of years and then they start acting how they feel.. really threatened. Cuz being smart is their identity (especially if they don't embody other obvious masculine traits). Then they start competing with you. men don't care about looks nearly as much as they care about their sense of security emotionally and having a sense of identity.

  • J A

    I like the way Alison bounces

  • Jose Palacios

    You don’t because people will hate you eventually and that’s painful to go through

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